The draft was last week. This week was something completely different. I don't even know where to begin. At Backlash (Backlash? I'm not good enough to call Backlash?) there is going to be a six man tag team match for the WWE Championship. Those always work. So tonight we have the WWE Champion facing his rival in a one on one no disqualification match. It's not for anything though, just giving a match away for free that they shouldn't.I remember there used to be these things, they were called feuds, and they were built with a slow burn. Stick with me people, I know that's hard to get your head around in the current world of wrestling, but they were real, and they were real good. This isn't a new topic but it's still maddening.
You know what, fuck you Brian Gerwitz, or whoever is booking the majority of this shit. I've been trying to cut back on cursing, but what the fuck? You have the six man tag team clusterfuck coming up, but instead of fucking let that build to a one on one match again down the road you give us a one on one no dq for free with nothing on the line? Nothing on the line.
Don't feed me that whole bragging rights bullshit, this is pro wrestling, in some cases logic does not apply. Who needs bragging rights when there is a really big, really shiny, somewhat heavy belt to be worn or carried? I love seeing Triple H eat a loss, but at least make it matter or be to some local jobroni.
Want to know something else, even if you don't I'm going to tell you. The WWE Draft does not mean shit. In the first 28 minutes of "Raw" CM Punk, Kane and Chris Jericho were featured. Jericho opened the fucking show. Please tell me that wasn't just to get Cena in the damn ring. More on Cena in a second.
I realized they were across the pond in Jolly Old England. Well pip pip cheerio, that doesn't make a goody toot fruit shit. If you're going to push something keep pushing it. Don't give the first quarter plus of "Raw" to "SmackDown" guys. Wasn't the point of the whole brand split to have the brands "compete," and give the image of dueling companies? Didn't it start that way?
Matter of fact the brand split happened with Vince and Ric because they each "owned" half of the E, quite simply a "you take yours I'll take mine and see who ends up being better," type of deal. Not anymore. Now it's "you take yours I take mine but whenever I get a wild hair up my ass I'll take yours too." Duh, I like-a to take de udders they make nice playtimes. Seriously, sometimes I feel like I should write the articles that way.
One more thing, I know they're in England and that's a big deal or whatever(seriously no offense to the English but damn) and they need to get in as many matches as they can, but the first two matches were short. I didn't even want to waste my time in rewinding to time the bitches. If someone is nice enough, please do that.
To all you Santino haters, screw off. Seriously, the best part of "Raw" is the Santino segment(s). The Santina/Santino thing isn't that great, but it's still the best part of "Raw" right now. John Cena may be a funny dude, but as far as wrestling, Santino has more talent in his fake unibrow extension than Cena has. Sorry Cena, sorry CeNation. Santina shuttupayaface ok.
Beth Phoenix appears to be getting hotter. Whatever the Rosa Mendes is hot too. Melina is hott. You know that's one good part of "Raw," there is hotness. Wait, Melina is on "SmackDown," but she too needed to be on "Raw" as well. Michael Cole kept saying "final appearance before officially," since when do you get time to come back and say goodbye? So first 45 minutes add three more "SmackDown" superstars, Santina/Melina/Khali that took up ample time.
So my rant is done. By the way, I think the WWE Championship six man tag should be an eight man tag with hall of fame entrants thrown in. Legacy should grab Bill Watts and H's boys should take Howard Finkel. Watts should pin Finkel and Orton should be the champion. That would be a fitting end.
Tha Results:
* Randy Orton def. WWE Champion Triple H in a No Disqualification Match
* Big Show def. Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio
* World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. Chris Jericho ended in a No Contest
* Women's Champion Melina def. Beth Phoenix
* CM Punk def. Kane
* Batista def. Chavo Guerrero
6 comments: on "Tha Raw Report"
When I sat down to watch raw, I thought maybe this will be a good show. But right when Batista came out I said fuck this and turned off the tv.
Let me just say that sure raw was sloppy but cena vs jericho and the orton vs hhh match were ppv worthy and made it a good show. By far Santino is the best entertainer but that is why his segments are even better because noone else comes close to him and it gives us a break for some comedy. And for all the cena haters i dont like cena but i have to give him credit for getting better or at least it seems that he is trying more to be a better wrestler and doing other shit to make him better and set up moves for other people. He did his job in putting out a good match on his part. He was getting booed more than ever on a raw match and jericho could of won with the crowd being excited for him so it made sense for edge to mess it up because no one will take a loss in the good match. And how did noone mention steamboat vs jericho at backlash that will be a good match.
D.J.B.: The reason no one had assumed their draft positions is because since they only go to England like once a year, the people who bought their tickets to Raw to see Rey, Jericho or CM Punk(all 5 of them) at Raw instead of buying a Smackdown ticket weren't disappointed. Granted everyone is on every show anyway but that was the reasoning for having the original rosters(plus Triple H of course). Not a great reason, but with the E, when you get a reason that's a step better than the norm.
The problem is that they did the draft too soon. Michael Cole made a point of saying that the draft results go into full effect after Backlash. Shit - why not just do the draft after Backlash, then?
But, I understand some of the draft-ignoring booking, especially w/ this show. Those travel arrangements (and probably the bookings) have to be made far in advance so if they really didn't know and/or wanted to keep the moves a secret, they'd have to book all that without the draft being taken into account.
Now, if Finlay and CM Punk start feuding for the ECW title on RAW, I'll take it all back.
Is it just me,or was last night's Triple H/Orton match,the one That they SHOULD have had at Wrestlemania?
That ending would have been a perfect way to put the strap on Orton. BTW,am i also the only one who smells a Shan O'Mac heel turn coming at Backlash with him joining Legacy?
called it
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