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3.21.2006

WWE Talent Recycling / Wellness Program in effect

The WWE cut guys like Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, Test, Mordecai, A-Train and Nathan Jones for various reasons within the past twenty four months. Now it appears that at least the first two names mentioned have already re-signed, with the next two expected to ink a new deal anytime now. A-Train and Jones have been involved in light negotiations. My boy Darkside will be happy to know that the "E" is apparently interested in re-evaluating Sean O'Haire - but the dummy has been difficult to reach and may encounter problems similar to that of Marty Janetty.

Why are these guys being looked at now? Are they suddenly better workers now than when they were released? Are they suddenly more compelling, with a ready-made storyline for them to jump into? Of course not.

The reason why the WWE is suddenly interested in these guys is because they're all naturally big. Emphasis on the word "naturally".

With the first round of urine tests having been conducted as a total surprise last night at the TV tapings - the company wants to bring in talent that will look big even if they aren't juiced. In case you're wondering, management had everyone on the roster (except Goldust and Conway who were absent) tested. Apparently no punishments will be issued for this round of testing, but these tests will be used as a barometer to ensure that anyone who is on illegal substances is working to get off of them.

Anyone notice Kurt Angle's new trick? The incredible shrinking arms! Watch the former gas-head as he tries to preserve his life and literally shrivels up before your eyes. How about Cena? A guy who was a body-builder before getting into wrestling - and suddenly he doesn't look like such a 'Prototype'. Anyone notice those pecs have gotten mighty flat? Not nearly as puffed out as they were a couple months ago.

It's no secret that Vince McMahon loves big dudes. He has learned to tolerate smaller guys if they are jacked and can make money. Even guys like Rey Rey are starting to look a lot trimmer. I hate the idea of a whole bunch of lumbering no-talents back in the company that just two years ago decided to go progressive and had Benoit and Guerrero as it's World Champions. You can expect guys like Test, Chris Masters, Mordecai (who apparently has become friends with Taker) and oh ya - the next WWE Champion Triple H to be pushed to the moon.

The hilarious bit of irony here is that Test (Andrew Martin) has publicly slagged the WWE and McMahonagment since Eddie Guerrero's death for the way they treat their talent. He has essentially blamed the company and the business for Eddie's addictions and his untimely end. Now, I suppose Test is singing a remix of DiBiase's old song. Everybody has a price - to shut the hell up.

Strangely, the WWE has also resigned Shannon Moore. TNA's Prince Of Punk had a contract on the table that he never signed. Jarrett and company obviously figured something was up, so they went out and trademarked Moore's new gimmick. What on earth are they going to do with him? Make him cruiserweight champion for a minute then bury his ass on Velocity for six months before releasing him again - that's what.

On the other side of the transaction ledger, the company has come to terms with Matt Anoai (Rosey) for his full release. Why? Only four weeks ago a story had leaked that the WWE had signed Rosey's former tag partner Jamal and were looking at a 3 Minute Warning reunion.

Is anyone at that company looking past the next show? This honestly feels like WCW in the late 90's. It kills me to say that because I've always been a WWF/WWE apologist and mark.



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