Tha Raw Report

"Welcome to a NEW holiday tradition!" says Michael Cole. SAY WHAT? You did this LAST year! Michael Cole already starting with a fail, but that's okay. We're informed that not only will they give out the traditional SLAMMY Awards, but that "Superstar of the Year" will be determined by a tournament - the winners of John Cena vs. CM Punk and Undertaker vs. Randy Orton will face off to determine who really is the best!

Dennis Miller comes out bitching about the pyro, "I'm now borderline incontinent and hard of hearing." Miller tries to rip a few jokes, fails, and says, "I'm just trying to get a feel for the wrestling crowd, I'm now going to run back to my script."

Miller says he's happy to be host for tonight's awards, and then runs down a comparison between politics and wrestling, making comparisons between Rep. Nancy Pelosi & Vickie Guerrero ("loud and obnoxious"), D-Generation X & Bush/Cheney, and Obama & Cena ("One puts people through a table, the other has yet to bring anything TO one!"). Miller plugs this Saturday's "Tribute to the Troops" show and their involvement with the USA Cares organization which helps servicemembers and their families.

BEST TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR

R-Truth and Jillian Hall come out to introduce our first SLAMMY of the evening. Jillian Hall decides to serenade us with a song from the rap group Tag Team. R-Truth tells her that he's renaming his intro music lyrics from "WHATS UP!" to "SHUT UP!". Our nominated teams... D-Generation X (Triple H & Shawn Michaels), the Legacy (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, Jr.), The Hart Dynasty (Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith & Natalya Neidhardt), and Jeri-Show (Chris Jericho & the Big Show).

And the winner is... CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW! Jericho comes out, "Oh, you were expecting somebody else, maybe? I can come out here and feign surprise, but that would be redicuiouls because Chris Jericho and the Big Show are the best team of this year or any year. I would like to thank two people.

I would like to thank the long-forgotten Edge who was cowardly enough to get hurt and relinquish one-half of the championships. Secondly I would like to thank myself for choosing the destroyer, the Big Show, as my new tag team partner. It was genious." Big Show says, "Make no mistake about it, WWE Universe. Despite what happened last night at TLC, Chris Jericho and I will retain... retain? Regain! Regain our tag team championships in the very near future!" Chris Jericho says that he is invoking their rematch clause for the WWE Unified Tag Team Championship TONIGHT! "We will prove why we are the best tag team of all time!"

We get some annoying commentary from Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler, then come back with William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson in the ring. we flash back to ECW last week where the team nearly breaks apart, but William Regal says that they're all on the same page again. Christian comes out and says that he's got two men who will take care of Regal's "monsters"

William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian Cage, Kane & the Great Khali

Vladimir Kozlov is excited to face Khali, tries a kick, Khali catches it and throws him down. Kozlov charges back and tries to speark Khali, Khali holds him in place and delivers a headbutt, Kozlov tries to bounce off the ropes and eats a boot from Khali. Kozlov tags in Jackson, who eats another headbutt from Khali.

Khali tags out to Christian, who hits a cross-body block from the top turnbuckle and nearly gets a pin attempt. Cage tries to bounce off the ropes and gets hit by William Regal from the outside. Regal tags in and works over Christian, but Christian gets a tag to Kane who throws Regal in the corner, followed by a side slam. Kane goes to the top turnbuckle to deliver the Clothesline from Hell, covers, Kozlov breaks it up.

Ezekiel Jackson tags in and tries to take off Kane's head with a clothesline. Kozlov tags himself in, not making Jackson happy. Kozlov charges and eats a boot from Kane. Kane tags out to Khali, who finishes off Kozlov with the Khali Chop.

WINNERS: Christian Cage, Kane & the Great Khali. Regal is left trying to pull Kozlov out of the ring, Jackson storms off. Dennis Miller congratulates the winner, then introduces our next SLAMMY:

BREAKOUT STAR OF THE YEAR

ECW General Manager Tiffany and SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long come out to introduce the award, and HOLY COW is Tiffany busting out of her dress! Tiffany says that the two of them feel that this is the most important award of the evening. Our nominees: Drew McIntyre, Sheamus O'Shanussey, Yoshi Tatsu, and Abraham Washington. ABRAHAM WASHINGTON???? WHAT IN THE FUCK???

And the winner is... the new WWE Champion, SHEAMUS O'SHANUSSEY! Sheamus comes out, smug and confident, but politely shakes Tiffany & Long's hands as he accepts his award. "I suppose you people take me seriously now, dontcha? How about you, John, you take me seriously? You still think I'm a footnote in WWE history?

I betcha, Cena! I putcha throug a table and I took ya title! Go through the list... Roddy Piper, Paul Orndorf, Curt Henning and Ricky Steamboat - all hall-of-famers, but none of them could accompish what I did last night! I guess that makes me better than all of them! I guess that makes me not only 'Breakout Star of the Year', but also WWE Champion!" Fans start up a LOUD "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" chant. "And now that I have this, Cena... you're never gettin' it back!" Wow, Sheamus delivers a great promo as the champ!

We take a commercial break, come back to Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole & Matt Striker. We hear Lawler gush on about John Cena and why he should be "Superstar of the Year". Matt Striker cuts him off and introduces the other three candidates: "CM Punk, Undertaker and Randy Orton".

Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston

We get a lock-up, Rhodes backs Kingston into the corner, referee break. Another lock-up Kingston with the side headlock, Rhodes sends him into the ropes, Kignston with the shoulder block, but Rhodes brings him down to the mat. Kingston pops back up and goes into the "Controlled Frenzy", rolls Rhodes over and hits the Boom Drop. Ted DiBiase, Jr. run in to draw an immediate disqualification, but for some reason not five seconds later Evan Bourne, "Johnny on-the Spot", is right there to even it up.

Dennis Miller comes out and says, "I'm sorry to break this up, but I have just been informed that I have won the SLAMMY for the Best Announcement by a Guest Host in the Middle of a Match that Ended on a Disqualification. what was previously a singles match has now been made a tag team match. AL SHARPTON, JEREMY PIVEN... SUCK IT! RING THE BELL!"

Legacy (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, Jr.) vs. Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne

Rhodes & DiBiase were already on the outside, with Kingston & Bourne in the ring. Our babyfaces decide to go for the double-team suicide over the top rope onto the heels, and we take a commercial. We come back and DiBiase is working over Kingston's taped-up left shoulder, throws him around, kicks him, tags to Rhodes.

Rhodes lays out Kingston and lays in armbars and knees to the shoulder, tags DiBiase back in. Kinston is able to throw off DiBiase, then backdrops him, Kingston with the hot tag, Bourne runs in, Dibiase tags Rhodes back in, Bourne with the headsicssor and dropkick on Rhodes, dropkicks DiBiase off the apron, flying knees on Rhodes, covers, DiBiase breaks it up and then kicks Kingston off the apron.

Bourne knocks DiBiase off the apron, turns around and ducks a clothesline from Rhodes, turns around and knees Rhodes in the face again. Bourne bounces off the ropes for a clothesline, Rhodes side-steps int, grabs Bourne by the neck and takes him out with the Crossroads for the win.

WINNERS: Legacy. Legacy quickly bail the ring as Kingston runs in to check on Bourne. Later tonight the WWE Unified Tag Team Championships will be on the line again with a mandatory rematch between D-X and Jeri-Show. We take a commercial.

Dennis Miller comes out and apologizes for his opening segment, "I didn't know that if you just said SUCK IT that you'd be considered a genius!" Miller then introduces our next two hosts as going over as well as "Octomom and a Planned Parenthood meeting"

SHOCKER OF THE YEAR

Vickie Guerrero and Santino Marella come out to introduce our next award, and you can barely hear Mrs. Guerrero over the boos. Marella takes over and the fans cheer and then shuts up, saying to Vickie, "What's amazing is that you stopped eating your pork rinds!" Your nominees: Randy Orton attacking Stephanie McMahon, Dave Batista turns on Rey Mysterio, CM Punk retiring Jeff Hardy, Sheamus attacking Mark Cuban and throwing him through a table.

And your winner is... CM PUNK RETIRES JEFF HARDY! Punk comes out, accepts his award, and we go to a commercial. Back from the break, Punk says, "The first and foremost person I want to thank is myself, because without me this would not be possible! I became World Heavyweight Champion twice this year!

I won Money in the Bank for the second consecutive time this year! I am the only man on the face of this earth with the guts to tell you people that you're throwing your lives away! I'm speaking the truth, and I don't care if it isn't what you want to hear, it's real! My greatest accomplishment is getting rid of the chronic enabler of the WWE, Jeff Hardy! And now I'm the only straight edge winner of a SLAMMY! So now it is only rightful that I take my position as the only two-time winner of Superstar of the Year, the STRAIGHT EDGE SUPERSTAR, CM PUNK!"

"SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR" TOURNAMENT MATCH: CM Punk vs. John Cena

Cena enters the ring with much fanfare. We lock up, Cena with the side headlock, Punk shoots him off and eats a shoulder tackle, but responds with a leg lariat as Cena flies off the ropes. Punk mocks the Five Knuckle Shuffle then goes for a pin attempt. Punk with knees into the ribs, sends Cena into the corner, connects with the Muay-Thai kneelift to the head, followed by the bulldog, goes for a pin, two count.

Punk with a key lock on Cena's right arm, Cena gets to his feet and powers out of it, kicks Punk in the midsection, bounces off the ropes and walks right into the Go To Sleep. Punk goes to connect, Cena flops through it, grabs a leg, and pulls Punk into the STF! Punk crawls to the ropes, nearly has it, Cena releases, drags him back to the middle of the ring, locks on the STF again and Punk can't tap out fast enough!

WINNER: John Cena. WHAT! THE! FUCK! OMG that's an EMBARASSING loss for Punk, he should NOT have been jobbed out like that, especially in just two minutes!! Punk clears the ring, Cena takes a mic.

"Congratulations to Sheamus... he is the new WWE Champion. I needed to take a second, and I wanted to apologize to anybody that I might have let down last night. This is... this is kinda hard to understand, but sometiems you can try so hard at something. Sometimes you can be so prepared, and still fail.

And everytime you fail, it's painful, it causes sadness, and especially as I saw last night, it causes disappointment. I've often said a man's character is not judged after he celebrates a victory, but by what he does when his back is against the wall. So no matter how great the setback, how severe the failure, you never give up. You never give up, you pick yourself up, you brush yourself off, you get up and move on and overcome AND THAT IS WAHT I BELIEVE!

So... there are those who were so offendedby my actions last night that they might have lost faith in me. I absolutely respect your decision to do so. But I'm not talking to them... I'm talking to those people who still believe! Tonight, I speak to those who still proudly stand in my corner! You have not given up on me, and I will NOT give up on you!

"The WWE Universe is all I got, this is my everything, so I'm not gonig to say tonight that I'm going to work harder, I'm going to be more dedicated, I'm going to put more time in the gym, that's impossible. What I'm going to say is that what happened at TLC will not happen again.

IT IS TIME TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, MY ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA STARTS RIGHT NOW! Everybody here, everybody watching, I can't be stopped, I won't be stopped! You want a headline for WWE.com, here it is: I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER MATCH UNTIL I ONCE AGAIN BECOME WWE CHAMPION!"

MATCH OF THE YEAR

We take a commercial and come back to Dennis Miller, who introduces "The Show" Triple H. Yep, he flubbed it. Triple H comes out and says, "Thank you, Dennis Millberg." Great save. Your noiminees: WrestleMania: Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker, Extreme Rules: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge Ladder Match, Breaking Point: John Cena vs. Randy Orton, Bragging Rights: Team Raw vs. Team SmackDown.

"I've had the very good fortune for winning this award for the last two years. Last year I defeated the great Ric Flair at WrestleMania 2008. This year at WrestleMania XXV I came up a little short and did not break the Undertaker's undefeated streak, but I'm still very proud of what we accomplished in Houston that night. So I once again would like to thank you all very much." Michaels starts to walk away, but the fans start chanting "H-B-K! H-B-K!" and Michaels returns to the podium.

"Y'know something, Undertaker? I can beat you! I know it... and more importantly, you know it! So right here tonight I'm throwing out the challenge... you and me... WrestleMania... ONE! MORE! TIME!" The fans are almost speechless at the challenge, HBK vs UT @ WMXXVI?

We lock up, Orton with a side headlock, taker shoots him off and hits a shoulder block, goes into an armbar and another shoulder block. Undertaker re-wrings the arm, jerks it, tries to walk the ropes with it, Orton pulls Undertaker down, then tries to stomp his guts out. Orton with clubs to the back, straight punches, then tries some ground-n-pound on the Phenom.

Undertaker begs off into a corner, Orton follws up with several punches, Undertaker throws his own heymakers and it bcomes a slugfest in the middle of the ring. Undertaker shoots Orton into the corner and follows up with a stiff clothesline and then the Snake Eyes in the corner followed by a clothesline and a legdrop, cover... two count. Undertaker calls for the chokeslam, Orton staggers up, gets caught, but he kicks Undertaker in the midsection to break, follows up with punches and then clotheslines Undertaker out of the ring.

Undertaker lands on his feet, grabs Orton by his feet, pulls him out under the ropes and then nails him with several punches. Undertaker lays Orton out on the apron, steps up on the apron himself and delivers a guillotine legdrop on Orton's neck, over the edge of the apron. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes come down to ringside, Undertaker chases them up the ramp. Undertaker comes back to Randy Orton, Orton pops up and pulls off an RKO. Referee is counting... eight... nine... Orton rushes under the ropes just before the count.

WINNER: Randy Orton, by countout. Rhodes & DiBiase rolls Undertaker into the ring, stomp on him, go to pick him up, Undertaker grabs them both by the throat, picks them up and clotheslines them out of the ring.

Randy Orton runs over, Undertaker ducks his clothesline, then delivers a chokeslam to Orton. Orton is OUT COLD, and Charles Robinson bails out of the ring before Undertaker gives him a piece of the mat! It will be John Cena vs. Randy Orton to wrestle for the title of "Superstar of the Year" at the end of the night!

GUEST HOST OF THE YEAR

Dennis Miller greets us as we come back, and says that earlier in the day Vince McMahon actually gave him cue cards and suggestions on how to perform comedy. Miller looked like he was just going to die. That said, Mr. McMahon comes out to present the award... and our nominees: Bob Barker, Seth Green, Shaquille O'Neal, Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne.

And the winner is... Bob Barker! Mr. Braker couldn't be here tonight, but he sent in a video greeting. "I would like to thank Vince McMahon and WWE, and of course, your viewers, for voting me as the WWE Guest Host of the Year. I will place it on the mantle in my home in a precious place."

Mr. Barker also thanks the fans for helping his charity for spaying/neutering pets and sale of his autobiography. He finishes up, "Vince, I would like you to know that I had a wonderful experience being with you. The staff, the wrestlers and the fans were all considerate and it was a great experience. I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. GO FOR IT!"

Vince says that he is going to "Go for it", and calls over Dennis Miller and asks him just who HE would pick for a Guest Host. Dennis Miller suggests that rather than a politician... what about... BRET "THE HITMAN" HART! Mr. McMahon says, "The last time Bret was here... 'Bret Screwed Bret'... um... I don't think he'd be interested." Miller asks the fans what THEY would think, and the fans go nuts. Vince McMahon walks off shaking his head. Miller wraps up, "Vince will appear that the Chuckle House this Friday, Route 67 in Paramus, NJ. We'll be right back with more Slammy awards!"

Backstage Chris Jericho makes his weekly appearance backstage with the guest host, and this time actually tries to butter the host up! Miller cuts him off, and using almost as many big words as Jericho, shuts him down. Miller then gets a little more simplistic.

"You're like a black hole! You suck the vibe out of the show all in the name of your little agenda, an agenda nobody cares about! You're like Kanye West showing up at a Taylor Swift Fan Club meeting!" Miller says he isn't going to cancel tonight's rematch with D-X because he hopes Jericho loses and will take his agenda to "anywhere but Raw". Jericho vows to prove Miller wrong.

WWE UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: champions D-Generation X (Triple H & Shawn Michaels) vs. Chris Jericho & the Big Show

After the bell rings, Triple H starts poking around the referee, Shawn Michaels kneels behind him and Triple H shoves the referee over him. Referee calls for a disqualification. All done intentionally, they play it all off. D-X reminds Chris Jericho that although he technically won the match, this was his ONE AND ONLY rematch, and because he doesn't have the Unified Tag Team Championships around his waist, he can no longer be on Raw!

Triple H calls for a D-X Army to come and take Jericho out of the arena. Out comes The Hurricane, Fit Finlay, Shad Gaspard & JTG, Shelton Benjamin, R-Truth andChristian come out dressed in D-X apperal. Chris Jericho argues, Shawn Michaels hits him with a superkick, and the D-X Army drags him out of the ring, prevents him from getting back in, and chases him up the ramp to the back. Jericho starts throwing things back stage as he's literally pushed out the door and shut out of the building!

And WOW... where the hell did Big Show go?? We take a commercial

MOST EXTREME MOMENT OF THE YEAR

Carlito Colon, Eve Torres and Chris Masters come out to present the award. Masters stops to strip off his suit jacket, exposing his chest. Carlito says, "This can also be described as an exciting moment...a hellacious moment, a devistating..." Colon is interrupted as Chris Masters flexes his pecs to Colon's words. Colon shouts "WILL YOU STOP IT!" and says he can do it as well.

He then asks Eve Torres if she can do it as well. Torres says, "That's interesting... because you'll NEVER find out!" Our nominees: Kofi Kingston attacks Randy Orton at Madison Square Garden, The Big Show throws John Cena through a 7000-Watt Search Light at Backlash, Jeff Hardy's suicidal dive on CM Punk, and Triple H's invasion of Randy Orton's home (in Florida).

And the winner is... JEFF HARDY VS CM PUNK AT SUMMERSLAM! Jeff Hardy is not here to accept the award tonight, but Matt Hardy will accept the award in his place. I wonder if it is because Jeff couldn't get clearance to leave the state of North Carolina? :blues: Matt Hardy says that Jeff thanks the fans for the award, Carlito Colon interrupts asking him why he's accepting it.

Hardy continues, the Colon ambushes Hardy, knocking him to the side. Colon grabs the awards and says, "I'll be happy to accept this award to myself, I'd like to thank Jesus, the Academy, Team Jacob, and most of all I'd like to thank ME, CARLITO!" Chris Masters comes up behind Colon and throws him into the MasterLock, then throws him over to Matt Hardy who punches him out. Matt Striker quips, "This is more like the Source Awards!" So, a Twilight AND a hip-hop reference? Nice! Commercial!

WWE United States Champion Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre & Zack Ryder vs. John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu & "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry

We start out with Henry and Mizanin, McIntyre distracts Henry and Mizanin tries to get the jump on Henry, but no-go! Henry headbutts the Miz and then uses the Gorilla Press Slam to drop him like a bad habit! Henry winds up the arm, tags in Morrison, who climbs to the top turnbuckle to deliver a double axehandle smash, follows up with a Russian Legsweep and a standing 360 splash, cover and a two count. Mizanin quickly counters and tags in McIntyre, but Morrison charges him and starts swinging, sompts him in the chest.

Morrison tries to kick him in the face, but McIntyre ducks it and rushes for a tag to Zack Ryder. Ryder calls out Tatsu and gets him, tries to throw a kick, Tatsu blocks it, counters with a shoulder block off the ropes, they fly around the ring into a Mexican Standoff. Ryder poses and shouts "WOO WOO WOO!", Tatsu responds with an Enziguri, LIGHTS OUT! 1-2-3!

WINNERS: John Morrison, Mark Henry & Yoshi Tatsu. Matt Striker with the quip of the night, "If you're gonna talk trash to Yoshi Tatsu, you better do it quick! And in Japanese, because he doesn't speak English." Commercial

7-ON-7 DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH: WWE Divas Champion Melina Perez, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Maria Kanellis, Nikki & Bree Bella vs. WWE Womens Champion Michell McCool, Layla London, Natalya Neidhardt, Rosa Mendez

The Divas are all arguing in the ring, referee has to seperate them all. They're ALL wearing evening gowns, trying to clear the ring, Rosa Mendes decides she wants a piece of Mickie James, kicks her in the gut, then mounts her, grabs her hair and slams her head on the mat. Mendes lets her up, slaps her in the face a few times, James tries to slap her back. Mendes throws her in the corner, charges, Mendes eats James' foot then a Hurracanrana, followed by the LAREE DDT! ONE. TWO. THREE. Mickie James points out each count staring Michelle McCool right in the face.

WINNER: Mickie James... and the rest of the babyfaces.

DIVA OF THE YEAR

Montel Vontaveous Porter and Goldust come out to present the award while the divas are still celebrating their win. All of the divas were up for this award, and it was voted on by the fans at WWE.com. Goldust says, "I've been known as a diva... maybe I should just take this award myself?" The girls boo him, Goldust says, "You girls are too sensitive! Lighten up! We got MVP on the stage... and PMS in the ring!" The fans boo, and Goldust says that joke was in poor taste and he'll show himself out.

And your winner is... MARIA KANELLIS! Wow, I wasn't expecting that one, but I can't say it was a bad choice! Maria makes her way out of the ring and up the ramp to the podium, slapping hands with the fans. "Oh my gosh, you guys! Thank you so much! Thank you to the WWE Universe, you guys are awesome! Thank you for your support!"

Dave Batista rushes out wearing a PINK BRIGHT PINK polo shirt, rushes Kanellis off the stage, "That's good, that's good, no disrespect but this is about me, I should get the award for Screwjob of the Year! It's not about you, it's about me!" Another Kanye West jab? OUCH. Security comes and escorts him off the stage.

THE OH MY GAWD! MOMENT OF THE YEAR!
Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas and "Big" Dick Johnson come out to present the award. Johnson starts dancing to Washington's entrance music, and Tony Atlas can't stop laughing. Washington can barely get out his portion of the introduction, Johnson suddenly whips out a pair of serious looking reading glasses and finishes the presentation in a serous and dramatic style.

Your nominees: Chris Masters and his amazing dancing pecs, Shawn Michaels superkicking a little girl, "VINTAGE MICHAEL COLE!" throwing up on Chris Jericho's shoes, and Santino Marella taking a cream pie from every WWE Diva... get your head out of the gutter!

And your winner is... MICHAEL COLE VOMITS! Cole leaps up, nearly humps Jerry Lawler's head off, runs up the ramp, leaps into Dick Johnson's arms. "THANK YOU!!! I put in a lot of years of training for that scene! And a lot of respect to my mentors J.R. and Joey Styles, "Slobberknocker" and "OH MY GAWD!" are out, "VINTAGE!" and "OH MY!" is in! Forget "Sooner Boomer", it's now "HOOK 'EM HORNS! THANK YOU!"

Dennis Miller comes back on stage and says that he is going to excuse himself for the rest of the evening, he's now nausious after seeing Dick Johnson dance. He thanks the fans, the WWE wrestlers and the staff... SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR IS NEXT!

D-Generation X welcomes us back from commercial to shill some more for WWEShop.com (you notice they stop calling it ShopZone? I guess that is a little dated). Somehow Triple H busts up HBK's toy display, Michaels wants to sit down and Triple H covers him with a... D-X SNUGIE???

More busllshit, Hornswoggle shows up and gives D-X a WWEShop.com gift card, and shills his own D-X/Hornswoggle Army shirt. They try to take Hornswoggle down, but he once again escapes, Triple H ends up punching the crap out of HBK thinking they caught the Little Bastard under the Snugie. Triple H runs off for help, Hornswoggle comes back, puts a Santa cap on HBK, then gives him a crotch chop.

NEXT WEEK: NEW YORK YANKEE JOHNNY DAMON HOSTS FROM TAMPA, FLORIDA!

WWE SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR FINALS: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

*yawn* It might as well be these two, they've sucked up the majority of camera time this year, "the greatest rivalry of 2009" as Michael Cole puts it. Cena attacks Orton right at the bell, putting him head-first into two corners, whipping him ito a third, boot to the midsection, Fisherman's Suplex, cover and a two count.

Orton crawls to a corner, Cena kicks him in the gut, lays in a couple of punches to the head, pulls him out of the corner, body slam, elbow drop, cover and two. Orton back in the corner, Cena whips him out, tries to catch him with a bulldog on the rebound, Orton blocks it and shoves Cena out of the ring, buying him some time. Orton leaves the ring, picks up Cena and uppercuts him with a forearm, then runs him head-first into the ringpost. Orton takes his time putting Cena back into the ring, flips him over, Cena kicks out

Orton rakes his kneepad across Cena's eye, stomps on him a few times, then breaks off to stalk around the ring and suck up some boos from the fans. Orton goes back to stomping on various body parts as the fans try to rally Cena up.

Orton with a kick in the ribs, Cena sits up, Orton punches him in the head several times as Cena crawls into the corner, and Orton stomps him down until the referee breaks. Orton pulls him out, starts to pick him up, Cena recovers, kick to the midsection, bounce off the ropes, the Blockbuster, then Cena goes to the top turnbuckle and hits the guillotine legdrop to the back of Orton's head, covers, 1...2... kickout! Cena tries to whip Orton off the ropes, Orton blocks it, grabs him in a headlock, and hits the backbreaker over the side, covers, two count for Orton. Orton pounds the mat in frustration.

Cena gets to his knees, Orton looks down at him, seething, draws back his fist and reels off a punch, Cena still trying to get up, Orton with another calculated punch. Orton tries for a third, Cena grabs a leg, rolls him up, two count, Orton pops up and cuts Cena off with a clothesline, goes for a cover, hooks the leg, two count!

Orton stands up and somps on Cena's wrist and shoulder, then a few shots to the back. Orton adjusts his kneepad, backs up and delivers the high kneedrop to the head, but Cena moves out of the way. Cena pops up and delivers a pair of shoulderblocks off the ropes, picks up Orton for the side slam, and the fans go wild as Cena prepares for the Five Knuckle Shuffle... off the ropes... and delivers!

Orton pops up, walks right into the Attitude Adjustment, Orton wiggles out, goes for the RKO, gets blocked, Cena again goes for the Attitude Adjustment and delivers! The pin! 1... 2... KICKOUT!

Orton rolls out of the ring, Cena starts to slide under the rope to get him, but Orton pops up, grabs Cena by the head and delivers aDDT to the floor! Orton looks a little wiped out as well, referee starts a count as Orton gets up, picks up Cena and rolls him back in the ring, Orton follows, rolls him over, hooks the leg.. 1... 2... kickout again!

Orton takes his time resting, thens tands back up. Cena is trying to get to his knees. Orton backs up... charges with the boot, Cena ducks it, picks up Orton into the Attitude Adjustment... 1... 2... 3!

YOUR WINNER AND 2009 WWE SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR, THE IMMORTAL SUPERMAN INCREDIBLE HULK IRON MAN UNDEFETABLE SOL INVICTUS, JOHN CENA! Cena celebrates in the ring as Orton rolls out, but your NEW WWE Champion SHeamus O'Shanussey comes out to the ramp and holds the title over his head. Cena dares him to come down to the ring, but Sheamus taunts him with the gold instead as we close out the evening!

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