Great Great American Bash

Okay, so the predictability had been more or less wiped away in WWE programming, and that made it good. There's step one. Step two was to make sure that in the wake of shaking things up, that everything still made sense. WWE did a very fine job of that last night at The Great American Bash.

The night wasn't perfect, and there are a few nits that I am going to pick throughout my review, but don't let that set the mood for this piece; I thought, by and large, this was a damn solid show, even though Kofi Kingston was not on it (the brother got held off the card...I'm just saying).

The Fatal Four Way for the Tag Team Championships opened up the card. I incorrectly predicted that John Morrison and The Miz would retain their titles, but as bummed as I am about missing the mark, I am at least glad that those belts have been set up perfectly for a feud.

Jesse and Festus have had several matches with Hawkins and Ryder in the past, so it's not like these two teams will be strangers when they meet again for the belts. Not to mention, Jesse was the man pinned in the match, so Hawkins and Ryder can always garner some extra heel heat by playing the "we've pinned you before" card. I'd like to see a nice, long feud between these two teams on Friday nights.

Shelton Benjamin continued the trend of bringing belts back to their original show when he pinned Matt Hardy for the United States Championship. As hard as people (mostly white people...I'm just saying) have been on Shelton Benjamin lately, I think he did a great job in the match last night, and I believe that he is another wrestler who has the credibility necessary to bolster the midcard of "SmackDown!".

Mark Henry defeated Tommy Dreamer last night, although not without an assist from Colin Delaney. Henry's made a very entertaining champion (unless you ask certain white people...again, I'm just saying), and I O'd for Tony Atlas shouting "How does that feel, Tommy Dreamer?" after Dreamer got leveled by a Henry clothesline. A Delaney/Dreamer feud seems to be in the works now; that should provide some O-worthy bumps.

Speaking of O-worthy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho had another great wrestling encounter last night. As predicted by myself, Andrew Gray and DJB, Jericho did go over after teeing off on Michaels' eye for a good 5-10 minutes. Obviously, this was more about telling a story than showcasing high spots, and this match will serve as a springboard for a bigger payoff at a future pay-per-view. While this was done in a compelling way, I do have to voice my dissent on one thing.

A detached retina? Really? I have to believe that WWE creative didn't think this one through. How are you going to plausibly explain to WWE fans that Michaels is perfectly healthy only a month or two after having his retina completely detached from his skull?

Michelle McCool went over on Natalya for the Divas Championship in a match that featured a lot of submissions, and not just from Natalya, surprisingly. Michelle used a Brazilian Heel Hook to get a submission victory and win what is officially the ugliest belt in professional wrestling. I will say, though, that for as short as this match was, I like what I saw. Michelle has improved greatly since entering WWE, and they seemingly gave her credit for it last night by crowning her the first Divas Champion.

CM Punk's match ended up being higher in the card than most anticipated, but it was still about as disappointing as many had hoped. The rumors were that Vince was really high on Punk, but I'm not so sure that's really the case. Punk wasn't made to look like an underdog champion, he was just made to look weak last night. The match ended with Kane coming down and attacking both men.

It makes sense since Kane's been acting deranged lately, so of course he would do something like attack both men, but couldn't you have waited until after the match? It wouldn't have changed anything else that happened in this match had Punk hit the GTS and gotten the pin before Kane came down and went berserk, so why not? If you really think that this guy is main event caliber, then do something to make him seem legit. That was not it.

Everybody knows that John Cena can't wrestle. So why not put him in a match that involves no wrestling whatsoever? I actually enjoyed the match between John Cena and JBL last night. JBL lighting the car on fire was an O for sure. What was an even bigger O was JBL coming out of nowhere and getting the win. This win is largely overdue for JBL, as I believe it is the first time he has gone over on John Cena on pay-per-view.

But, of course, after being inside of a car that was lit on fire, and being thrown off the stage and thrown through the windshield of another car, what does Cena do? Walk the fuck away like nothing had happened. This was, hands down, the no-sell of the year. JBL won and was carried off by two officials. Cena lost and walked away like nothing was wrong.

Triple H and Edge squared off in the main event. It was a great back and forth encounter, as was put over by JR and Mick Foley throughout the match. Terms like "human chess" were used aptly, as two mat greats put on a damn solid main event. I do wish the match would have been a little longer, and I really wish the finish wasn't as overbooked as it was. The run-ins were confusing and unnecessary, even in light of what transpired last Friday night. Let these two guys go, they can deliver without run-ins.

The one thing I found interesting was the text messaging poll they held last night, in which they asked who fans sympathized with more. To me, it smacked of "who should we turn face", which made it very interesting that more people said Edge. I'm intrigued, I'd have thought WWE would have rigged that so Vickie would ultimately turn face, leading to Undertaker's return, but obviously I'm either off or I got kayfabed. Either way, should be interesting to see where they go with this.

As I said, I felt overall that The Great American Bash was a great show. A few things could have been better here and there, but it was well worth the $39.95 US or Canadian, home of the color coded bills (but no black colored bills...I'm just saying)

Tha Results:
*Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder def. Jesse & Festus, Finlay & Hornswoggle, and John Morrison & The Miz to win WWE Tag Team Championships
*Shelton Benjamin def. Matt Hardy to win United States Championship
*Mark Henry def. Tommy Dreamer to retain ECW Championship
*Chris Jericho def. Shawn Michaels
*Michelle McCool def. Natalya to win Divas Championship
*CM Punk vs. Batista-Double Disqualification
*JBL def. John Cena
*Triple H def. Edge to retain WWE Championship

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