Tha iMPACT! Playback

Abyssamania! has come to TNA!
I’m not sure who messes up lines more Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan. It’s a comedy routine sometimes just watching these guys trying to recover from their slip ups.
Did you see how Hogan towered over AJ Styles when they stood toe to toe? AJ and Ric seem a lil unsure about their tag match against Hulk and Abyss.

The iMPACT! Zone starts off with AJ and Flair coming to the ring and offering a present to Hulk Hogan which turns into promo for their match on Monday March 8th. Whatchaya gonna do when TNA moves to Mondays? Brother…

Wolfe cuts a horrible promo complete with JB’s arm cutting in the shot from one side. Where did they get the donuthead with Wolfe? Chelsea was it? Does that chic know how to spell hall of fame?

Eric Bischoff sets a four corners match for the main event tonight in the iMPACT! Zone. AJ Styles vs. Abyss vs. Desmond Wolfe vs Deangelo “The Pope” Dinero for the TNA World Championship.

Bischoff takes another cheap shot at McMahon talking about a football franchise on the phone. Fail. Jeff Jarrett gets janitor duties from Eric Bishoff. How low can you go?

Four Way Tag Team Match
Generation Me vs. .Motor City Machine Guns vs. .Beer Money vs. Hernandez & Matt Morgan

The MCMG’s and Gen Me started this one off full of action and I totally expected this match to go longer than it did. Some how Beer Money got the surprise win while Morgan was distracted from arguing with Super Mex. I smell a Super Print title loss leading to a feud very soon. Should be a good one. Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

Bischoff continues to push Double J. He got dude mopping the john floor and scrubbing toilets for Pete’s sake.

Hulk and Angle talk in the back, where Kurt is kissing ass. Since Hogan’s “take over” I feel more like Eric Bischoff is running the show and Hogan’s just the lead talent.

Mick Foley is at Etiquette School lookin like Fred Flintstone with his no etiquette ass.I’m surprised no one noticed my spelling error last week. Mick walks like an ape?

Falls Count Anywhere: Sean Morley vs. Jeff Jarrett

Morley surprise attacks Jarrett in the washroom, that’s washroom Taz not bathroom. Sean goes in on Jeff in this falls count anywhere match. Jeff doesn’t even realize what's going down until the ref mentions it. Double J gets pinned while wearing yellow plastic gloves. That’s gotta be a first.

The Pope kills me talkin’ bout he’s gonna reach back to the 80’s to bitch slap Ric Flair. Classic

Global Championship Match: Big Rob Terry vs. Doug Williams

The British Invasion is done as we know it? Rob should have the Global and X Division straps. Not bad for a guy who’s been in the background for a while. Big Rob destroys Doug Williams in this match displaying his strength.Magnus rushes the ring and attacks Rob, of course. They double team him. So much for the World Elite.
Who?

EB keeps toying with Jarrett and gives him another match for tonight. See ya out there Jeff! Eric is really starting to creep me out cuz his demeanor reminds me of an old friend of mine and with the grey and white hair they actually look alike now. Shout out to Ron!

More of Foley at school…to do it quick eat like Mick. This whole damn schick made me sick.

Angle-Anderson recap via video package Out comes Anderson posing as Angle and dressed like him. Ya had to love the giant dog tag with loser written on it. O of the night for sure
Anderson slayed me – Kurt Angle breakin his neck while takin a dump. LMWAO.
Troop stuff aside. It drew some good heat tho'.

As I said Ken got the ball right now and he is running hard.
You must applaud the guys takin it to another level in the new era. The guys like AJ Styles, Anderson and Pope. Angle finally rushes the ring and attacks Ken. Anderson turns it around and delivers an Angle Slam on Kurt. Anderson takes the warrior medal off Angle’s neck. I like this feud, it should make for some great wrestling.

Abyss gets crazier, if that was even possible. Why does everyone not want Hogan to get in the ring fight Flair and Styles? Are they afraid Hogan may pop his hip out again like in Australia? Abyss breaks down. This whole segment was cheesy at best. Hogan’s tombstone better be shaped like a ring damn it.

Ah the Beautiful People finally return to TNA TV. Thank the lord above. Angelina rushed the BE at a photo shoot. Velvet actually threw a man who like he had to be over 200 lbs. during the farce, then she snaps on Lacie. Odd. Beautiful People and Angelina I still love you!

Something is amiss when its 1 hr and 15 minutes into the show and there have only been three matches.

Angelina storms the ring and calls out Velvet Sky. Sky comes out pretty in pink and gets an ass whoopin from Angelina. Von Erich and Rayne sneak up and turn it into a three on one, whipping Angelina while Lacie and Velvet hold her down. The BE pose over the founder after the attack. Did this count as a match?

Bubba’s back, guess I was wrong about him being done with TNA. We all know Kong’s gone. Fail.Anyway the Bigot Sponge tries to convince Hulk not to wrestle due to his frailness from getting beatin up so many times. Who wants to be a wrestler?
Bubba even calls Hogan Terry. Now that’s one I’ve never seen calling Hogan by his real name while in kayfabe. Or is that considered breaking kayfabe?

Tomko vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff comes out with no music. Tomko goes hard on Double J from Jump Street. Jeff finally turns things around for a hot minute but Tomko brings that to a quick halt. They go back and forth till Jeff catches Tomko in a roll up to get the win.
Tomko is still looking outta shape. Get it together there pal. You just got beat by the janitor.

Now EB is in the back trying to convince Double H Hulk Hogan not to wrestle on Monday. Is this Hogan Knows Best? More fights less talk please fellas and especially the beating a dead horse repetition needs to stop.

Main Event : Four Corners Match for the TNA Championship
Desmond Wolfe vs. The Pope Deangelo Deniro vs. Abyss vs. AJ Styles

AJ comes out in his Ric Flairesque robe, feathers and all. Everyone goes in on Styles, rightfully so. Wolfe and Abyss took the fight outside the ring. Things got confusing with the commercial interruptions and the way TNA cuts back for ten seconds an goes back to commercial. Very wack. The match becomes Styles and Pope one on one.

Flair cracks Pope with a steel chair behind the refs back. Right on Popes injured ankle. Styles gets Pope into a Figure Four right in the middle of the ring. Pope doesn’t tap but the ref rings the bell.

Suddenly Wolfe and Abyss return. Abyss goes nuts. Flair grabs the barbed wire baseball bat and attacks Abyss. The Hulk comes to save Abyss and Hogan gets Flair’s blood flowing by attacking him with the barbed wire bat. No one bleeds like Ric. Hardcore Hogan.
Double H gets it in on Dic Flair. No Homo

Security rushes the ring. Don’t they work for Hogan? Why would they try to stop it when he is kickin some tail but when he was getting busted open last week security didn’t do diddly.

It’s always funny how they use the security angle in wrestling as if it’s real all of a sudden. Like when they bring in the police to arrest a wrestler on the show. In that case everyone’s catching assault charges.

Saddle up. Four days. This Monday Night Live on Spike TV! TNA makes the move to go head to head against WWE RAW. And ya’ll told me to chill that there was no Monday night war yet. Well here it is, this Monday the war begins.

Will TNA go live every week? Can they? Can they keep up? I think it may take some time for this to actually heat up and be anywhere close to a war. I ain’t mad at TNA for trying and takin a shot even if it may be premature. We’ll see.

Samoa Joe is still missing since being abducted. Someone call the FBI. Sting is MIA as well. Apparently Nash & Young will be in the Zone this Monday to address Hall and Pac. Does anyone care? PS…They just beat you guys up on your own show.
I’m surprised ol Hall and Crack Pac, I mean Sixx Pac didn’t show up this week after there successful street fight last week. Did I say successful? 4 life…..

iMPACT! was weak at best this week. Hope the man dem can turn up the heat when they go live this Monday. And I mean more than putting Hogan and Flair in a ring on television.It’s gonna take a lot more than that to compete with RAW.

What surprises does TNA and Hogan have in store for its debut head to head with RAW this Monday? Will RVD debut in TNA? Will Jeff Hardy come back? What about Sting? Will Sting make his return to the iMPACT! Zone?

Tune in this Monday as TNA moves to Monday nights starting at 9pm. TNA will get the jump on RAW in Canada as RAW starts at 9:15 due to the delay.

Cross the line!

Tha Results

Beer Money def.Generation Me vs.Motor City Machine Guns vs.Beer Money vs Hernadez & Matt Morgan
Sean Morley def. Jeff Jarrett
Big Rob Terry def. Brutus Magnus
Jeff Jarrett def. Tomko
AJ Styles def. Abyss, Desmond Wolfe & Deangelo “The Pope” Deniro

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