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Tha Final ECW On SyFy Recap

I would say "all good things must come to an end" but not all things about ECW on SyFy have been good. Then again not all things have been bad either - particuarly since Christian joined the brand and became it's champion. Still it's time to put WWECW to bed and as J.R. says in every introduction THE ENTIRE WORLD IS WATCHIN'.

Of course the opening voiceover and video package tries to tie WWECW to ECW with clips of Rob Van Dam and claims of 20 years of history, but don't be fooled. The original ECW died a long time ago, it's only the new version that dies tonight.

Josh Mathews and Byron Saxton join us from the commentary position, and they're already plugging NXT, saying tonight we'll get to meet the cast of the new show, where 8 pros will mentor 8 rookies in the WWE Universe. Savannah tells us it's time for our WWE Unified Tag Title Championship match!

* The Miz Show {C} v. Goldust & Yoshi Tatsu (Unified Tag Team Title Match)

The champions enter and we see highlights of them winning the three-way elimination against both Punk & Gallows and the then-champions DX on Raw eight days ago. Dustin and Yoshi make their entrance to the latter's bouncy J-pop music and the ref holds up the titles before calling for the bell. Goldie and Miz start the match off.

Miz backs him into the corner early and slaps him, Goldie shoves him off hard and Miz looks stunned. Goldie hits a shoulder tackle for a near fall then tags Yoshi for a double team after an atomic drop. Yoshi hits a couple of flying crossbodies and ducks a clothesline. Miz tries to throw him out but Yoshi rebounds in to schoolboy him for a near fall then tags Goldie back in. Dustin knocks him down with his butt for a near fall.

Miz is weary and goes outside the ring for a breather. Dust chases him all the way outside yelling "get back in here" and he does on the heel side, blind tagging Show in the process. While Dustin is distracted Show hits a headbutt from behind to get the heat and we go to commercial.

Miz has Dustin in a tight chinlock when we come back, but Goldie jacks his jaw and then kicks him away with double boots. Miz quickly tags Show, while Dust crawls to Yoshi for a tag. Yoshi is all over him with kicks at first but then eats and sells a couple of frying pan hand chops. Show LITERALLY walks all over him and hits a big headbutt. After beating him down for a minute, Show tags Miz back in, who gets warned by the ref for holding the ropes while in a hold.

Yoshi tries to fight Miz off so Miz spears him into the heel corner, where Show uses his partner as a battering ram straight to Yoshi's gut. The heels keep cutting off the ring as the crowd gets angrier at the heels and chants YO-SHI louder for the faces. Miz mocks Yoshi before eating an upkick to the nose and a series of punches, followed by a roaring elbow that leaves both down crawling.

Miz tries to prevent Yoshi from making the tag by grabbing a leg, but Goldie gets it anyway and is a house of fire. Show and Yoshi keep each other busy as Goldie goes for a near fall, Show finally throws Yoshi out then punches Goldie in the gut when he's up on the top rope. When he falls down he's easy pickings for Miz to hook the leg and get the win - the new hottest tag team in WWE retains their gold. WINNERS: THE MIZ SHOW, SHOW-MIZ, or whatever else you like. Saxton and Mathews throw us to the NXT preview.

Chris Jericho will mentor Wade Barrett, "a bare knuckle fighter from England." Matt Hardy will mentor Justin Gabriel "from Cape Town, South Africa." Mathews says we'll meet the other six stars later on. First we go backstage to Tiffany. "As one era closes a new exciting one is about to begin - WWE, N-X-T."

Zack Ryder interrupts. Zack: "Wouldn't it be more appropriate for the heart and soul superhero of ECW to be in the main event?" Tiffany: "No." Rosa Mendes yells at her in Spanish. Tiffany: "I don't care what language it's in, the answer is still no." Zack: "That's fine because the match is Extreme Rules anyway, so if I want to make my presence felt I WILL. Woo, woo, woo, you know it." Commercial.

We get a plug that "the season begins" next Tuesday when we come back from break. MVP will mentor Skip Sheffield from Texas. Before we can find out who another NXT superstar is, it's time for the Abe Washington show, thankfully for the LAST time. This time they've set up the couches and tables in the ring instead of on the ramp. Washington says "thank you" ten times just to get a little heat, but as usual his "applause" on the Titantron gets more. He thanks St. Louis and Tony Atlas starts laughing. "Oh I'm sorry, I mean Kansas City. I apologize.

I only remember the important cities." The most appropriate sign in WWECW history is held up in the crowd behind him: HEY ABE GOOD RIDDANCE. I hope that fan doesn't put his sign down for this entire segment. Washington reminds us to tune in for NXT next week and says he went to Vince McMahon himself to get a really big guest for his final episode - the biggest ever. The joke is of course that Abe introduces HIMSELF. This is negative buys to the millionth degree.

A Shelton Benjamin interruption has NEVER been more over than this one. Abe tells "Goldilocks" to get lost. Benjamin: "First of all, you better check your tone. Second of all, I heard you. Let's face it - this show is basically unwatchable when you HAVE a guest, so what makes you think anybody wants to watch it when the guest is YOU?" Benjamin says that now that everybody's a free agent, he plans to take his experience and... and Vance Archer's music interrupts. Abe gets between the two of them. "Take it easy guys! I've got one week left on my furniture deposit before I get it back, so don't mess my stuff up."

Archer tells him not to worry, he just came out to tell Benjamin he's got no future if they end up on the same show. GAMER GEEKS INTERRUPT. They say nobody cares about this boring crap, they only care which show the 2010 Slammy-to-Be team will go. BAD VLAD INTERRUPTS. He cuts a promo in Russian wearing his Sambo gear and the crowd chants WHAT?! Archer: "Nobody can understand you Koslov!" He shoves him. Kozzie shoves him back. He and Benjamin clean house, smile and exchange a handshake. Benjamin raises his hand and the crowd applauds.

Another NXT preview Carlito will mentor Michael Tarver, who "claims he can knock out any man in 1.9 seconds or less" and apparently his father was a sparring partner of Mike Tyson's. Saxton and Mathews plug Christian v. Ezekiel and we go to break.

After break we learn Miz will mentor Daniel Bryan. BRYAN DANIELSON NEEDS NO MENTOR YOU FUCKTARDS. Tell Miz not to even show up. We go to a promo package for the Elimination Chamber PPV this Sunday. Afterwards we learn Christian will mentor Heath Slater on NXT, described as something of a rock star wannabe.

* Christian Cage {C} v. Ezekiel Jackson (Extreme Rules Title Match)

Christian brings a shopping cart full of plundah down to the ring with him, all filling a big garbage can which will no doubt be used multiple times. The Peeps are certainly happy to see him, and he's the only person left worthy of an E-C-W chant on this show. "It was a year ago this week I debuted on ECW, and most people said when I came back to the WWE that I should have made a bigger impact, that somehow being on ECW was like a demotion. I never looked at it like that. I've been in this business 15 years, and to me ECW feels like home.

ECW gave me the ball, and I ran with it. ECW let me reconnect, and compete against one of my oldest and best friends, Tommy Dreamer. ECW let me mentor young up and coming superstars like Yoshi Tatsu - he has a huge future. And best of all I got to do most of it as ECW Champion, and I stand before all of you MY PEEPS the longest reigning current champion in WWE. Tonight I fight for every ECW Original, who wanted these three letters to mean something.

Tonight I fight for every young superstar in the back trying to find their way." E-C-DUBYA. E-C-DUBYA. "Tonight ECW goes away forever, but I will always be proud that I was part of something great, and proud that I was the very last ECW Champion." The match starts NEXT after this commercial break.

NXT update - CM Punk will mentor Darren Young.

Ezekiel Jackson arrives. Savannah does the big title match introductions. I sure as hell hope this isn't the last time we'll be seeing her! (Angela Fong, you rock.) Peeps pop as she introduces the Toronto, Ontario native.

Bell rings and we're underway with Zeke overpowering him via a test of strength. In an Extreme Rules match, why bother? I'd just go outside and grab a weapon right away. Christian does a baseball slide, slaps Zeke in the face and drags him out. Zeke pulls him out and they fight in front of the announce table.

Zeke throws him back in followed by a cavalcade of weapons. Christian brawls with him on the apron, grabs a kendo stick, and knocks Zeke to the floor. Zack Ryder does a run in to attack Christian but gets dropped on the garbage can in the ring and thrown out LIKE garbage. Rosa slaps him in the face. Tiffany runs out and SPEARS Rosa. Catfight!! Tiffany tries to throw both out as we go to commercial.

Zeke is attempting to pound Christian into the ground in the ring when we return, with Zack and Rosa nowhere in sight. Christian tries to go top rope and Zeke throws him off to the floor, then into the barricade, then he tears apart the ring steps and slams Christian into them with an evil smirk on his face.

He tries to crush Christian with the garbage can on the steps but misses, and Christian dropkicks it into his face! The brawl continues. Zeke unloads the shopping cart and tries to charge Christian with it but misses, so instead he resorts to throwing him INTO it head first and he goes right through.

Clean-up on aisle three! Zeke throws him in the ring for a near fall. Zeke misses with a trash lid, eats it, then gets a high crossbody. He body blocks a garbage can charge and gets another near fall. Regal is directing traffic outside and helps him get a table from under the ring. Christian dropkicks it into their faces and takes it himself!

Zeke throws him onto the flattened table hard for a near fall before Christian can even set it up. Zeke props Christian on the top rope then goes to set up the table in the middle of the ring himself. Superplex through the table? No. Christian blocks it and jumps over the table, then hits Zeke in the gut with a kendo stick. He goes outside hobbling on one leg, chasing Regal all the way up the ramp, then hits Zeke in the knees with the kendo stick back in the ring before a flying elbow off the top connects.

Regal gets back in the ring to interfere but eats a killswitch, before Zeke gives Christian a urinage through the table. WINNER AND FINAL ECW CHAMPION: EZEKIEL JACKSON. Regal congratulates the new champion as we go to a replay of Zeke's triumph. That's it for the last ECW ever! One more time, this is your roster for NXT next Tuesday, with the last name announced being David Otunga mentored by R-Truth:

* Skip Sheffield (mentored by MVP)
* Wade Barrett (mentored by Chris Jericho)
* Justin Gabriel (mentored by Matt Hardy)
* Michael Tarver (mentored by Carlito)
* Daniel Bryan (mentored by The Miz)
* Heath Slater (mentored by Christian)
* Darren Young (mentored by CM Punk)
* David Otunga (mentored by R-Truth)

3 comments: on "Tha Final ECW On SyFy Recap"

Robbie Nekoda said...

The idea of Miz mentoring Bryan Danielson just made me shit myself with laughter.

The Silverness said...

What happened to Low Ki, Brett Dibase and Joe Henning?

Moonsalt said...

Daniel fucking lazy can you get. How bout Bryan Daniels, or Daniel Bryant, hell Dan-e-o's Billy Bob Superglue suggestion is even more original than Daniel Bryan.

Also, what is William Regal doing that he can't mentor his shoot protege?

What will happen first, Danielson gets future endeavoured or NXT gets cancelled?