Cyber Sunday: Marks VS. Smarks

"DAMN!" That's all Ron Simmons had to come out and say to be funnier than John Cena on "Raw" last night. That's all I'm going to say about Cena in this article. Promise.

Here's another "What is wrong with this world?" thought. Kevin Federline will sell more records than Dan-e-o. Sigh. It's "balderdash"! (King Booker rules).

Gotta say though, I envy the guy. I'd love to be in his position right now. A legitimate heel with two straight appearances on "Raw". And he hasn't done a half-bad job either. He hasn't really stumbled on the mic and seems to really understand the psychology of heat-seeking...using the "never fails" technique of trashing the hometown sports team...in this case, the Chicago Cubs.

Man, if I could stand in a WWE ring with a mic just once...

Anyway, Cyber Sunday is a pay-per-view that literally not only pits WWE Superstars against each other but wrestling fans are competing against each other as well. There is still widespread skepticism, however, that the entire event is a work and that WWE already knows who will be participating in each match and to what capacity. But going on the notion, that we as fans actually DO have a say in the matter...the REAL match-up as it relates to Cyber Sunday is the Marks VS. the Smarks.

Let's face it. A so-called "smark" is someone who actually understands the business and is mainly concerned with being entertained. For example, if you ask me, no REAL fan would select King Booker's World Heavyweight Championship to be on the line at the upcoming PPV, as it is in our best interests to have him remain the champ. He is easily, the most entertaining...and dammit, most skilled wrestler among the three superstars involved in the match.

A "mark" on the other hand, would likely have Booker put his title on the line since he's a "bad guy" - in hopes that a certain WWE Champion, who will remain nameless, will snatch up the World title.

Let's look at the rest of the "choices" given us and determine how markified this event may be.

DX VS. Edge and Orton: Now, considering that all three options for guest referee are considered heels in Eric Bischoff, Jonathan Coachman and Vince McMahon, it's hard to say what the "mark" choice would be. In hopes that I can at least be considered a smark, however, I'd have to go with Vinnie Mac.

Mr. Mahon is aruably the most entertaining character in all of the WWE. I still can't get over the shot of his bloody face elevating above the ring apron with a look of pure evil during his bout with Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania XIX. McMahon still hasn't taken revenge for his beatdown at Unforgiven at the hands of DX, so it makes both the most logical...and entertaining choice. Coach and Bischoff would simply get their asses handed to them with no repercussion if they were involved. Having the boss in the ring makes the match all the more interesting.

The Umaga match: Now, in my opinion, the smark choice has GOT to be Sandman. Yet to appear in an official WWE pay-per-view, Sandman would be the most interesting opponent for Umaga. Not only can he obviously take bumps like no one's business, Sandman taking on Umaga would provide fans with a match we would otherwise NEVER see...and probably would never see again.

A loser-ass mark would choose Kane - insisting that he deserves a chance at revenge since being booted off of "Raw" at the hands of Umaga. No match would be more boring.

The Jeff Hardy match: Who would you most like to see as Intercontinental Champion? Perhaps, that's the mark's question. Who would put on the best match? That's what I'm asking. Although it's become boring to see Shelton Benjamin stuck in the mid-card, having him in the match wouldn't necessarily mean that he'd win the gold. I just think he'd have the best match with Hardy. Another Regal/Benoit affair (okay, nowhere near that good...but you know what I mean).

Ric Flair's match: Okay, it's stupid to have Flair and some other old-timer vie for the Tag Titles anyway. This is a mark's match altogether. But who would you most like to see as his partner?

Okay, honestly this question isn't really worth asking 'cause this match is going to be brutal. But, I'm going with the Hot Rod. Easily my favourite out of the choices between himself, Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper has always been a ball of fire. Comparing him to the other choices, any "smark" can figure out that the most fun would be had in having him be involved.

Although not all of the matches have been announced yet, I'm hoping that the smarks win out over the marks and salvage what would otherwise be a kind of useless pay-per-view.

Agree? Disagree? Agree to disagree? Mark or smark? You tell me.

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