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6.09.2009

Tha Raw Report

This is going to be a big fat pile of negative, so if you'd like click away from this article. I'm not holding anything back, off of a solid enough PPV they put this shit on TV. Batista is one of the worst mic men in the history of the company, but they put that stick in his hand weekly.

By the way, Kennedy Kennedy was fired due to being injury prone and/or a rumored confrontation backstage? Umaga was released for maybe being injury prone? Yet they keep this uncoordinated, untalented sack of shit on the roster? Anyone? Bueller? Spicoli? Anyone? Didn't think so.

So Vickie Guerrero is leaving the WWE. Dammit that sucks. I actually do mean that, I actually get a kick out of her character. But if the reasoning of wanting to spend more time with her girls is true then I don't blame her, I just wonder if Vinny Mac gave her the same line he gave Vinny Roo. "You should hire a nanny."

I did see something tonight that I think the E should run with, and that's an Englishman and the fakin' Jamaican feuding over the US strap. That's golden. It really is, and Bill and Kofi can put on some good matches, although they won't run with it, because MVP and Kofi will be right back at it soon enough. Face on face with Hardy and Regal running heel interference. Hooray beer.

The Miz is coming into his own, I'll say that. He still sucks but dude's an eight by WWE standards. Putting him into a feud with John Cena though, not that smart. That means Miz will have to carry matches, and that is a scary damn thought. Wow, that is scary, try not to have nightmares, and if you do I apologize.

You know, I'm a huge fan of standup comedy, and most of them can make me laugh with at least one joke, but I swear when the Miz busted out the "He may not be Tim Allen, but it's about to be tool time," I wanted to laugh, but couldn't force one out. Keep Miz and Cena away from forced comedy. It doesn't suit either one of them.

I will say though, that having Miz grow a set and go off on Show and Cena is a step toward making him into something more than a dick. I don't think that he's top guy material or anything, but he could be a staple of the card if they used him right.

Ready for some more cutting edge negativity? Triple H is back! Marks go fucking wild, the Triple H mark smarks go wild, but the rest of us are ready to tap the fuck out. I don't know how much more Triple H shear domination I can take. I really don't. It's horrible, it's the same shit week after week.

Those out there that are the Triple H marks/apologists/whathaveyou will want me crucified for this next comment, but Triple H is the same as Cena. Triple H can work better sure, but we've had this since 1998. It was Stone Cold Steve Austin who made the comment years ago after he walked out that you had 3-5 years on top and that was all.

Not if you marry the boss' daughter. I know I'm beating a dead fucking horse. So to answer the same shit I've answered before, yes he'd have been a multiple time champion, yes he'd have dominated the WWE for an incredible amount of time, and yes he'd have had rediculous pull backstage, but only to a certain extent.

He wouldn't take time off whenever and come back to the same spot, he wouldn't keep winning world title after world title only for the sake of breaking Ric Flair's record just so he could say he did. We'd never have to had sat through all this shit with Batista because H feels Batista is part of "his" legacy.

Sorry for this big pile of negativity, but I'll close this Raw Report as I have previously. My name is DJB and I'm helpless in the WWE Universe. Also just know that it's ok, you too can say that statement and feel a slight bit better about yourself.


6 comments: on "Tha Raw Report"

mach23 said...

What happen to the other raw report, it was a better recap of raw to a fuller extent. I enjoy reading peoples opinions but u also need the full review which was on on the other raw report that was taken off

D. Ross said...

Whoa, HHH looks thinner! Maybe he is trying to set an example for the returning Chris Masters. I was thinking earlier of my favorite wrestlers of all time and none of these champs make the list except perhaps Jericho. And the stuff I like about him is shit from years and years ago.

Giving The Shaminal the belt just ruins things. I am not gonna hate on him because he's married to Steph. Or because his legs are held together by hope. I am hating on him for not changing. He has done the same shit since he debuted. Eve Taker, HBK, and Jericho switched things up after a while. That stuff works for guys like Bret, Flair, and Hogan, but HHH's moveset has never changed. Knee facebuster, Spinebuster, Pedigree. That's it.

I say give The Miz a chance. Its not like anyone has a choice. Not too long ago people were shitting on Morrison and now hes the best thing since sliced bread (number 2...). I dont want anyone to suck. I would love if we could come on here and rave about how awesome shows are.

Adam said...

It's pretty shitty that Batista is on top of the roster but Kennedy and Umaga are fired cause they are injury prone. Batista runs down to the ring like he got a stick up his ass. Kennedy gets injured and then fired? but Batista gets injured and they give him the strap?

D.J.B. said...

Hey Mach23 if you're wanting the blow by blow recap check out the angry marks over at www.angrymarks.com Killa Kev has just what you need. We're the opinionated assholes, they're the detail oriented professionals. That last parts a joke, we're all assholes. Hope that helped.

Blazed and Confused said...

DJB you son of a bitch! I could ring your neck. You said in a comment earlier that Batista would be out for 9 months with this injury. I was so fucking excited. Now though I'm reading online that it's only 4. You had my hopes up. I am deeply hurt.

mach23 said...

so is batista gonna be stripped of the title because all 3 belts are being put on the line at next weeks raw 3 hour event and then hhh can be even closer to flairs record

and about my other post i just meant that when i first went to the site there were 2 raw reports up and the other one that isnt up anymore was a detailed one so i was just saying i like it when it is a little more detailed, i dont mind what u guys say because its your opinion and most of the time i agree with u guys anyway