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7.26.2008

Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown

So last night we found out who the number one contender for Triple H's WWE Championship is, and we also found out what the main event of SummerSlam will be. Not bad for one night's work.

It's no big secret to anyone who has consistently read my "SmackDown!" articles that I more than often review the shows favorably. This isn't done to blatantly pander, or because I'm drunk, but rather, because "SmackDown!" may be the brand that is best at always using its immediate resources and finding ways to make them work for it.

With that having been said, I'll bring up MVP's VIP Lounge, which kicked off the show if you disregard the eight minute recap of last week's transpiring. Jeff Hardy on the mic is usually never a good thing, and consequently, I liked the fact that MVP controlled the flow of the entire segment. He did most of the talking, while Jeff only said a sentence here or there. Jeff's over enough where he should talk as little as possible; kudos to creative for realizing this.

I'm surprised that MVP got away with saying some of the things he did though. Referencing Hardy's TNA moniker of "Tha Charismatic Enigma", which I don't think anyone in WWE has ever done, as well as mentioning all the recent misfortunes of Cameron's favorite son. I suppose this is an additional punishment towards Jeff, but regardless, there was obvious heat being built between the two superstars. I smell a feud.

Shelton Benjamin has never been accused of being terrific on the mic, but last night he cut a very solid heel promo. As I said before, I believe that he can be a solid foundation on which to build a strong midcard, and I think Jimmy Wang Yang, who is over like a motherfucker, can also lend a great deal to the midcard on Friday nights. Maybe it seems like I routinely delve into the midcard issue too deeply, but keep in mind, at this point last year, "SmackDown!" had no midcard, so it is a pertinent issue that deserves the attention I've given it.

Jesse and Festus' gimmick is, by a landslide, my favorite on Friday nights. I pop every time I hear "Biscuits And Gravy", and with good reason; these two can work. It seems my wish to see these two teams have a storyline will come to fruition. While I'm happy about that, I would like to urge WWE to, while these two teams are feuding over the belts, bring up more tag teams, because it's still a very weak division.

I've officially become bored of Vladimir Kozlov, so all I'm going to say is that his entrance music (which I said over and over he shouldn't have!) sounds like Cade and Murdoch's old music if you replaced the violin twangs with the sound of a man grunting.

Next we were treated to a Battle Royal to determine who would face Triple H at SummerSlam. The match was nice and had some solid spots, but I'm utterly baffled as to why The Great Khali won. Khali is not a draw, he's obviously not going to go over, and Triple H is already established so it does nothing for him or his credibility to beat Khali. The only other explanation I can think of is that they wanted the match to be heel vs. face.

Umaga is being built back up as a monster, so you can't have him job out to Triple H (at least not this early), and MVP seems to be headed towards a feud with Hardy. Even so, I'd still have MVP win this, I'd much rather see him than Khali in that spot. And hey, Skidmark Singh, *in best Apu voice* thank you for coming again!

I said last week that the Divas Championship was made for Nattie. Want proof? The fucking thing was falling off of Michelle McCool last night. Worry not, Nattie marks, she'll be holding that belt very soon, I'm sure of it.

Brian Kendrick is getting a push, and that's nice, because he deserves it. However, I still hate the lukewarm heel turn. He comes out one week and is put over as a heel by the commentators, but nobody really knows why. There was still very little explanation this week, and although Kendrick cut a good promo, there was still no real heat to make this turn work. I'm sure he'll grow into a full fledged, hated heel as time goes on, but I wish that instead of giving him a new coat and putting "The" in front of his name, that he would have done something more heel-ish. Like, say, after he got drafted, appearing on "Raw" one last time to fuck London's shit up.

Ron Killings is probably not ever going to be referred to by that name ever in WWE simply because WWE wants words like "kill" as far away from their program as possible after the Benoit tragedy. From his promo, it looks like he's going to be a face. Quite honestly, I'm not sure if I want him as a face or as a heel. I suppose it depends on where he's used in the card.

Throughout the night, it was being played up that Vickie Guerrero was distraught over Edge's lack of fidelity (insert Regina Spektor joke here...something about it breaking Vickie's heart). I O'd for the line Bam Neely had-"Edge said he wanted to apologize to you...or that he wanted you to apologize to him. I don't remember, I got it mixed up." Either they're really building him as a dumb lummox, or he was supposed to be a shit disturber. Either way, I popped for that.

Of course, the big payoff was Vickie announcing that she had reinstated The Undertaker. Undertaker, ironically, got the biggest pop of the night and didn't even appear. And so now Edge and Undertaker will square off inside Hell In A Cell at SummerSlam, a match which should be the main event. And given the craptacular WWE Championship match forthcoming, and the fact that CM Punk is still World Heavyweight Champion, it probably will be.

Tha Results:
*Shelton Benjamin def. Jimmy Wang Yang
*Festus def. Curt Hawkins
*Vladimir Kozlov def. Stevie Richards
*The Great Khali def. Big Show, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga and MVP to become Number One Contender for WWE Championship
*Michelle McCool def. Maryse
*The Brian Kendrick def. Shannon Moore


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