Tha "iMPACT!" Dispatch

While WWE was offering such great television as Evan Bourne getting squashed and Mr. McMahon kicking a seemingly overweight and out of shape Bret Hart square in his "grapefruits", TNA should have taken the opportunity to offer something different. This was their night to make a statement and set themselves apart from the competition. They could have finally cemented their place as a legitimate wrestling powerhouse and shed their image of a glorified indy promotion. Unfortunately, TNA fell far short of this mark.

It's been a while since I've watched TNA regularly (props to David Strickland and Andrew Gray for filling my shoes), but when I do watch, it always seems like their product is improving. Which is all the more reason I felt underwhelmed by their offering.

Don't get me wrong, it had its high points, and the main event was superb, but the rest of the show felt like it fell far short of its potential.

The night started with a Steel Asylum match. I really had high hopes for this match. I remember in 2005 when "iMPACT!" first debuted on Spike TV, and I remember the excellent job they did of putting over their prized X Division. Sadly, this display was nowhere near that calibre. If TNA was trying to appeal to fans watching for the first time (which Mike Tenay made pretty clear by some of his comments that they were), this was not a good way to do it. TNA needs to take far more pride in their X Division, it is part of their identity, and it needs to be showcased if TNA really wants to be as big as they say they do.

The big news from that quarter hour, of course, was Jeff Hardy's return to TNA. I would assume that pretty much puts the brakes on any plans WWE may have had for Punk vs. Hardy at WrestleMania 26. Kind of a shame, but maybe a run in TNA will help Jeff straighten out his life. Maybe not, but I'm being optimistic because Jeff Hardy entertains the shit out of me in the ring, something he cannot due if he's incarcerated for drug related crimes.

Okay, take everything I said in the last few paragraph, and replace "X Division" with "Knockout's Division". The match between Tara and ODB-a title match, no less-lasted less than three minutes. TNA, you need to present yourself as the clear alternative to WWE. The X Division is one way to do that; the Knockout's Division is another. Oh, goody. The Beautiful People are playing strip poker. That's how you set yourself apart from the competition.

Bobby Lashley wants to be released from his TNA contract. Fine. He admitted in interviews that TNA was just a paycheck to him, nothing more. I don't think quite as critically of him as some on this site do, but I wouldn't really miss him were he to leave TNA.

Then came the moment that TNA had hyped up for months. Hulk Hogan arrived in The "iMPACT!" Zone, coming out to the ring shortly before 9 PM. Good timing on TNA's part. They knew what they were doing with this one. Hogan was eventually joined by Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, Kevin Nash, and Eric Bischoff. Oh, God. Not another nWo run. The last thing TNA needs is to retread anything from WCW. I'm apprehensive about where they plan to go with this idea. Hall and Waltman are of little use to TNA in any capacity at this point.

Finally, TNA shows what it can put on! Sarita and Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong and Hamada was a damn solid match. With Kong and Hamada now holding the tag titles, there's finally a real storyline to be had with the belts. Like I said, TNA needs to show off the wrestling skills of the Knockouts if they want to establish themselves as a real wrestling company and not a Saturday morning cartoon.

Matt Morgan and Hernandez defeated Dr. Stevie and Raven in all of 30 seconds to earn number one contender status for the TNA Tag Team Championship. Morgan and Hernandez are teaming up? When did that happen? I would've thought for sure that, given how big tonight was, that these two men would have been given individual chances to highlight their skill. TNA would be wise to hitch their cart to these two over the long haul. On the plus side, however, Hernandez and Morgan vs. The British Invasion should be an excellent match.

Desmond Wolfe was beaten by D'Angelo Dinero. I don't understand this at all. Desmond Wolfe was just in a very entertaining feud with one of TNA's biggest stars, and now tonight he loses to a guy who's been disappearing and reappearing in TNA for months now? I don't get it. I thought for sure that Wolfe would become a part of the main event, but a loss like this leads me to believe he'll be relegated to the midcard or the X Division. The latter wouldn't be bad, though. Desmond Wolfe could almost certainly put on some damn good matches with the X Division talent.

Jeff Jarrett came out to give the spiel that's given at every major TNA event about how the company started out as a grassroots company and grew into a major promotion and how TNA was grateful to its fans. While I feel they like to overuse this feel good gimmick, I suppose tonight was a very fitting time to use it. Afterwards, Hogan came on the screen with some scathing words for Jarrett. The wheels are clearly in motion for a Team Jarrett vs. Team Hogan feud. I really hope said feud stays about the wrestlers and doesn't disintegrate into a dick waving contest between Jarrett and Hogan.

Samoa Joe and Abyss had a good match, but it was another match that lasted less than 5 minutes. While I will give some moderate praise to TNA for giving exposure to the younger stars who will carry the company in future years, I would like to point out that the Hogan and Friends segment has been longer than any of the matches shown tonight. Wasn't Hogan there to help make the young talent into superstars? As an ex once said to me, "That's not how you're going to get what you're after."

The "multiple attacker" storyline had better be going somewhere, because Beer Money vs. The British Invasion would have been a hell of a match to use to get people hooked on TNA. Show that you're about honoring tag wrestling and that you have some truly talented tag teams. If this "attacker" angle falls flat, I'm going to propose yanking that match from the card as the early front runner for worst booking decision of the year.

Now, the main event. The slated Genesis main event between AJ Styles and Kurt Angle was moved up to tonight. This match was this kind of thing that TNA should have been doing all night long. "Hi, we're TNA, we're really about wrestling, watch the great matches we can put on. We can do it for three hours straight if we want to because our roster is that fucking stacked and that fucking talented." Styles vs. Angle was pay-per-view quality. Great wrestling from two of the best in the company. They told a story with their match, and I was hooked from bell to bell. The little six year old mark in me came out when Styles struggled to break out of being grapevined in an Anklelock. I also marked out HARD for the "Who needs Bret?" chants. Classy.

I didn't see the need to have Ric Flair come out to the top of the ramp and then disappear, but at least he didn't interfere in the match. The last thing TNA needed tonight was a run-in and a schmoz finish to such a big match. However, on the Flair tip, it would seem that Flair may soon be Styles manager. I'm indescribably happy with that idea, because as I've touted for a long time, sometimes all a wrestler needs to be a complete entertainer is a mouthpiece. There's no sense holding talent back because they can't talk. Just get someone to talk for them. Well, it looks like AJ Styles just got one of the best ever to talk for him. Woooooo!

After the match, the show ended with Mick Foley being beaten down by Nash, Hall, and Waltman. Blah. I'm not interested at all in where that story goes. Styles and Angle embracing in the ring would have been the far superior choice for how to end "iMPACT!" You are a wrestling company, after all. Why not go out on the aftermath of what was a tremendous wrestling match?

So during the three hour span, in addition to the previously known debuts of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, we saw Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore, Orlando Jordan, Val Venis, Ric Flair, Sean Waltman, Scott Hall, The Nasty Boys, and Bubba The Love Sponge all debuted in TNA tonight. Of them, the only one that I'm remotely interested in is Jeff Hardy. I'm not too surprised that Rob Van Dam didn't appear, although given the amount of times I read his name just from visiting dirt sheets a handful of times, I really thought he would have shown up in some capacity.

Tha Results:
*Steel Asylum ends in No Contest
*ODB def. Tara to win Knockout's Championship
*Awesome Kong & Hamada def. Sarita & Taylor Wilde to win Knockout Tag Team Championship
*Matt Morgan & Hernandez def. Dr. Stevie & Raven
*D'Angelo Dinero def. Desmond Wolfe
*Samoa Joe def. Abyss
*AJ Styles def. Kurt Angle to retain TNA Heavyweight Championship

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