Nickolye's Raw Report

Earlier tonight, Chris Jericho was outside the arena building asking fans to sign a petition to bring him back to Raw and the fans boo him. He tells them over a megaphone to stop taking pictures and sign the petition. Ha ha - he said he feels sorry for the children. Time for the final Raw of 2009. CUE THE OPENING CREDITS AND PYRO!

Tonight Sheamus will defend the WWE Championship against John Cena, and Vince McMahon will address the Bret Hart rumor! But first, here comes Cena! The (former) champ is here in Hartford, Connecticut and the crowd goes nuts! Cena slides in and out the ring and brings out a table from under the ring.

He brings it in the ring and sets it up, exactly in the same position it was when he lost the title in the Tables Match at WWE TLC, then sits on the same corner turnbuckle. Cena: "Hell, you guys are excited tonight. So am I and I'll tell you why. Two weeks ago, this is where Sheamus became WWE Champion. And two weeks ago, that right there, that's how Sheamus became the WWE Champion.

Tonight is the final Raw of 2009. And tonight I get a rematch for the WWE Championship. Judging by your excitement I say we have that rematch right now! You know what, you guys are so excited, I say we make that rematch a Tables Match!" Fans pop for that idea! "What do ya say Sheamus?"

Out comes Sheamus, hopefully with a response. Sheamus: "Are you for real Cena? You're the challenger, you're the one with something to prove. I don't have to prove anything because I am the WWE Champion. And that means, Raw belongs to me!" Cena: "Raw belongs to the WWE Universe, get your facts straight. Are we gonna have a Tables Match or not?"

Sheamus: "This match will be on my terms which means we will not have a Tables Match. In case you forgot John, I put you through a table. That's not a challenge. I'm gonna beat you one-on-one in the main event tonight. The last image of Raw in 2009 is gonna be me standing over your bruised and battered body holding MY WWE CHAMPIONSHIP."

Cena jumps over the table, spins Sheamus around and PLANTS him through the table with the Attitude Adjustment! Cena leaves the ring and salutes the fans before a commercial break. Tomorrow night on ECW, it will be Evan Bourne vs. Matt Hardy in the ECW Championship Homecoming tournament.

We come back to Raw and replay what just happened with Cena and Sheamus. Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler discuss what effect that may have in tonight's main event. They segue to Timbaland hosting and we go backstage to see Timbo hanging out with the Bella Twins and Gail Kim. Josh Matthews interrupts to interview him about the status of the title match tonight. Timbaland: "I am the realest guest host you can have.

Since I am the captain of the ship, the way I see it, Sheamus put John through a table, and John put Sheamus through a table. Why would I postpone it? People, do y'all what to see John Cena and Sheamus get it on for the WWE Championship?" (Big applause from the crowd after he asks again.) "Raw, baby, there it is. Tonight." He sits back down with the divas and does a little dance. Too silly to be interesting.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. are walking backstage discussing The Marine 2 until they meet up with Randy Orton, and he suggests breaking up Legacy! He says he wasted the last year and a half with Rhodes and DiBiase. He's upset about losing their match last week. He challenges their success rate and says he doesn't associate himself with failures.

Rhodes and DiBiase contest his decision saying he should thank them. Orton decides to put them to a test in singles matches and he'll be at ringside. DiBiase will face Evan Bourne and Rhodes will face Mark Henry. If they lose, not only will they be kicked out of Legacy but he promises to kick the hell out of them. Wow.

The camera pans around outside the arena and Jericho is STILL protesting. Still to come tonight, Vince McMahon will address the rumors of Bret Hart returning. But first, Orton makes his way out the ring for the first Legacy Challenge before the break. We come back and see Jericho sitting at a table with the petition we wants people to sign. In the arena, Orton is sitting ringside as he promised. Before Bourne comes out we waste more time with a preview of The Marine 2.

* Ted DiBiase vs. Evan Bourne

The bell rings with DiBiase clubbing Bourne down. He misses an elbow drop and Bourne dropkicks him in the head. He connects a spinning wheel kick but got turned inside out by a big clothesline for 2. DiBiase delivers a delayed vertical suplex for 2. Two elbow drops follow and he puts Bourne in a headlock. The crowd cheers for Bourne as he fights out with a jumping back kick.

DiBiase sits atop the turnbuckle but Bourne gives him a hurricanrana for 2! A kick takes DiBiase down, Bourne goes up top, DiBiase cuts him off, Bourne sends him down and jumps over him. DiBiase tosses him over his head and Bourne misses the corner on a botch! DiBiase finishes him off with the Dream Street for the win as Evan Bourne jobs yet again on Raw. WINNER: Ted DiBiase.

Cody Rhodes will have his chance next, and the WWE Championship is still on for the main event. Breaktime. Back to the show and Rhodes is on his way out.

* Cody Rhodes vs. Mark Henry

Rhodes stares at Orton when the bell rings and Henry tosses him across the ring shortly after. Henry misses a sit-down splash and Rhodes hits a low crossbody. Henry pie-faces him out the ring, eats a dropkick and still knocks Rhodes down with a clothesline.

Rhodes ends up slung on the ropes and Henry slides through smushing him! Henry shakes his knee as if he tweaked it, goes after Rhodes and presses him high but dropped him due to the leg, so Rhodes uses a chop block to take him down. Rhodes kicks Henry's knee and DDT's him to get the win! WINNER: Cody Rhodes.

So both Rhodes and DiBiase won their matches to remain in Legacy. Orton looks disturbed but still approaches Rhodes and pats him on the back. They walk back up the ramp heading backstage. In the back Gail Kim and Jillian Hall are talking, and Jillian wants to sing for Timbaland. Triple H and Hornswoggle attempt to do something dastardly when Shawn Michaels shows up.

HHH taped up Hornswoggle to a skateboard, but HBK looks upset. He said he is worried about Vince and Bret Hart tonight. Triple H gives him a pep talk about it and says not to worry about it, then tells him not to do anything stupid. Michaels scoffs at him as Hunter finishes taping up Hornswoggle. Jillian starts her singing when Timbaland walks out the office, then Hunter rolls the midget into her knocking her on her ass! Hornswoggle and Timbaland high-five before a commercial break.

Tonight DX will face Big Show and a partner of his choice. Also, Kofi Kingston faces The Miz in a non-title match, and if he wins he'll get a title match next week. Out comes Kelly Kelly for a match, yay. Apparently this next match stems from last week's match - great.

* Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse

The bell rings a Maryse flips her hair so Kelly gives her a forearm and takes her down. Recapping a catfight is useless, so I won't. Kelly comes back with a clothesline and a dropkick. She climbs up top and gets a crossbody for 2. She whips Maryse to a corner but misses the cartwheel back elbow. Maryse drops her from the turnbuckle then delivers her snap DDT for the 3-count.

WINNER: Maryse. Maryse grabs a microphone and starts CACKLING into it. "Are you watching me Melina? Of course you are! (She starts speaking French.) You'll never be as sexy as me. And we both know that I'm the next Divas Champion." She cackles again then kicks Kelly in the ribs before she leaves. Commercial break, featuring a promo for the 2010 Royal Rumble coming to PPV on January 31.

Jericho still petitions outside the ring. Big Show shows up and their interaction becomes a little weird as they're speaking as if it was "more than a partnership." Big Show says he's moved on, Jericho says he'll cherish what they had, Big Show leaves, and Jericho reads a paper that Show handed to him and chuckles. Here comes McMahon for the big announcement!

* Vince McMahon addresses the rumors of Bret hart returning.

"Good evening. (Crowd shouts WE WANT BRET!) There's no question in my mind that you all continue to enjoy my ingenious of having a guest host on Raw. Once again demonstrating there is nothing I wouldn't do for the WWE Universe. Let me address some rumors by some of you. No suggestions are that next week we have a very special guest host on Monday Night Raw. That special guest host is Bret 'The Hitman' Hart. For the benefit of you young fans I put a brief yet unbiased history of Bret hart. Take a look." We get a nice video package of Bret Hart and the fans adulation for him. Uh-oh, we go to the classic "Montreal Screwjob."

"Bret Hart did not leave my company on the best of terms. I said it before and I will say it again. I did not screw Bret Hart. Bret Hart screwed Bret Hart. In spite of Bret's evil maniacal actions, I allowed Bret to come back to the WWE. I even allowed Bret to be inducted to the Hall of Fame. On that night Bret and I did not have a word. Bret stood there and I had my hand out to shake it. I expected Bret Hart to show me the respect and appreciation. That's not what happened. Bret Hart showed me utter contempt.

But despite all of that, and to show you that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, next week - in spite of your stupid WHATS, and if you're an imbecile from Hartford you'll say... (WHAT!) Next week on Raw, the guest host will be.......... Next week's guest host will be......... I just can't do it. I apologize, but Bret Hart will NEVER be a guest host here on Monday Night Raw." Vince leaves the ring, but here comes SHAWN MICHAELS! "Let's here it for the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!"

HBK: "You know Vince, sometimes not often, but sometimes there are rivalries that are even bigger than this industry. Rivalries so big you can't deny the people and yourself simply because it can't work for you." Vince: "You are talking about Bret Hart." HBK: "No I am not; I'm talking about the Undertaker. I said it at the Slammy's. I know I can beat the Undertaker, and I know I can beat his undefeated streak. I came out here to appeal to you. I came out to appeal to your wallet. WrestleMania, the Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, the rematch! Make it happen."

Vince: "I learned my lesson when it comes to the Undertaker, therefore Shawn Michaels I won't make this match. If this match is going to happen then YOU'RE going to make it happen." HBK: "Vince, before you go, there's one other thing to add. I can understand you being afraid of the Undertaker, but being afraid of Bret Hart?

You know Vince, you don't have many open chapters in your life. Maybe you need to bring much needed closure. What have you got to lose? Bring Bret the Hitman Hart back to WWE. Bring Bret the Hitman Hart back to Monday Night Raw. I promise you, if you do only good things are going to happen." Vince: "First of all, I'm not afraid of the Undertaker, Bret Hart, you, or any man who walks on this earth. I am FEARLESS. What was that phrase you used?" HBK: "Only good things will happen."

Vince: "Only good things will happen? .... All right Shawn, you wanna bring Bret Hart back?" HBK: "Let's just say, I for one, will be more than happy to see Bret the Hitman Hart one more time."

Vince: "Well then if only good things are going to happen, then next week on Monday Night Raw, the new year starts off with a special guest host. And that host will be, BRET THE HITMAN HART!" Vince leaves the ring, and backstage Josh Matthews interviews John Cena about his match tonight. He asks him how he feels going into the match after putting Sheamus through a table earlier but Sheamus jumps him! Breaktime.

Backstage the Bellas are talking, and so are Gail Kim and Eve Torres. MVP is sitting with Timbaland playing PSP and Timbaland hands him his new game about making beats. Kofi comes in to thank Timbo for the chance to fight for the United States Championship. MVP says he wants a first title shot against Kofi is he wins. Miz shows up to talk trash about Kofi not beating him. Then he tells Gail Kim that she can't keep up with Maryse.

Timbaland tells Miz that if Kofi wins the match then the title match will be TONIGHT. Miz scoffs and leaves as everybody mocks him. The announcers then discuss the other title match that will happen as scheduled with Cena and Sheamus, and also recap the Celtic Warrior beating Cena down backstage.

* The Miz {U.S. Champion} vs. Kofi Kingston [non-title match]

Kofi with the go behind, and Miz escapes. He suplexes Kofi and stomps on him in the corner. He charges and hits the clothesline to take Kofi down. Miz jumps off the top rope and Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise! 1-2-3! WINNER: Kofi Kingston. Miz is OUT! The title match is NEXT after the break.

* United States Championship: The Miz {C} vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi sticks his boots up when Miz runs in and hits the SOS flipping pin for 2. The crucifix roll-up gets a 2-count. He pulls Miz to the center and hits the Russian legsweep. BO! BO! The Boom Drop connects! Kofi sets up for, and connects with Trouble in Paradise again! Randy Orton runs down and pulls Kofi out the ring, pummels him then hits the RKO on the floor! WINNER by DQ: Kofi Kingston... but STILL U.S. Champion: The Miz. Orton stares at Kofi's prone body for a long time until we go to the replays. After the replay Orton is STILL lingering around ringside before the break.

Josh Matthews catches up to Orton walking backstage asking why he attacked Kofi, and Orton coldly responds, "Kofi Kingston thinks that our situation is over. It's not over until I say so! Next week, we finish this. And I can't wait until I kick someone in the skull." Out comes DX for their match; they get in the ring and survey the crowd. HHH: "Man this place is packed! So I gotta ask all of ya, are you ready? No Hartford, I said ARE, YOU, READY?!

Then for the thousands in attendance, and for the millions watching around the world, and for the Big Show... because the big man seemed a little down earlier, after the emotional breakup of his "partner". Don't fear, Big Show has found a new man, and they'll consummate his relationship with his new partner." HBK: "Not that there's anything wrong with that." before they can finish they notice Chris Jericho walking in the arena through the crowd towards ringside to sit down with a ticket.

* D-Generation X {Unified Tag Champs} vs. Big Show & Chavo Guerrero [non-title match]

Chavo goes for the Three Amigos immediately but HHH blocks the third and responds with a delayed vertical suplex. Chavo hits a dropkick, but HHH comes back and tags in HBK. Michaels has control until Big Show pulls his hair when he bounces on the ropes. The ref's back is turned and Show claws Michaels in the ribs. Jericho stands up cheering for Show and berates a fan when he yells "Down in front." Show picks up Michaels with two hands and drops him. Chavo tags in but Michaels put the knees up when Guerrero went for a splash. HHH tags in and so does Show. HHH avoids the chokeslam and hits a Spinebuster to Chavo.

Two shoulder blocks don't knock Big Show down, and even the facebuster is useless because Big Show SPEARS him! Chavo comes in to try and frog splash HHH from off Show's shoulders, but he moved! Show stops Triple H from delivering the Pedigree, then HBK takes out Show over the top rope and the fucking little midget shows up. I should have known the reason Chavo is in this match is for Hornswoggle to get involved. UGH! FUCK THIS SHIT! Triple H finishes Chavo with a big time Pedigree. WINNER: D-X.

Jericho jumps over the barricade protesting about Big Show's loss. He climbs on the apron and suffers Sweet Chin Music! Triple H has a mic: "You know Chris, if this is how it's going to be with you whining and complaining, it's never going to happen. You want a rematch? You got it!

It's going to happen next week. But if you lose, and you will lose, you are gone from Raw for good! No disguises, no petitions, just you off this show forever." And Michaels ends the promo, "And if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya." FUCK RAW! Cole and King recap Cena and Sheamus before the commercial break.

Cole and King begin to run down all of the events that will happen on January 4th, a day that will truly be historic in wrestling.

•Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston
•Unified Tag Team Championship
•Bret Hart guest hosts Raw!

Justin Roberts introduces Timbaland as the special ring announcer for this next match. He comes out with the Bella Twins wearing Cena's t-shirt and tosses a Cena hat into the crowd. He gets in the ring and asks the fans if they're ready for the match. Timbaland looks like he's ready to fall over; he looks like an old man right now. By the time it's 11 PM and he finally introduces Cena.

* WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Sheamus {C}

The bell rings at 11:02 and this won't take long. Cena stares around as Sheamus stares at him. They start slugging it out and Sheamus tosses Cena off the bulldog! Sheamus clotheslines him and ground'n'pounds him. He drives his shoulders into Cena's midsection then suplexes him for 2. Michael Cole freaks out when the count wasn't even close, that fucktard. Sheamus whips Cena to a corner but misses a clothesline. VINTAGE CENA with the shoulder block, shoulder block, spinning side slam, YOU CAN'T SEE ME, 5-Knuckle Shuffle.

Sheamus grabs the ropes to avoid the Attitude Adjustment, and he yanks the ref. Cena slams him down with his finisher and the ref calls for the bell! WINNER by DQ: John Cena... but STILL WWE Champion: Sheamus. Fucking bullshit! Two title matches in one night without a clean finish!

Sheamus grabs his title and leaves, Cena looks dejected then goes after him. He throws the champion in the ring and Sheamus kicks his head off with the bicycle kick! Cena struggles back up and Sheamus boots him in the face again.

He raises his arms in victory with his foot on Cena's throat. We get replays of the ending then go back to see Sheamus raising the WWE Title above his head. The last image we see, like Sheamus predicted, is him holding the title up shouting "RAW, BELONGS, TO ME!" GOOD NIGHT AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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