ECW On SyFy Recap

We're in Providence, Rhode Island and we're opening cold without the ECW theme music, because it's time for Christian to come down to the ring and make a statement. "After living through it last week and seeing the footage again just now, there's only one thing left to say - I want William Regal in this ring, and I want him RIGHT NOW."

The fans cheer Christian on but Regal refuses to come out. "If you won't come out here and face me, I'll come back there and find you." Christian starts to step through the ropes to head up the ramp but ECW General Manager Tiffany's music hits and she makes her way down the ramp, broken arm still in a sling.

"I owe you an apology because William Regal only did what he did to you because of me. Please, I implore you, let me handle this." Christian: "He's been nothing but disrespectful to you, to all of these fans, and to me. I am done with it." Tiffany: "He wants you to react like this." Christian: "Fine! He gets what he wants. I'm tired of it. You have the power to make this happe."

Regal and his flunkies come to the top of the ramp. "Why should I give you what I want when I hold the advantage over you? You obviously want me in that ring but how badly do you want me? Badly enough to give me an ECW Championship match?" Christian: "Absolutely! Give me a referee and let's do this thing." Tiffany: "You two are already scheduled in other matches."

Christian: "Reschedule them! Who cares? This is the building where I first won the ECW title, and I'm ready to defend it tonight in front of all of my PROVIDENCE PEEPS." Tiffany: "Well Mr. Regal, do you accept the challenge?" Regal: "No. I'm the one in control here. If you're offering me an ECW championship match I'll accept, but only on my terms." Christian: "What are your terms?" Regal: "If I accept and take my championship match against you, I want it to be in front of a deserving crowd and not these miserable cretins.

I want my championship match next week in front of my home crowd in England." Christian: "Then I guess I'll see you in England, BILL." Tiffany makes the match but says that Regal's flunkies are both banned from ringside. "One more thing Mr. Regal, you're in action NEXT." Regal starts to make his way down the ramp for that match, Tiffany and Christian stand waiting, and just as he gets to the apron Christian gives him a dropkick. Tiffany yells at him, the flunkies come to his aid, and we go to commercial with a WM26 promo.

Regal is still in the ring selling and acting like the back of his head and neck hurt as Lauren Mayhew gives introductions.

* William Regal v. Goldust

Byron Sexton and Josh Mathews are finally introduced as Goldie makes his ring entrance, much to the delight of the Providence crowd. Regal continues to sell (or perhaps play possum) and Sexton notes he looks annoyed to even have to have this match. The two start brawling as the crowd chants LET'S GO GOLDUST. Goldie gets the better of it and punches him in ground and pound, the ref pulls him off, Regal bails outside, and Dustin gives chase.

Regal finds it easier to toss Dustin out, but Goldie pulls the legs and sweeps him to the floor to give him more. Back in the ring Dustin goes for ten punches on the turnbuckle, but only gets to six before getting thrown off. Regal does the same to him but nobody counts for the heel. In fact when he grounds Dustin and starts clubbing him from behind with forearms there's a loud REGAL SUCKS chant. Goldie gets out and 30 seconds later he's on offense and hitting a snap slam for 2.5. Unfortunately that's the beginning of the end because Dustin misses a splash in the corner, snaps his head off the ringpost, and Regal gives him a knee trembler while he's dazed for 3. WINNER: WILLIAM REGAL.

Backstage Rosa Mendes runs into Zack Ryder and she has a conversation with him about being the guest ring announcer where he starts daydreaming about how hot she is with guitar music playing - it's like a Van Halen dreamscape. When he snaps back to reality she asks how her dress looks, is it hot? He stammers "you know it" and she goes AWW YOU'RE SWEET and smiles at him. He reflexively grips his water bottle and a huge SQUIRT goes in the air. Yes folks this is a rated PG show. We go to commercial.

We come back and Lauren Mayhew welcomes her, and Rosa says she's pretty nervous but she's been practicing all day. "The following contest has been scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Long Island, New York - Zack Ryder!" Sexton and Mathews discuss the fact he's smitten with her, and he certainly plays the part when he gets to the ring. "His opponent from Orangeburg, South Carolina - Shelton Benjamin!"

* Shelton Benjamin v. Zack Ryder

Josh Mathews reminds us that WM26 tickets go on sale this Saturday. Benjamin immediately tries to ground Ryder with amateur technique but when Ryder fights him off he settles for a hard shoulder tackle. Ryder immediately bails to the floor, starts to chat with Rosa, and Benjamin gives chase.

Ryder actually takes advantage of him coming back into the ring, while both announcers discuss the fact he's added a radio tower and his own face to his one-legged tights. The hot Providence crowd actually chants for Shelton - you don't hear that often. Ryder grounds him with a chinlock and Benjamin slowly works his way back to his feet, but a leg trip takes him right back down for a two count. Benjamin gets out a second time and they start to slug it out in the corner, with Shelton getting the better of it and popping the crowd with a high back bodydrop.

Shelton hits an overhead belly to belly suplex and Ryder rolls out to the floor. Benjamin throws him right back in. Ryder stares at Mendes after spearing Benjamin on the apron, while she applies lip gloss, and when he turns around Benjamin hits the playmaker for 3! WINNER: SHELTON BENJAMIN.

Commercial break with a promo for Survivor Series or for The Unauthorized History of DX - you can hardly tell which. When we return Pirate Paul and Katie Lea are in the ring complaining that nothing's been settled with The Hurricane yet. That of course is a cue for his music to play, and Byron Sexton must be taking cues from Matt Strike because he calls Hurricane "The Emerald Skywalker" as he makes his way to the ring. Hurricane has a black and green kendo stick in his hands.

"You wanted me? Here I am." Paul: "You do realize Halloween is over." Hurricane: "For some people it lasts all year long - just ask your sister!" Paul: "I've had enough of your lip." Hurricane: "I've had enough of you. What exactly is your problem citizen?" Paul: "You're a fraud. You've duped all these mindless soulless freaks into thinking you're a hero. I'm well educated, physically fit, have GREAT family values, but you're the one they look up to."

Hurricane: "Maybe that's because I don't call them mindless soulless freaks. Or maybe they like to have fun. Or maybe they like to fly high like I do. And let me tell you, chicks dig superheroes!" The crowd pops. Paul says they should have one more match to settle the score - lose and you unmask, win and me and my sister leave ECW forever. "In brightest day, in blackest night, The Hurricane will never back down from a fight. IT'S ON!!" I bet Green Lantern Fan just popped for that.

Backstage Abe Washington and Tony Atlas discuss that Tiffany owes them money for a whole new set after William Regal destroyed the old one last week. Washington says he'll even get a soundboard for Atlas so he can play farting noises. He knocks on the door and instead of Tiffany, VANCE ARCHER walks out.

Who is Vance Archer? Lance Hoyt - but now he's ECW's newest superstar, so sayeth Tiffany, who comes out the door behind him. Abe asks what his deal is and Tiffany says Vance is.. INTENSE. We go to commercial. When we come back it's time for a WWE Raw Rebound. I know I didn't need to hear Jillian sing a second time, ugh.

* Vance Archer v. Logan Jones

Vance Archer already has his own theme music, which sounds like a death metal apocalypse, and he's being given an undersized jobber from Providence for his debut match. Vance throws him out of the ring then gives him a stiff kick when he tries to come back in. One handed slam is followed by a delayed action neckbreaker for three. So much for Logan Jones being trained by Killer Kowalski. WINNER: VANCE ARCHER. Christian and Yoshi Tatsu vs. Big Zeke and Bad Vlad is next, but first these commercial messages for Batista - I Walk Alone.

* Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson v. Christian Cage & Yoshi Tatsu (ECW Main Event)

Regal's flunkies are already waiting in the ring when our heroes Christian and Yoshi come out to the entrance ramp at 10:56 and 10:57 PM EST respectively. They're only giving this match 8 minutes or less including the overrun, and I'm wondering why. The answer is probably that Zeke is still green as grass, but all Yoshi has to do when the match starts is sell for Zeke when he overpowers him, then come back with leg strikes and dropkicks - which is exactly what he does.

Zeke powers out at one when Tatsu tries a cover. The Moscow Mauler tags in to take his turn at Tatsu. Once again Tatsu tries to outquick Kozlov, but a double handed thrust to the chest cuts him off and Zeke tags back in for a big slam. Tatsu is clearly going to be our face-in-peril until Christian gets the hot tag. Ring the Bell just went live in the AngryMarks.com chatroom - meanwhile Zeke and Koz take turns tagging in and out to beat Tatsu down. Zeke puts him in a full nelson and tries to rip his arms off.

He escapes, Zeke charges and Tatsu ducks, Tatsu crawls over to get the tag while Zeke sells being stunned by hitting the turnbuckle. Christian is a house of fire until Koz catches him going for a top rope move and tosses him off. He tries to pick Christian up for a power bomb but is countered into a near fall. Zee makes the save but Christian and Tatsu work together to toss him out.

This gives Koz the time to recover and give Christian an overhead belly suplex. Christian ducks him coming over to the corner though and hits a DDT, sets up for the killswitch, rolls him over and GETS THE THREE COUNT - WINNERS: CHRISTIAN & YOSHI TATSU.

Regal immediately tries to jump him, Christian is ready, they start exchanging punches, but Zeke and Kozlov run in to help their comrade give him a 3-on-1 beatdown, with the flunkies pulling his prone body into the steel ringpost. Regal continues to mug him on the floor outside and give him headbutts. Regal finally cranks on his neck until he can't fight back any more and goes limp, and the heels stand over him to end the show.

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