So what did the "new" ECW accomplish last night during its inaugural episode?They failed in their attempt to recreate the infamous Kimona Wanalaya striptease/towel dance with an OVW girl named Bobbie Blank. Seeing as how Blank was at a loss for how to undo her bra, much less how to dance in any type of enticing manner (I work at a strip club, folks... I see plenty of girls who can and can't dance every night and that girl was very attractive but not a great dancer.) ranked her around middle of the pack of WWE's typically pointless female characters.
They had a vampire standing out front of the building to prove they were on the SciFi Network. David Boreanas will probably be brought in to manage. Too bad Blade is on Spike TV. He could kill the whole angle before it gets off the ground.
They made their champion look stupid on his first night as champ by having a guy from another show leave him laying in the ring. They put over TWO guys from that other show, in fact.
They gave us a "weapons battle royal" because they're trying to force that one single aspect of what they think ECW is down our collective throats. Just hire New Jack, for christ's sake. It's much more fun when he does the whole shopping cart full of weapons gimmick that it is to watch these WWE-style weapons matches which always end up reminding me of poorly-booked indy matches in the back of suburban Pittsburgh shopping malls. (That's my way of saying I was once in a really shitty weapons match in 1999 and realized afterwards that I should leave that stuff to people better than I.)
Oh and they gave us one thing I did like. They gave us a zombie. The Zombie was fantastic and I hope we get to see much more of him. In fact, I hope that its the start of a whole army of Zombies. I envision the one we saw last night as being named Zombie Zombie. Then we could get a native American one named Dances With Zombies and huge one named Big Dick Zombie. How about a mute one with a placard that says "BRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSS"? We could call him Sign Guy Zombie. And Buh Buh Ray Zombie. And D-Von Zombie. And even Little Spike Zombie. Eventually, they'll get too popular and there'll be a contract dispute and they'll all end up in TNA after renaming themselves Team UnDead or something.
So in the end, what did they accomplish? A 2.8 rating, that's what. A 2.8, which is almost THREE TIMES the average rating that TNA pulls in. And the show was crap.
Think of what they'll accomplish if they pull their heads out of their asses and put something decent on the air.
6 comments: on "Kingdom's Column: Examining ECW"
Haha
Funny shit!
Kingdom, I knew adding you to Tha Show would pay off - but a brilliant piece in your first attempt! Well done bro!
dude right now as it stands if mcmahon dosent keep his hands out of ecw, it will not be long for this world..........
I am dissapointed.
As a long time ECW fan and a bacyard wrestler i am definately Dissapinted in the producct produced for sci fi
i was looking for blood and didnt see a lot, Did the sandman even bust himself open lol?
The show was not good, I'll give it that. It did nothing to seperate itself from Raw or Smackdown and that hurt it. There was a lot of bad booking.
However, I still remain optomistic. This is the first episode where, save for the opening segment, they tried to build the show around ECW talent. It's just the beggining, in the beggining WWE didn't look good, WCW didn't look good, TNA didn't look good, even the original ECW didn't look good in it's starting days.
They're still trying to figure themselves out. I think once they do that, they'll have a good show on their hands.
Regarding the Zombie, when I heard about it I groaned thinking "Here they go already trying to make good with Sci-Fi" but since it wasn't really a match and he got the piss caned out of him, I'll let it go.
I will agree with this article. The PPV suprised me as to how much I liked it, but the show was down right HORRIBLE!!!
They are trying to re-create a once brilliant product, but at the same time, also trying to please (all at the same time I might add) Sci-Fi fans and reps, USA reps, and of coarse the WWE booking and Vince himself.... thus it is not the ECW that everyone used to love, just another branch of WWE products that uses the ECW as a tag.
Now it has all the potential to regain that once proud status, but aside from working around the reps and censors, they need to rebuild the heat and angles....
To the ECW fans, we all know and remember but that was 5 years ago. To the WWE fans, they remember the half-assed attempts by WWE and WCW when taking some of these guys and just retrying the gimmicks they had, only to have them fail because they weren't made for the Monday Night atmosphere.
Prime example here would be Justin Credible. They jobbed the hell out of him. I want the badass, steal the Great Sasuke's mask, dethrone the Sandman and steal his can, tombstoning Beulliah, enterouge(sp) included, 1 of the best matches on the night versus Jerry Lynn, Justin Credible.... BUT they just made him seem like that small bald guy that Ballz practically killed.
If they want it to succeed and become remotely close, they need to do just like you said at the end of you article. So I fully agree
Post a Comment