The Bash Recap

Courtesy of Killa Kev of AngryMarks.com:

ECW Championship Scramble: champion "the Hardcore Legend" Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian Cage vs. "the All-American American" Jack Swagger vs. "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry vs. Fit Finlay

We're going to start out with Cage and Swagger, lock-up, Swagger backs Cage into the corner, but Cage reverses it. Swagger fights his way back out and knees Cage in the guts, clubs him in the back, headbutts him into the corner. Swagger lays in a few shoulder blocks to the midsection, punch to the head, whip off the ropes and Swagger tries to backdrop Cage, Cage slips out and slaps Swagger around a little.

Do-si-do off the ropes, Swagger picks up Cage and plants him into the mat with a slam, cover and just a two count. Swagger with a wear-down hold, converting it into an abdominal stretch on the mat, then picking him up for a pump handle slam over the knees. Swagger puts Cage on the top turnbuckle, Cage fights him off and goes for a sleeper hold, Swagger tries to run backwards into the buckle to break it, Cage flips over the top but Swagger holds on with a front face lock, puts Cage in the corner and beats him up. Fans start up a "Lets Go Chris-tian" / "Lets go Swa-ger!" counter chant.

Count clocks down and Finlay is in next, he quickly takes out both Cage and Swagger with forearm shots, sends Swagger out of the ring and then focuses in on Cage, leg drop, cover and a two count. Finlay with a stiff short-arm clothesline, whips Cage into the corner, charges, Cage with a boot up and the corkscrew elbow out of the middle buckle, cover, two count. Swagger grabs Cage as he bounces off the ropes, pulls him out and lays him out. Finlay with a dropkick to Swagger's face as Jack tries to get into the ring, but Swagger thumbs Finlay in the eye, rolls him up, 1-2-3. Swagger is the current ECW Champion.

Swagger throws Finlay out of the ring, tries to whip Christian in, but Cage with a sunset flip, pin attempt, two count. Cage slams Swagger, hooks the leg, cover, two count. Swagger returns the slam, sending Cage out of the ring. Tommy Dreamer now enters, Cage tries for a dropkick on Dreamer, Dreamer ducks it. Dreamer with a bulldog on Swagger, ducks a clothesline from Cage, hits a power slam, cover, two count. A DDT for Swinger puts him back down, Cage is put into the Tree of Woe and Dreamer charges with the hesitation dropkick in the corner. Swagger is back up, this time Dreamer doesn't get to counter as Swagger throws him head-first into Cage's midsection, both men thrown out of the ring. Swagger steps out and throws Dreamer head-first into the ECW announcer's table, tries to do the same with Finlay, but Finlay counters by throwing Swagger into the ringpost. Finlay throws Swagger in, throws him into the ringpost again, Celtic Cross, knee in the face for the cover, 1-2-3. Fit Finlay is the current ECW Champion.

Cage and Dreamer recover and they double-team on Finlay, until Cage clotheslines Dreamer from behind. Cage climbs to the top turnbuckle, Dreamer cuts him off and climbs up as well. Swagger slides into the ring, Cage knocks Dreamer off the ropes, Swagger with a clothesline on Dreamer, then runs up, clubs Cage in the back and they trade blows. Count clocks down and it's Mark Henry coming out w/ Tony Atlas. Henry clotheslines Dreamer, runs over to Swagger/Cage fighting, hits them with the chain-double suplex and takes out Dreamer in the process. Swagger thrown out, Cage press slammed out of the ring, Finaly back in and eats a headbutt from Henry. Dreamer tries for a cross-body block off the top, Henry catches him, World's Strongest Slam, 1-2-3. Mark Henry is the current ECW Champion.

Finlay gets beat up more, Swagger runs in and gets beat up, Cage runs in and eats a headbutt. Swagger and Finlay team up to take out Henry's quad, Cage comes over to help and all three help to kick him out of the ring. Cage tries for an inside cradle on Finlay, two count. Finlay whips Cage into the turnbuckle chest-first, then suicide dive on Swagger to the outside. Three minutes left in the match, Dreamer with a dive on Henry, Cage with a dive on Dreamer, and everybody but Henry is now out on the outside of the ring, laid out. Henry climbs up the turnbuckles, going for a dive of his own?? No, Swagger runs in and takes him out from behind, Swagger with a moonsault off the middle buckle, hooks the leg, 1-2-3. Jack Swagger is the current ECW Champion.

2:10 left in the match, swagger is defending the ring, but Henry gets back to his feet and takes out Swagger from behind, Swagger hung up on the ropes and Henry with the guillotine legdrop on the ropes, SLIDES THROUGH THE ROPES!! Ouch! Cage gets in the ring and hits Swagger with the Killswitch, cover, Dreamer runs in and breaks it up with the DDT, cover, 1-2-3. Tommy Dreamer is the current ECW Champion. 1:10 left in the match, Swagger tries for a schoolboy on Dreamer, Finlay breaks it up, Finlay with a pin, Swagger and Cage break it up, 45 seconds left, Swagger covers Dreamer, two count. Finlay with a DDT on Swagger, Henry breaks it up. Henry covers Swagger, two count as Dreamer breaks it up. 10 seconds left, everybody tries for a pin at once, but nobody can get a clean pin in!

WINNER and STILL ECW Champion, Tommy Dreamer! We run the highlights, backstage Edge runs into Teddy Long's office and demands to be inserted into tonight's WWE World Heavyweight Championship match. Long frankly tells Edge that he's had his shot and he's not getting any help. Edge tells Long that he's going to be out of a job.

WWE Intercontinental Championship vs. Mask Match: champion Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr.

Mysterio's mask is on the line here, if he loses the match he gives up the mask. Todd Grisham & Jim Ross introduce us to the match as Mysterio comes out, then they run down the history of the feud. Jericho comes out next, heels the crowd, Charles Robinson your referee. We lock-up, Jericho tries to go for the mast, Mysterio fights him off into the corner, Jericho counters with a knee to the midsection, club in the back, then a side headlock, shouting, "C'mon Mysterio! C'mon 6-1-9! C'mon 6-1-9!" Mysterio whips Jericho off the ropes but eats a shoulder tackle from the champ, drawing boos from the crowd. Mysterio leapfrogs over Jericho, but Jericho with another kick to the midsection, Mysterio counters with a headscissor takeover from the middle rope, sends Jericho out of the ring, tries for a baseball slide that Jericho catches and slings Mysterio into the ringside barrier. OUCH! The ringside fans start a "Y-2-J! Y-2-J!" chant that he actually acknowledges, but the rest of the fans boo.

Jericho pulls Mysterio back into the ring, catapults him neck-first into the bottom rope, delayed vertical suplex, cover, two count. Jericho with a chinlock/armlock combination to wear Mysterio down, taunting him. Mysterio gets to his feet, elbows and kicks loose, but Jericho clubs him in the back again, plants him on the top rope, club to the back, climbs up and punches Mysterio in the back of the head before trying to rip the mask off. Mysterio elbows Jericho off the top turnbuckle, turns around, seated senton, bounces off the ropes and Jericho counters with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker over the knee, cover by the champion, two count only. Jericho kicks Mysterio in the back of the head, then drives him backwards into the corner before choking him with the boot, ref breaks it up. Jericho pulls him back up, drags him to the opposite corner and headbutts him into the turnbuckle, then walks off. Jericho with a baseball slide dropkick into Mysterio's side, sending him out of the ring.

Jericho reaches through the ropes to bring Mysteiro back in, tries to suplex him in over the ropes, Mysterio floats over, punches, whip off the ropes, Jericho serves up a knee to the face, dropkick to the face, cover and a hook of the legs, Mysterio barely kicks out. Jericho taunts Mysterio even more, grabs both arms and pulls them behind Mysterio's back. Mysterio back to his feet, kicks Jericho in the knees from behind, kick to the face, forearm smash, whip off the ropes, reversal, Mysterio holds on, Jericho charges, Mysterio pulls down the top rope and Jericho sails over the top, injuring his legs. Mysterio climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits a seated senton on Jericho outside of the ring, but Mysterio crashes and burns himself. Both men take a breather, slug it out, get back into the ring, Mysterio slingshots in with a cross-body block on Jericho, cover, two count.

Mysterio whips Jericho to the corner, reversal, Mysterio floats over, dropkicks Jericho head-first into the turnbuckle, goes back outside, springboards off one set of ropes, over to the second set into the moonsault on Jericho, covert, two count! Damn! Mysterio tries for another slingshot moonsault on Jericho, but Jericho catches him, plants him, cover and a two count. Jericho stomps on Mysterio a few times as Mysterio crawls to a corner. Jericho comes over and doles out some punches. Fans start a "6-1-9! 6-1-9!" chant. Jericho whips Mysterio into the corner, reversal and Jericho eats the buckle, staggers out, Mysterio with a moonsault off the top rope, cover, two count. Mysterio bounces off the ropes, tries for a flying legscissor, Jericho steps back, drops Mysterio on his face and then slaps on the Sharpshooter. Mysterio crawls for the ropes... Jericho tries to stop it, Mysterio gets the ropes though, referee breaks it.

Jericho charges Mysterio, Mysterio pulls down the top rope, Jericho sails over but holds onto the rope, Mysterio tries for the 6-1-9, Jericho ducks out of the way and counters with a clothesline from the apron. Jericho tries to climb to the top turnbuckle, Mysterio runs over, enziguri into the head, climbs up and goes for a hurracanrana off the top, Jericho holds onto the legs and instead turns it into a powerbomb! Jericho covers, puts his legs on the middle ropes, Mysterio kicks out! Ringside fans start another "Y-2-J! Y-2-J!" chant. Jericho tries for the Lionsault, Mysterio rolls out of the way, then a legscissor into a roll-up, two count. Mysterio with a drop toe hold on Jericho, sets up for the 6-1-9, Jericho counters with a airplane spin into a backbreaker, but Mysterio re-counters with a tornado DDT, cover, two count.

Both men take a moment to clear the cobwebs, Mysterio with kicks to the back of Jericho's legs, bounces off the ropes, tries for a cross-body block and Jericho counters with the Codebreaker. Mysterio looks DEAD! Jericho takes forever to go for the cover, hooks the leg... 1... 2... Mysteiro kicks out! Referee gets an earful from Jericho over the slow count. Jericho falls back on the ropes, takes a breather, then takes out some aggression on Mysterio with kicks to the back and some taunting. Jericho picks up Mysterio like a rag doll, Snake Eyes face-first into the turnbuckle. Jericho puts Mysterio up on the top turnbuckle, climbs up, delivers a pair of headbutts, climbs to the top turnbuckle, tries to toss Mysterio across the ring, Mysterio's feet hooks the ropes, Jericho falls to his back, Mysterio counters with a dropkick, goes for the 6-1-9 on the ropes, Jericho steps back and whips Mysterio into the Sharpshooter again!

Mysterio rolls under Jericho to break it, Jericho tries to pick him up, Mysterio floats over for a pin attempt, Jericho blocks it by sitting on Mysterio, Jericho goes for the pin, Mysterio flips him over, two count, Jericho flips him over, two count... JERICHO HAS THE MASK... MYSTERIO HAS A SECOND MASK ON! Jericho dropkicked into the ropes... 6-1-9 from Mysterio... slingshot splash off the ropes... cover... 1-2-3!

WINNER and NEW WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, Rey Mysterio Jr. We play the highlights from the match, then play the Trump/McMahon showdown from this past week's Raw that put Raw back in the hands of Vince McMahon. We then go back stage where Jericho demands an immediate rematch from WWE SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long. Long tells him he's denied, and says that next month will mark his 5th year as a WWE GM, the longest running GM in WWE history. He says he didn't get there by giving in to crybaby demands. Jericho threatens Teddy Long's job, and tells him to change his mind.

No DQ/No Countout Grudge Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. the Great Khali (w/ Rungen Singh)

Ziggler start off with punches, Khali tosses him across the ring, whips him into the corner, big chop to the chest out of the corner, Ziggler rolls around the mat. Khali whips him into another corner, Ziggler with a dropkick to the knee, puts Khali in the corner, leaps up and tries to lay in some punches, Khali throws him over the top outside of the ring, Khali injures his knees on the way down. Khali clotheslines Ziggler on the floor, another big chop to the chest, tries another and Ziggler ducks out of the way. Ziggler with a pair of dropkicks off the apron, goes for a third, Khali with another chop to the chest. "Hand like a skillet!" comments Grisham. Ross chimes in, "I got hit with a skillet once, second marriage, wasn't nice!" LOL

Ziggler grabs a chair and hits Khali in the knee a few times, hits a couple of chop blocks to the back of the knee, knee to the side of the head, cover, two count. Ziggler lays in punches and goes for a front face lock on Khali, even trying for a guillotine choke?? Fans start cheering for Khali, he pumps his fist, picks up Ziggler and just drops him face-first, followed by a clothesline and a kick to the face. Khali rallies the fans, sets up for a Khali Chop...

EXPLOSION!!! It's Kane! He's coming down to the ring! Ziggler uses the distraction to grab the chair and take out Khali's knee! Kane steps into the ring, Ziggler slides out of the way. Kane picks up the chair and cracks Khali over the back, then in the head, then to the back again as Khali goes down and eats a half-dozen chair shots to the body! Kane throws the chair aside and steps out of the ring, walks to the back. Ziggler slips in the ring, hooks the leg, 1-2-3.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. We replay Kane's attack on Khali. Backstage Mr. McMahon greets Teddy Long in his office, says he has come to apologize to Long for what he said on SmackDown this past week... until he heard Long gloating about his long tenure and says that he's accomplished "absolutely nothing!" McMahon tells Long that his predicessors including Mike Adamle and Eric Bischoff all made their marks, and Long had better do the same.

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship: champions Carlito & Primo Colon vs. Priceless (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, Jr.)

Before the match start, WWE SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long comes out and announces that he's making this a TRIPLE THREAT match... by adding the team of EDGE AND CHRIS JERICHO! Priceless tries to take advantage of this by attacking the Colons before the bell, but things settle down quickly.

Colons with the early offensive on DiBiase, quickly tagging off and on. DiBiase finally gets a jawjacker on Primo, Jericho blind tags himself in, Primo back drops him, and Rhodes gets a blind tag on Jericho, front face lock on Primo, tags in DiBiase, they trade blows, Primo gets the upper-hand with kicks, leg sweep, elbow drop, cover, two count. Carlito tags in and dropkicks DiBiase in the face as Primo leapfrogs him, cover, two count. Carlito with a reverse chinlock, then a sleeper on DiBiase. DiBiase gets to his feet, Carlito puts him in the corner, Primo tags in, punch to the face, whip off the ropes, Primo goes for a hip toss, DiBiaes blocks it, elbow to the face, forearm into Carlito's face, Rhodes tags in and takes over the attack on Primo. Whip off the rops by Rhodes, reversal, Primo eats another elbow to the face.

DiBiase tags in and double-armwringer into a clohtesline by Priceless. DiBiase tags in Primo, Carlito runs over to chase him off. Primo gets whipped chest-first into the corner by Priceless as Rhodes tags in. Edge and Jericho frustrated that they can't get a tag in, Priceless keeping the action in their corner of the ring. Rhodes with a snap mare into a chicken wing. Primo powers out, gets to his feet, chest to the midsection, Jaw Jacker, Rhodes rolls across the ring, Edge blind tags himself in, goes for a spear, Primo leapfrogs him, Edge runs into the opposite corner and DiBiase blind tags himself in. Snap mare on Primo, followed by a few elbow drops to the chest, cover, two count. Primo with a schoolboy, cover, two count. DiBiase runs down Primo with a knee to the face. Rhodes tags in, DiBiase hems him up and Rhodes with a standing dropkick into the face, cover, two count. Rhodes with a jackknife cover, two count.

Rhodes with kicks to the back of the head, then a head vice submission wrapping his legs around Primo's head and tilting the head sideways. Primo punches Rhodes in the face, flips him over for a pin, two count, Rhodes counters with a short-arm clohtesline, another cover and a two count. Rhodes picks up Primo, Primo with punches to the midsection, tries for a tag, Rhodes cuts him off with a thumb to the eye. Rhodes tries for some sort of submission over the back.. not sure what it is. Primo keeps wiggling around, Edge runs in and pulls Primo off, Rhodes gets in his face about it, returns to Primo, Primo kicks him off. Rhodes tags in DiBiase who cuts off Primo from the tag again, whip off the ropes, Primo with a kick to the chest then backdrrops DiBiase over the top rope. Rhodes jump off to roll DiBiase back in the ring then make a blind tag, Carlito tags in and hits a cannonball off the top, lays in punches, whip off the ropes, boot to Rhode's misection, kneelift, clothesline, whip off the ropes, reversal, Carlito nails the reverse springboard elbow, cover, DiBiase breaks up the pin, Primo dropkicks DiBiase out of the ring, Jericho runs in, codebreaker on Primo, Carlito throws him out, thorws Rhodes aside, tags Edge in the face, thorws Rhodes into the turnbuckle!

Carlito tries to pull Rhodes out of the corner, Rhodes holds onto the ropes, Edge blind tags in, Carlito with the Back Stabber, goes for the corner, referee refuses to count! Carlito gets up to complain, referee points out the legal man, Carlito turns around... SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR! Edge covers... 1... 2... 3

WINNER and NEW WWE UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, EDGE AND CHRIS JERICHO! And with that, Chris Jericho becomes the first WWE wrestler to hold EVERY WWE title available to him during his run! He was already a WWE Grand Slam and Triple Crown Champion, he was only missing the WWE World Tag Team Championships... and now history has been made! And, ladies and gentlemen, I've been calling it for months!

Backstage Rhodes & DiBiase complain to WWE Champion Randy Orton about losing their titles, Randy Orton tells them that their loss is meaningless, it doesn't matter, Orton needs them for his match later tonight. DiBiase goes off on Orton, telling him he didn't sign up to be a lackey for him. Orton tells DiBiase that perhaps he made a mistake returning. DiBiase sarcastically wishes Orton good luck in his match tonight and storms off. Rhodes says he's going to go talk to DiBiase.

WWE Women's Championship: champion Melina Perez vs. Michelle McCool (w/ Alicia Fox)

Quick introductions for both women, bell rings, they charge for the lock-up, McCool with a knee to the midsectio and a club to the back, Perez fires back with forearm shtos to the face, bounces off the ropes, McCool tries for a choke slam but Perez blocks it, rolls up McCool, pin attempt. Perez is all over the place with the offense, clotheslines McCool, two count. Perez throws McCool onto the wropes, wraps an arm through the top rope and tries to snap it off, referee breaks it up. McCool counters with a dropkick to Perez's patella, then lays in with kicks to the knee. Perez tries to use her other leg to kick McCool off, but McCool with the ground 'n pound, cover, two count.

McCool grabs the injured leg and whips it around the ring a few times, then throws Perez into the corner, Perez stumbles on her injured knee and falls. McCool picks her up, wraps the knee around the middle rope and pulls, kicks the knee, Perez crumples. McCool slides outside, grabs the leg, slams it into the ringpost then the top of the stairs. McCool puts the foot between the steps and the ring, then kicks the steps. McCool drags Perez to the middle of the ring, cover, two count. McCool picks u Perez, tilt-a-whirl gutwrench powerbomb over the knee, then grabs Perez's injured leg and smacks her in the back of the head with it! McCool throws her down like a rag doll, Perez crawls off to the corner, McCool keeps up the kicks to the injured leg, backs up and tries for a Yakuza Kick, Perez side steps it, McCool is hung up in the ropes. Perez uses elbows but tries for a knee to the midsection and falls.

McCool follows up with a chop block to the back of the injured knee, tries to whip Perez off the ropes, Perez hangs on, uses kicks and elbows to block it. McCool puts Perez in the corner, Perez hangs on, McCool drags her out and tries for a powerbomb, Perez rolls out of it, dropkick to McCool's head, cover, two count. Perez limps up, McCool trips her, covers, two count. McCool drives Perez into the corner, sets her on the top turnbuckle, climbs up for a superplex, Perez punches her off, flies off the top with a cross body block, lands on the injured knee, goes for a cover, 1... 2... Alicia Fox grabs McCool's foot and plants it on the rope, points it out to the referee who stops the count. Perez dropkicks Fox in the face, but that allows McCool to pick up Perez and slam her to the mat, cover, two count.

McCool tries for the Faith Breaker (aka the Styles Clash if you watch TNA Wrestling), slams Perez to the mat, 1-2-3.

WINNER and NEW WWE Women's Champion, Michelle McCool! Second record-setting match tonight, Michelle McCool becomes the first person to hold both the WWE Divas Championship and the WWE Women's Championship. McCool celebrates on the ropes, then steps down on the floor as Alicia Fox raises her hand. Perez is laid out cold on the mat.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: champion CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Punk is introduced first, showing two things: a) Jeff Hardy is being pushed as the babyface in this feud (even though Punk's done nothing to be a heel) and b) WWE likes ticking off the smarks who believe the champion should always be introduced last! *hehe* Hardy introduced next and he limps out to glad hand with the fans. Fans with a SOLID "HAR-DY! HAR-DY! HAR-DY!" chant that Punk just grins at.

Bell rings and both men work the crowd for the cheers for Hardy, we lock up, Punk powers Hardy into the corner, we're not getting a clean break here... at least not without argument from Punk, proving his point. Lock up again, Hardy with an aggressive side headlock, Punk powers out of it and reverses the headlock. Hardy shoots Punk off the ropes, Punk takes him down with a shoulder block. Both men back up, take their time, Punk with a go-behind for the reverse waistlock, Hardy reverses it, Punk looking for a counter goes for a simple elbow to the side of the head, into a hammer lock, hardy reverses it, side headlock into a takeover on the mat, pulls him back up into the side headlock. Punk shoots Hardy off, but Hardy holds on and puts the breaks on in the middle of the ring.

Punk gets to his feet, just overpowers Hardy, takes him down with his own side headlock takeover. Hardy gets up, shoots Punk off, and Punk with another shoulder tackle, fans boo it. Punk floats over Hardy, Hardy floats over Punk, and Punk tries for the Go To Sleep, Hardy wiggles out, rolls up Punk, two count. Hardy tris for the Twist of Fate, Punk blocks it, Hardy stumbles back to the ropes, Punk charges, Hardy backdrops him over the top to the floor and follows up with a slingshot cross-body block to the floor. Hardy pulls the steel ringsteps out, picks up Punk and throws him shoulder-first into the ringside barrier. Hardy steps back, launches himself off the steps for a leg lariat, Punk side-steps it and Hardy crashes into the ringside barrier. Punk rolls into the ring and tells the referee to start a countout. Punk runs over at five and distracts the referee, forcing the referee to stop the count for a moment. Punk takes a break in the corner, Hardy dives into the ring at 9 (thanks to an additional six second break). Punk quickly covers Hardy, two count as Hardy kicks out, holding his left leg.

Punk sits Hardy up and nails him with kicks and knees to the back, then wraps his legs around Hardy's head for a Figure Four Headlock (that's a move? Is that in the BBBOWM??) Punk rolls Hardy over, covers, two count. Punk picks up Hardy and nails a backbreaker over the knee, cover, hooks the leg, two count. Punk takes his time setting Hardy up, goes back to the Figure Four Headlock, shouting at Hardy, "Get up, Jeff! Get up!" Punk breaks it off, tries for a guillotine legdrop off the top rope, Hardy rolls out of the way and limps off to the corner. Punk recovers, charges, Hardy side-steps it and Punk eats the turnbuckle face-first! Hardy leaps off the corner with the Whisper 'O the Wind, goes for the cover, two count as Punk kicks out. Both men take their time getting to their feet, Hardy is up first, bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Punk, another clothesline, a third and then inverted Atomic Drop on Punk, followed by a split-leg dropkick to the midsection, cover, one...two... Punk kicks out.

Hardy picks up Punk in a front face lock, picks him up and front face slam into the mat. Hardy rolls under the ropes, climbs to the top turnbuckle, Punk rolls out of the ring, thinking he was avoiding the impact, Hardy steps down and runs across the apron to deliver a flying clohtesline on Punk! Hardy rolls Punk in, dropkick to the back sends Punk head-first into the corner. Hardy charges for the pendulum dropkick, Punk avoids it, tries for the GTS, Hardy holds the rope, Punk counters with a roundhouse kick, running knee to the face, and a bulldog out of the corner! Punk covers, but only gets a two count! Punk takes his time getting up, waits for Hardy to get to his feet, kick to the knee, kick to the othe rknee, roundhouse kick, paintbrus slaps, Hardy ducks the spinning backfist and counters with the Twist of Fate! Hardy peels off his shirt... climbs to the top turnbuckle... Swanton Bomb.... CRASH AND BURN as Punk rolls ut of the way!

Fans are calling for the GTS, but Punk takes his time getting to his feet, and then calls for the GTS. Punk picks up Hardy, Hardy slumps. Punk again picks him up, Hardy with the inside cradle, 1-2-KICKOUT and an angry CM Punk kicks Hardy in the back of the head, sets up for the GTS, Hardy wiggles out and hits a SECOND Twist of Fate, Punk lands near the corner. Fans explode as Hardy climbs to the top turnbuckle... SWANTON BOMB CONNECTS! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!

WINNER and NEW WWE WORLD ... NO! Referee says NO PIN! He says Punk's foot was UNDER the bottom rope! We hit the replay... and it was! But the referee counted three BEFORE he sees it, but he's correcting it now! Hardy is arguging with the referee, fans are booing... Punk is trying to pull himself up by the ropes. Referee informs Punk of his decision and is allowing him to get to his feet. Fans are ardently chanting for Hardy. Referee restarts the match, Hardy tries for another Twist of Fate, Punk counters with a GTS, Hardy wiggles out but inadvertently pokes Punk in the eye! Referee gives Punk time to recover. Hardy tries to come over several times to grab Punk, referee pushing him back... Punk is holding his hands over his eyes, referee turns around CM PUNK BLASTS THE REFEREE IN THE BACK WITH A KICK! Punk staggers backwards into the corner, holding his eye, unable to see what he just did! Referee pulls himself up, turns around, Punk realizes what happened and tries to claim innocence, but the referee calls for the DQ!

WINNER AS A RESULT OF A DISQUALIFICATION, Jeff Hardy! CM Punk retains the title! Fans start a "BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!" chant, Punk tries to plead with the referee to restart the match, referee won't do it. Punk takes his title and leaves... Jeff Hardy rolls out of the ring, spins Punk around, they trade words, Punk tries to explain his eye, Hardy says Punk kicked the referee on purpose... and hauls off and hits Punk in the eye again! Hardy throws Punk into the ring and beats the hell out of him! Punk cowers up, trying to protect his eye! Referees run in to break up the fight, Hardy is getting all the cheers here even though he just attacked the injured champion! Hardy is finally restrained, another referee helps Punk to the back, Punk still holding his eye. Hardy holds the ring acting all pissed off as the fans cheer for him, finally leaves.

Backstage the Colons burst into Teddy Long's office to complain about inserting Edge & Jericho int the tag team match. Long says he knew that they were going to complain, but he was under pressure from Mr. McMahon to do something, and he's standing behind his decision. "Now you two can get to steppin'!" proclaims the GM! WORD! Carlito & Primo are not happy.

Elsewhere, Randy Orton is trying to call Cody Rhodes on his cellphone, gets the voicemail.

John Cena vs. Mike "the Miz" Mizanin

This should be a fun, short match, bell rings, and the fans start chanting for Cena. I lose all my video, I come back in time to see Cena trying to slam Miz, but Miz grabbing the ropes to break it and going on the offensive. Miz climbs to the top turnbuckle, double axehandle smash off the top on Cena's head! Miz coves, two count. Mizanin with a snap suplex, cover, two count. Mizanin drills Cena right in the eyes, kick to the side of the head, whips Cena into the corner chest-first and catches him with a clohtesline out of the buckle, cover and a two count. Cena targets the back of Cena's neck with a kneedrop, then charges across the ring with a baseball slide dropkick that sends Cena out of the ring. Mizanin tosses him back in, cover, two count.

Mizanin kicks Cena in the back of the head a few times, then pulls Cena up to drill him between the eyes a few more times. Cena blocks a punch and fires back with punches, whips Mizanin off the ropes, reversal, Cena nails Mizanin with a pair of clotheslines, ducks the wild punch by Mizanin and plants him with the side slam and... you know what time it is, kids! YOU! CAN'T! SEE! ME! BOOM! The Five Kunckle Shuffle... into the Attitude Adjustement... DELIVERED! Cena rolls Mizanin over, locks in the STF, Mizanin taps out!

WINNER: John Cena. Nope, you didn't miss much, it was a good piss break match, it went exactly as you wanted it to, this one was for the fans! Cena stands in front on Mizanin's face, turns around and wipes off his feet, he's done with this scrub!

WWE Championship - Three Stages of Hell Match: champion Randy Orton vs. Triple H

Orton is introduced first, and a nice 30 seconds of slience after his intro so fans can get in their "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" chants before Triple H makes his arrival.

First Stage of Hell: Wrestling Match and we get started with both men throwing blows, Triple H with the face buster early, puts Orton in the corner, lays in more punches, referee has to step in and pull Triple H off. Orton is whipped out of the corner, Trips charges, Orton puts a boot up, slides out of the ring, racks Triple H on the ringpost, NOPE Triple H kicks him off! Oh yeah, Triple H's left quad is taped up too, so that is Orton's target. Triple H reaches over the ropes, pulls Orton up on the apron, suplexes him back in the ring, cover and a two count. Triple H clubs Orton in the back, whips him off the ropes, ducks down leaving Orton free to kick him right in the face, Triple H counters with the set-up for the Pedigree, Orton kicks the injured quad to stop it.

Orton slides out of the ring, drags Triple H over to the ringpost again, punches on the taped leg, then slams it into the ringpost. Triple H gets back on his feet and limps away, Orton follows him into the corner, wraps the leg over the middle rope, kicks the quad, punches Triple H in the head a few times, and the challenger falls to the mat. Orton pulls Trips out to the middle of the ring, kicks to the quad, sets up for a kneedrop on the quad. Triple H counters with a facebuster, but Orton kicks Triple H out of the ring, and Orton wants the referee to count Triple H out. Tripls gets up on the apron, Orton kicks him in the face. Orton reaches through the ropes again to grab Triple H, Triple H pulls a chair out from under the ring and blasts Orton in the head, drawing the DQ.

WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL, RANDY ORTON! Triple H doesn't let up as he just KILLS Orton with the chair, crushing the edge of the chair into the back of Orton's neck! Referee breaks off the assault, throws the chair aside, and Orton falls out of the ring.

Second Stage of Hell: Falls Count Anywhere and Triple H slides out of the ring, rolls Orton over, 1-2-3. WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL, TRIPLE H!

Wow, you thought this was going to be a marathon 45 minute match, NOPE! They're wrapping this up in about 15 minutes! They roll the stretcher out, tape off the finish line...

Third Stage of Hell: Stretcher Match and we get started by Triple H putting Orton face-first on the stretcher, pushing it up the ramp, Orton looks to be out cold, The Game is at the top of the ramp... Orton pops up, kicks the end of the stretcher into Triple H and right into the taped-up leg! Orton with the chop block to the back of the leg! Playing possum, great job, champ! They go back down to the ring area near the announcer's table, Orton picks up Trips and delivers an Atomic Drop across the ring barrier! Triple H falls into the crowd, Orton follws out and punches HHH in the head, going further into the stadium, Orton beating the piss out of Helmsley, throwing him face-first into an equipment area, European Uppercut, then just throws down bombs on him! Fans are cheering for Triple H as he fights Orton back with Hogan-esque right fists before clotheslining Orton back over the barricade into the ringside area.

Orton pulls off some padding after he hits Triple H in the wing-ding, then grabs his tights and throws him head-first into the exposed steel! Orton picks up the padding and clubs Triple H in the back with it... and yes, that DOES hurt just a little. Orton picks up Triple H and nails a belly to back suplex on Triple H into the steel skeleton of the barrier! OUCH OUCH OUCH! Orton drags the stretcher over to Triple H, lines it up to the ramp, picks up Triple H by the neck and drags him over to the stretcher, lays him out. Triple H pops right back up and punches Orton in the head, Orton responds with a kick to the midsection and whips Triple H face-first into the ringsteps. Ringside fans are cheering on Orton. Triple H rolls into the ring, Orton rips apart the steel ring steps and throws the top section into the ring.

Orton gets back into the ring, picks up the steps, fans are cheering for Triple H to watch out... Orton goes to strike, Triple H with a drop toe hold that causes Orton to hit himself in the head with the steps! Triple H uses the steps to pull himself up, then picks up the steps and knocks out Orton with them! Triple H rolls out of the ring, pulls the stretcher over to ring side, reaches in the ring and drags Orton's near-lifeless body to the edge of the apron and onto the stretcher. Triple H starts to push the stretcher up the ramp, Orton starts to stir... realizes where he is, kicks Triple H in the face! Triple H leaps up on the stretcher and pounds away at Orton... the stretcher rolls back down the ramp and falls off the edge! Both men crash and burn onto the steel ramp!

Triple H tries to put Orton back on the stretcher, Orton blocks it and slams Triple H face-first into the stretcher, drags his body across it, and uses it as a stage for that hanging DDT onto the ramp! Ringside fans chant "HOLY SHIT!" as both men take themselves out, and take a breather. Orton gets to his feet first... realizes Triple H is prone, sets up for the punt, charges... Triple H gets out of the way and Orton's foot hits the bottom of the stretcher! Triple H gets to his feet, tries to finish off Orton with the Pedigree, but Orton with the presence of mind backdrops Triple H onto the stretcher! Orton takes a moment to compose himself, then pushes the stretcher up the ramp. We're at the top of the ramp... Triple H is stirring... he falls off the stretcher right in front of the finish line! Orton whails on Triple H with punches and finishes with a kick. Orton steps back and sets up for the RKO... trying... Triple H blocks it and shoves Orton into the video wall! Triple H reels, gets himself up... snatches up Orton... Pedigree on the stage!

Triple H crawls over to the stretcher, grabs it by the bottom, drags it towards Orton. Triple H picks up Orton's body and puts it on the stretcher... three feet from the line... Triple H shoves... CODY RHODES! he blocks the stretcher, Triple H immediately on the attack, throws Rhodes into the video wall, Triple H goes back to the stretcher, Triple H grabs the stretcher, pulls it forward... TED DIBIASE WITH THE PEARL HARBOR! They start brawling, Triple H knocks the stretcher over, Orton on his back. It's now two-on-one as Triple H tries to fight off Legacy, but it's no use now as two fresh men beat and kick Triple H down! They break off their attack to pick Orton... but Triple H... GRABS A SLEDGE HAMMER FROM UNDER A SECTION OF THE STAGE?

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Triple H lays out Rhodes & DiBiase, but Orton catches him from behind. Orton picks up the section of stage that Triple H lifted to grab the sledgehammer, hits him in the head with it, puts Triple H on the stretcher and gives a shove over the line...

WINNER and STILL CHAMPION, RANDY ORTON! Orton picks up his title and holds it up in victory... Triple H picks up the sledge hammer, and stands behind Orton...waiting... seething... Orton slowly start to turn around... and Tripl H drills him in the back of the head! LIGHTS OUT!
Wow, a LOT of fans are now booing but Triple H's music drowns out the boos as he staggers to the back. Triple H turns back around, shoves the ref out of the way and delivers a D-X style crotch chop over Orton's lifeless body!

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