Tha Raw Report: This Fire Burns

WWE’s creative team has long been considered out of touch, be it dated or apathetic, the accusations seem to stretch on and on with no stop in sight. With both One Night Stand and now Night of Champions far surpassing their minimal expectations could the WWE be on the right track? Finally?

The WWE shocked many by having neither of their two paramount championships change hands at Night of Champions. That move was praised and castigated. Why didn’t CM Punk cash in his shot at the gold? Why did Triple H and Edge both go over? Both those questions were answered tonight, and quickly.

CM Punk became the NEW World Heavyweight Champion in the first segment of the broadcast and the reaction was far from apathetic. Frenetic is more like it.


Good Ol’ JR got to give his farewell address tonight, and while it set up the title change quite nicely it did absolutely nothing for Michael Cole. Poor Michael Cole was mercilessly booed as the old Oklahoman tried to win him the popular vote. What continues to dig in my side though is the fact that Vince McMahon will not allow Jim Ross to take a breath without being on the ass-end of a joke.

I know JR may be nothing to Donnie, but Elvis was nothing to Chuck D and I don’t think that swayed too many opinions. Sure JR has slipped quite a bit in the last four or five years, but the man called nearly every moment that made a damn from the Attitude Era forward. He’s no Gordon Solie, but he far surpasses the Michael Cole’s and Mike Adamle’s of the world.

I won’t dwell on negativity, because as a whole I absolutely loved what the WWE did with “Raw” this week. Edge getting in some shoot stuff on JR was nice, you know, “Put that in your blog BBQ boy.” At least there was no retarded beat down, because it isn’t like we haven’t seen enough of those.

On the subject of Edge I will say this, it does bother me that he can’t hold a world title longer than three months and two weeks. That is his longest reign to date, and dammit he’s had five. This isn’t the Attitude Era, three weeks as Champion aint what it used to be. Sure when all is said and done he’ll be a double digit World Champ, but it’d be nice for him to get a reign spanning six or seven months at least.

With Batista getting his last word in on Edge we can look for Batista to move on to a new feud. Let’s hope that it isn’t with John Cena because that would be quite simply an abomination. There is strong talk backstage of turning Batista heel, murmurs of a New Evolution with he and Orton have swirled around quite a bit, so we may just see that after all.

The Jamaican Jumping Bean Kofi Kingston won the WWE Intercontinental Championship at Night of Champions with the help of Shawn Michaels, and tonight he retained on the most retarded DQ I have ever seen. There is usually a five count to all people to break something, but not tonight my friends. We saw asscrack and Chioda rang the bell.

I’m quite curious to see where Lance Cade and Chris Jericho go, the two of them together make an interesting combination, and while some aren’t entertained by Jericho this time around, he plays the heel as good as most, and better than quite a few. Cade will get a nice rub from this, and maybe even a little gold.

Speaking of gold the combination of Simply Priceless Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes was quite impressive. While Cody’s post match promo wasn’t exactly a Dusty-level promo it is no mystery that he is the rotund ones son. He did a nice job, and he definitely put over himself and Dibiase as heels, yet another storyline that has sparked the interest of several.

Jamie Noble is one entertaining little man. His promos are always entertaining, and he even made Chuck Palumbo interesting, for a second some months ago. His encounter with Kane proves that he can elicit emotion, no matter what emotion that might be. I do think that the E should call up Dan-e-o and reform the MIA. Midgets in Action, hell Hornswaggle could be their manager.

The WWE Women’s Championship needed to be moved last week. It is underutilized on “Raw” and when it is used, it usually isn’t at the best time. I appreciate the work of Mickie and Jillian, as well as Katie Lea and Beth Phoenix. Melina will be gone for sometime and the most bountiful female roster lies on Friday nights.

Move Mickie, Katie Lea, Beth and Jillian to “SmackDown” where the title can have more TV time and more meaning. On “SmackDown” they have six woman tag team matches almost weekly with nearly no purpose, now put that championship over there and you have a purpose. Not to mention the fact that Nattie Neidhart is on her way to become the Diva Champion. Skip the cost of the new belt and push the other divas in that direction.

It just wouldn’t be “Raw” without Santino Marella folks. While he was on the business end of another beat down this week, he still managed to entertain the masses. Anyone who hides behind a mask must be ugly, stupid or Batman. You can’t find that kind of entertainment anywhere else. The question remains though, how far are we from Mastrio’s return to the ring? I think that Rey and Santino could be quite the show stealer when and if it happens.

Now to the sad part, it really wouldn’t be “Raw” without John Cena. Told you it was sad. JBL’s personal security team, now dubbed the Protectors of the Potbelly escorted Mr. Cena out of the ring, thank God. In CM Punk’s first defense of the World Heavyweight Championship he would defend it against the very man responsible for Cena leaving, JBL.

I almost expected JBL to go over in the match. It wouldn’t have shocked me to see CM Punk win the title only to get it on “Raw” and then lose it in very quick fashion. I was pleasantly surprised when he hit his second GTS of the evening and completed his first defense right before the show went off the air.

The match, though rushed wasn’t a bad match. The finish wasn’t bad, in the ring, but what confused me was how John Cena and his new partners in Cryme, Cryme Tyme came out to disrupt the Security force of JBL and distract JBL allowing CM Punk to get the win.

Now we get to hear John Cena sing the praises of CM Punk only to challenge him to a match for the World Heavyweight Championship at the Great American Bash. Then though Batista will say that he won it for Punk and we have Punk’s next defense set up and Batista and Cena stay squarely in the spotlight keeping the writers happy, and the smarks happy with their champion in the mix.

DJB’s What to Watch:
First Segment (post Shane)
Mickie vs. Jillian >
Rey Mastrio/Santino segment
First segment highlights >>
CM Punk Interview
Dibiase Rhodes vs. Darren Wayne & Steve Anthony>>
Cody Rhodes/Dibiase Promo
Paul Burchill/Katie Lea/Jamie Noble Kane backstage segment
Kane & Jamie Noble>
Jericho vs. Kingston>
Edge bitchslapping Hawkins & Ryder
CM Punk vs. JBL

Tha Results…
*CM Punk def. Edge to become the new World Heavyweight Champion
*Mickie James def. Jillian
*Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase def. Wayne & Anthony
*Kofi Kingston def. Chris Jericho via DQ to retain Intercontinental Championship
*CM Punk def. JBL to retain World Heavyweight Championship

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