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Tha iMPACT! Playback

Sorry! I missed "The Playback" last week as well as reporting on Turning Point. I was trapped in the studio. Back like high top fades, dookie rope chains and designs in your’s this week's TNA "iMPACT! Playback".

“Burn, Baby Burn” is the title of this week's show. We need a live iMPACT! Asap!

The show starts with Mick Foley and Mankind coming out together...oh sorry, I meant Mick Foley and Abyss.

Foley’s got an eye patch on, and Mick says that Dixie Carter doesn’t value him anymore. Out comes Raven, Dr. Stevie and Daphnie after Mick issues them a challenge for tonight.

Blah, blah, Stevie says his piece. Raven looks like a Meth head. Raven questions Foley’s authority. Quote Mick Foley: “The match is on”.

Everyone is so worried about Hogan’s arrival. Who remembers Hulk’s first encounter with TNA when Jarrett smashed a guitar over his head?

So, Angle and Styles are gonna team up for the first time tonight to face Wolf and Samoa Joe. Angle’s upset that Daniels got a title shot before him and confronts AJ. I bet Angle’s got issues with Hogan’s arrival in TNA too.

First match of the night: Scott Steiner vs. Amazing Red.

It’s David and Goliath here. Gorilla Press by Steiner and a clothesline, elbow drop and Scott’s doin' push ups. Ha!

Steiner could win anytime he wants to in this match so what does Big Poppa Pump do? Scotty piledrives Red and then goes outside for a lead pipe and smashes AR’s leg, then beats him with his X Division belt. Of course Bobby Fagley runs in. I've always been a BPP fan, I love when he hurts dudes. On some old school shit.

Nash and Young Interview.

Nash is holding the Global Championship belt still. Big Kev hands the belt back to Young and says Eric out-thought the smartest man in professional wrestling and Nash can respect that. Nash offers Young a chance to tag up with him.

Nash joins the World Elite? Is Hogan planning to take over the World Elite? New World Elite – The N.W.E.??? Nash says to Foley that he’ll be on the phone with Hulk all night and he’ll get his answers.

Ok what’s really good here? Hogan’s already pullin' strings through Nash. It’s starting to get interesting people. I will not deny Hogan’s always got something up his sleeve.

Beer Money & Motor City Machine Guns vs. British Invasion & Kioshi & Abdul Brashir.

Nash and Young accompany the WE competitors to the ring. The ref says if Young gets out of his announce chair, BI will lose automatically.

Tag team basics in this match. Lots of USA chants. “O” of the match when Beer Money double suplexes to Kioshi on the ramp. Roode steps to Young while Big Rob interferes. MCMG’s get the pin on BI and Eric Young cusses out Big Rob. Rob looks like Steiner used to back in the 80’s and 90’s. Big and cut. This guy could be the TNA Batista.

Foley is backstage looking for Nash. Foley’s been lookin' shook all night. I got a question. Where’s Jeff Jarrett in all of this? Another former NWO member I might add.
Notice Nash compared Young to Scott Hall earlier.

Foley catches up to Nash, they make a deal for Nash to let Foley in on what Hogan’s up to. Interesting, Nash says when Hogan comes he’s not coming alone...the plot thickens.

Hulk video promo about his signing and book promo. Where’s the ticker tape parade? Vince should be running the Hogan DVD commercials during iMPACT!

Abyss is in Foley’s office concerned about Foley’s state. Mick jokes about being a blind ref. OK, why is the big bad monster Abyss acting like such a pussy?

Hamada vs. Toronto’s own and one half of the TNA Knockouts Champions Taylor Wylde.

Hamada dresses like a dude again. This match looked too choreographed but in a bad way. Nuff pin attempts and high flying tactics by these two women. Hamada lands a spin kick and a Hamada Driver and it’s over she gets the three count on Taylor.

Abyss is losing his mind, he tries to baracade Foley’s office door so he can’t get out. Donuthead.

More Hogan propaganda, uh I mean promotion.

Raven & Dr.Stevie vs. Abyss & Mick Foley.

Raven and Stevie come out then Abyss. Foley’s music hits but no Mick. Abyss goes beserk and attacks Raven & Stevie. The monster’s out of the closet now. Finally in the ring, Raven and Stevie take it to Abyss.

So far this is a handicap match. Abyss flips out again and takes it to his opponents 'till Raven takes out a foreign object. Raven gets caught by the ref and Abyss wins by DQ. What the fucks up with Daffney’s mini top hat? She must be a freak. Post match Raven and Stevie double team Abyss choking him out.

Trash talk with ODB.

God, she looks like a bad whore. Her guest is Homicide...She got dude sitting on a mini van chair on a skid. Homicide discusses Suicide and sounds like an idiot while doin' it. Learn to talk buddy - That was horrible.

Tomko Interview. Tomko’s back??? Ok Raven, Tomko, Wolf, Hogan and Hogan’s bringing "friends". Lots of new blood in TNA. The Beautiful People interrupt the interview. Lacie I love you!

Serita vs. Alyssa Flash.

Serita looks like a tooth pick, get some implants girl. Very even match throughout his one. I wasn’t sold on the kick to the head of Flash by Serita that got them the win. Traci Brooks comes out after the match and attacks Alyssa Flash.

Foley’s in the back lookin' for Stevie and Raven and takes the Daffney bait. Raven and Stevie choke out Foley with a cable.

Street Fight Rules - Team 3D and Rhyno face Deangelo Dinero, Matt Morgan & Hernandez.

The Pope and co. run out to set things off. I guess Hernandez won’t be the TNA Champ anytime soon. Out comes the weapons, and you know what that means. Carnage. I still don’t like the Pope. The young cats schooled the veterans in this match. Out come the tables ala the Pope’s request. Super Mex does a Hulk impersonation and rips off his shirt.

Hernandez takes everyone out and has the match. Just when he’s about to get the 3 count, Jesse Neil comes out with a new look and clobbers Hernandez with a chair and puts Rhino on Hernandez for the pin. Team 3D & Rhino get the win!

Styles & Angle argue in the back about Angle’s title shot before their match. WTF? That’s a recipe for disaster. Team 3D, Rhyno & Jesse in the back. Rhino’s biggin' Jesse up. Tomatohead calls Jesse a Bad Mother Fucker. Jesse looks like a white Mr. T with that haircut.

Sting no shows his own interview at his own home. WTF of the night for sure! I feel ripped off. I been waiting to hear what Sting’s got to say all week.

Wolf and Daniels pre-match Interview. Wanker. Daniels, grow a goatee buddy.

Desmond Wolf & Daniels vs. Kurt Angle & AJ Styles.

I like Wolf’s cocky attitude, he reminds me of Kurt Angle a bit. Angle is definitely shrinking. AJ gets a huge ovation when he comes out. AJ’s too squeaky clean for my liking. Too much of a “nice guy”. I know Angle is fuming about not getting his rematch. Technically, he never got pinned to lose the TNA strap.

Daniels and Angle start off the match. Back and forth and finally we get Angle–Wolf in the ring.

USA chants again. Looks like Angle gets hurt midway through the match. AJ falls goin' to the top rope and gets caught in a Tower of London by Wolf. Angle chases Wolf out the ring and Daniels hits a Moonsault off the top ropes and gets the pin on AJ Styles. Shedding another shadow of doubt over the Champ.

Kurt Angle got all his charges dropped recently. Lucky for Angle. All I can say for sure is once again TNA served up a show chock full of Non-Stop Action!

I keep saying it – WWE take notes. A lot of people may not have liked the WCW but I did, for the thrill and surprise factors they had. Once the Fed or the Ent. took over WCW, the hype faded and it all went back to the B.S. and boring shit that the WWE is serving up nowadays.

Long live iMPACT! Now go live already Dixie!

Before I’m out, I gotta shout out my oldest son Keegan who turned 18 today.

Tha Results:

Amazing Red def. Scott Steiner by DQ
Beer Money & Motor City Machineguns def. British Invasion & Kioshi & Abdul Brashir
Hamada def. Taylor Wylde
Abyss & Mick Foley def. Raven & Dr.Stevie by DQ
Serita def. Alyssa Flash
Team 3D & Rhyno def. Deangelo Dinero, Hernandez & Matt Morgan
Desmond Wolf & Daniels def. Kurt Angle & AJ Stlyes

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