Destination X Recap

Courtesy of Killa Kev of AngryMarks.com:

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love, Velvet Sky & Madison Raine, w/ "Cute" Kip James) vs. Taylor Wilde, Roxxi Leveaux & The Governor

We start out with Velvet Sky calling out The Governor, and then throwing her into the corner and tying her up. She tags in Angelina Love and gets a quick tag, The Governor escapes and Leveaux gets in and slams Love around. Taylor Wilde tags in, double-team on Love's back, coer, two count. Roxxi Leveaux with the blind tag in and a double axehandle smash off the top turnbuckle.

Love turns it around, tags in Madison Rayne, who delives some forearm smashes, tries to whip Roxxi into the ropes, gets reversed but nails Leveaux with a cross-body block. She taunts the babyfaces to come into the ring, causing the ref to get tied upw ith them and allowing The Beautiful People to do what they want.

Velvet Sky tags in but Leveaux quickly levels her with a clothesline, taking them both down. ANgelina Love gets in to distract to ref from seeing Leveaux trying to make a successful tag, and Sky continues her beat down on Roxxi when the ref turns around. Leveaux with a power slam to take her down. Both make hot tags to Madison Rayne and Taylor Wilde, Wilde cleans house as all the Beautiful People get in the ring.

Wilde with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker on Rayne, cross-body block off the top turnbuckle on Rayne, cover and TBP break it up, everybody gets in on the action now. The Governor flies out of the ring on Sky and Love as Taylor Wilde finishes off Madison Rayne with a belly-to-back suplex into a bridging pin.

WINNERS: Roxxi Leveaux, Taylor Wilde & the Governor. So I missed the conversation between Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett. I'm sure I didn't miss much. Tenay makes some cracks about Don West showing up late and supposedly drunk this past Thursday for iMPACT.

Open Challenge: Brutus Magnus vs. "Showtime" Eric Young

E-Y is coming off a hot main-event win over Rocco, the bodyguard for the Main Event Mafia. Magnus dominates from the start, attacking Young from behind, whipping him around the ring, getting a few near-falls before he resorts to choking Young. Magnus trives a nerve hold submission, Young gets to his feet and powers out, bounces off the ropes, Magnus clotheslines him again for another pinfall, follows up with a powerbomb and says he's finished.

Magnus goes for the splash from the top turnbuckle, Young rolls out of the way. Magnus gets to his feet, Young whips him off the ropes for a backdrop. Young with a Death Valley Driver for a pin attempt, two count. Young goes to whip Magnus in the corner, Mangus reverses, Young flips over the turnbuckle, immediately slingshots back in to hit Magnus with a dropkick, goes for an elbow drop off the top, cover, two count. They trade some pin attempts with a nice bridge in the middle. Young goes to the top turnbuckle again, Magnus runs up to cut him off, European Uppercut, slams Young down to the mat with the Tormentor, cover, 1-2-3.

WINNER: Brutus Magnus. Don West and Mike Tenay run down the rest of the card for the evening.

Rant by Sheik Abdul Brashir

While we're setting up for the thumbtacks match, Sheik Abdul Brashir comes down for a rant. He says that he's been left off of TNA PPVs for the last three months, he's tired of being a victim and "a prisoner of the concentration camp of United States", and says he did what he did to Rhino last Thursday to make a statement to TNA management that he's fed up.

TNA General Manager Jim Cornette comes out and says he's got an answer for him as to why he's not on the card - "It's real simple, I don't like you! I don't like you, the rest of the wrestlers in the back don't like you, and none of these fans like you. And you know why? It's because of that thing between your nose and your neck - YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH!"

Cornette says that they got a match to put on, he's not going to fire Brashir or tear up his contract, he just wants him to get out of the ring. Before he goes, Cornette invites a guest United States Navy officer into the ring to sing "God Bless America" as a send-off. Brashir walks away hanging his head.

Back in the Main Event Mafia locker room, Kurt Angle is bitching about how none of the Mafia is supporting him and how Jeff Jarrett, Mick Foley and Sting are all conspiring against the Mafia and himself. Booker T and Scott Steiner basically tell Angle that this is his problem, they got their own issues tonight. After they leave, Kevin Nash backs them up and tells Angle that this really is his problem. Angle says he doesn't want anybody from the Mafia in his corner tonight, and at the end of the night everybody will see that he was right about Sting.

Match of 10,000 Tacks: "the Blueprint" Matt Morgan vs. "the Monster" Abyss

As we do our ring introductions, Don West bitches about Cornette being unfair and not letting Brashir get his say, Tenay argues back with him. Morgan attacks Abyss before the bell, headbutts him in the head, then taunts the big man. Whip off the ropes, Abyss ducks a clothesline, delivers some big open-hand chops to the chest, Morgan cuts him off with knees to the head, a kick to the face, bounces off the ropes for the bicycle kick, Abyss blocks it, tries to splash Morgan in the corner, Morgan moves out of the way and clotheslines Abyss over the top, then turns around and gloats to the fans.

Abyss grabs Morgan by the legs, pulls him under the ropes and racks him on the ringpost. Abyss goes over near the announcer's table and picks up a huge sheet full of thumbtacks, puts it on the entrance ramp, then puts a second one on the ramp. Abyss goes back to Morgan, whips him into the guardrail, Morgan reverses it. Morgan throws Abyss back in the ring, covers, referee reminds him that you only win by slamming your opponent on the thumbtacks. Morgan puts Abyss in the corner, delivers a few reverse elbows and a splash, followed by a body slam. Morgan puts Abyss face-first into the corner and delivers a splash to his back. Morgan goes up for the bag of thumbtacks, and spreads them in the corner of the ring.

Morgan turns around, grabs Abyss by the hair and drags him over to the pile, tries to slam his head into the tacks. Abyss resists it, elbows Morgan, Morgan returns with a pair of headbutts, bounces off the ropes, Abyss grabs him in the chokeslam, teases that he's gonna slam Morgan in the tacks, but Morgan elbows his way out. Abyss counters with a clothesline, puts Morgan in the corner, splashes him, ass splashes him, then points to another bag of tacks up on a pole. Abyss takes the bag down, shows it off to the fans, then taunts Morgan to get up. Morgan gets up as Abyss plays to the crowd, he turns around and Morgan takes him out with the bicycle kick.

Morgan slides outside and grabs a steel chair, gets back in the ring with it and sets the chair up in a corner. Morgan whips Abyss to the corner, Abyss reverses it, Morgan tries to block it and float over, but Abyss steps back, kicks Morgan in the nuts, then slams him into the chair. Abyss picks his back of tacks up and adds it to the pile that Morgan made minutes earlier. Abyss picks up Morgan, sets up for a power bomb, Morgan wiggles out, goes for a clothesline, Abyss ducks it and turns around and plants Morgan with the Black Hole Slam, unfortunately not on the tacks. Abyss reaches up and takes down another bag of tacks, and adds it to the pile.

Morgan decides he's had it and walks off, walksing up the ramp. Abyss runs off and stops him, nails him with big right hands, Morgan teases falling backwards onto the bed of tacks that Abyss set up earlier. Morgan kicks Abyss in the nuts, walks off, Abyss nearly falls face-first into the tacks but stops himself. Morgan steps back and charges, nails Abyss with the Carbon Footprint kick to the face, Abyss sails off the ramp and right into the bed of tacks.

WINNER: Matt Morgan. Wow, I expected A LOT more out of this match than what was delivered. We replay the kick a few times, then go to seeing Abyss twitching in pain on the mat. And, having seen a few thumbtack matches in my life, live and in person, that pain is REAL. Stupid mofo. LOL

Backstage Booker T and Sharmell are back in Jim Cornette's office arguing that Booker T's contract against AJ Styles isn't valid because it was done under duress. Cornette tells them they can find a lawyer and argue about it tomorrow, but in 15 minutes Booker T has a match.

ODB Picks the Winner of the "One Night Stand" Contest

We go through the video highlights before we go to Jeremy Borash in the ring, who introduces ODB to the fans. ODB comes out actually wearing a fairly nice looking skirt, did her hair up... then goes for her intro and she pulls a Brittany Spears *LOL* Rudy Charles comes out to escort ODB down to the ring.

Borash introduces our finaly three contestants - Cody Deaner of Muscle Shoals, AL; Shark Boy from the Deep Blue Sea; and Bernie Weber from ... well, I forgot where and who cares, right? We're going to play a few more games. ODB's first question is, "Why do you need a night with ODB?" Deaner says he doesn't need a whole night, he only needs 60 seconds. Shark Boy says he doesn't even need that long, he can do it in 20-30 minutes, possibly twice. Weber says that he's got cars, money and everything else she needs to have a good time.

Question #2: ODB wants them to have a dance-off! Wait, that's not a question, is it? Weber starts a weak-ass dance, and finishes it off by saying, "I got more moves than Octomom's got babies." Got some boos from the fans. Shark Boy is next, does some old school moves, apparently ODB was impressed by that. Cody Deaner dedicates his dance to the dearly depated Dale Earnhart. "Mulletmania! Mulletmania!" shouts Borash as Deaner finishes his dance by shocking ODB with these words: "ODB, this hair isn't the longest part on my body!"

Borash wraps it up and asks the fans who ODB should pick. Weber gets roundly booed, Shark Boy gets some decent cheers, Cody Deaner gets mixed reaction. The hometown crowd is behind Shark Boy, but the final decision rests in ODB's hands... well, okay, actually her tits are resting in her hands as she's feeling herself up. ODB decides to size everybody else up one more time, slapping their asses after she's done.

ODB tells Borash her decision... CODY DEANER WINS A NIGHT WITH ODB! Deaner goes nuts and picks up ODB and lifts her up in the air, surprising ODB and spilling her flask all over her dress! Not that she seems to mind! They're pawing all over each other. Don West finishes it up, "God, please don't let these two have children!"

Lauren interviews Beer Money, Inc. backstage. Robert Roode shouts, "You wanna know something you little bitch We're sick and tired of everybody repeating over and over and over about how Team 3D are the 21-time world tag team champsions. That was then and this is now, we stand before you as the World Tag Team Champions!" Roode says that Team 3D had to run to Japan to pick up their last title instead of getting it in TNA. James Storm says that Beer Money isn't getting any respect because they won't suck up to management or anybody else, and tonight they'll write their place in history as the greatest tag team in TNA history at the expense of Team 3D.

TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: champion Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. Sojourner Bolt

Nothing exciting to start here, Bolt tries for a cross-body block on Kong, and, well, that goes nowhere. Kong completely dominates and throws Bolt around the ring like a rag doll. Kong tries for a splash off the top turnbuckle, Bolt rolls out of the way, gets a few quick pin attempts that Kong easily kicks out of. Bolt bounces off the ropes, Saeed trips her up, Kong charges, Bolt pulls down the top rope to send Kong over the top, but she tries to drag Bolt out of the ring. Bolt fights her off with some elbow drops, tries for a hurracanrana off the top turnbuckle, but Kong channels the energy of House of Pain and says, "BUT I AIN'T GOIN' OUT LIKE NO PUNK, BITCH!", refuses to be dragged over and delivers the Awesome Bomb, 1-2-3.

WINNER: Awesome Kong. We segue into Samoa Joe's "Nation of Violence" promo video.

"Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner vs "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe

Samoa Joe rushes the ring after Steiner's intro and ambushes him. FUCK! Did Samoa Joe actually put on 50 pounds since he's been gone? And he shaved his head, too. Steiner's already busted open, Steiner turns the tide by driving Joe's head into the mat, goes outside, grabs a baseball bat, and Joe cuts him off as he tries to get back into the ring with a dozen or so knees to the head, takes Steiner's bat and bashes him over the head. Rudy Charles tries to break it up, Joe punches Charles right in the face, drawing a DQ.

WINNER: Scott Steiner, by DQ. Joe throws Steiner through the ropes, jumps on h im, slams him into the barricade, throws him over the ring barrier, bites his head, throws him into a trash can. Don West rightfully bitches that Steiner never had a chance. Joe drags Steiner outside the Impact Zone. Tenay with the final words, "Don West said it best, Samoa Joe is freakin' insane!"

Lauren interviews AJ Styles about Booker T's comments earlier. Style says that there's a time to talk and a time to shut up and fight. He thanks Team 3D and Mick Foley for helping the "Young Lions" but now it's time for the TNA originals to take matters into their own hands. We then roll into the promo package for Styles vs. Booker T.

TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP: champion Booker T (w/ Sharmell) vs. "the Phenomenal" AJ Styles

We start with Booker T putting Styles in the corner, piefaces him. Styles puts Booker T in the corner and tries for a waistlock, referee breaks it up. We lock up again, Styles with a hammerlock, Booker T reverses it, Styles transitions it into a front face lock, Booker T drives him into the corner. Styles turns it around, lays in the knife-edge chops, headbutts Booker T into another corner, Booker T counters with a reverse mule kick into the ribs and the big knees to the head with the head clinched. Styles tries to slam him, Booker T clotheslines him. Styles rallies back, Booker T tries to bail out of the ring, Styles with a dive off the apron onto Booker T, rolls him back in the ring, cover, hooks the leg, one count.

Styles with a backbreaker, into another cover, hooks the leg, one count. From here on out it is parity wrestling, each man trading one move for another. Booker T takes control of the offense with the big spin kick, covers, two count. Booker T goesinto a key lock with a wrist lock on Styles, but that doesn't stop Styles from getting to his feet and nailing Booker T with a backdrop, but Booker T keeps his hold on tight. Styles gets to his feet again, punches Booker T in the kidneys, Booker T with another mule kick to Style's ribs to stop him. Booker T whips Styles into the corner, charges, Styles with the boot up to stop it followed by a discus punch, a clothesline, whips Booker T to the corner, Styles charges and connects with the Superman punch.

Style hems up Booker T with a hammer lock, delivers a belly-to-back suplex with the arm trapped behind him, then covers, two count. Booker T tries to whip Styles into the ropes, Styles reverses and tries for a sunset flip, Booker T rolls through it and gets a pin attempt. Booker T pulls up Styles, slamps him around, Styles goes for a reverse waistlock, Booker T escapes, whips Styles off the ropes, Styles ducks a clothesline, tries for a briding suplex, but Booker T rolls through it to escape the pin. Styles puts Booker T in the corner and just kicks the shit out of him, backs up, charges, Booker T drops him over the top rope, Styles holds on, trads blows, tries to springboard back into the ring, Booker T with a side kick into Style's face, knocks him down but Booker T tweaks his right knee. Booker T still hits the Spinnerooni, then goes for the Axe Kick, Styles ducks it, hits the Pele Kick, hits the Styles Clash, covers, 1-2-3!

WINNER and NEW TNA LEGENDS CHAMPION, A.J. STYLES! Who knew that Booker T would lay down that title??? A surprising win for the night! Style climbs into the crowd with the belt to celebrate with the people.

Tenay starts going nuts as he gets word about something happening outside the Impact Zone. Lauren is screaming at Samoa Joe, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SCOTT? WHAT HAPPENED TO SCOTT?" Joe holds up his serimonial knife with a spot of blood on it, and he tells her to go ask Steiner what he did, and then to pass the word to the rest of the Main Event Mafia that he's coming for them, one by one.

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP - Off the Wagon Challenge: champions Beer Money, Inc (Robert Roode & "Cowboy" James Storm, w/ Jacquelin) vs. IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D (Brother Ray & Brother Devon)

Roode and Devon start out first trading armbars and hammerlocks, Roode trips Devon and paintburshes the back of his head before showing off with some jumping jacks. Rest spot, hook-up, they trade waistlocks again, Devon with the slam, Roode escapes, clubs Devon in the back, Devon doesn't sell it much, Roode chosp hi in the chest, shoots him off the ropes, ducks down, Devon kicks Roode in the chest, tags in Ray, and then gets drop toeholded by Roode, who walks all over his back.

James Storm tags in, his left leg taped up. Storm pops off a few quick punches to the mouth, Ray steps back, holds his lip. We lock up again, Ray shoves Storm in the corner, ref wants a clean break, Storm pops Ray in the mouth agin, showboats in the ring. James wants a test of strength, Ray matches up, but then decides to play the switch game with him instead, pissing Storm off. Storm tries for a clothesline, Ray ducks it, neckbreaker, Devon tags in, double-team front-face drop on Storm, double-team on Roode, Storm gets slammed again, they try for the Whassup diving headbutt off the top, Roode shoves Devon off the top.

Roode and Storm double-team Devon, Roode tags in as the legal man, they showboat in the ring some more and Roode immitates the Flair Strut. Devon fires back, pelling off some rights. Storm counters with a dropkick and a pin attempt that Ray breaks up. Storm tags in, double-team punches to the head, STorm with a kneedrop to the head on Devon, cover and a two count.

Roode tags in and kicks Devon in the face. Double team whip off the ropes, Devon ducks it and connects with a clothesline to both men at once, all three men are down. Devon goes for the hot tag, gets it, Ray cleans house, whips Roode off the ropes for a backdrop, STorm eats a hip toss, throws Roode in the corner, throws Storm in behind him, and they do another Ambiguously Gay Duo spot, but this time they sbreak it up and start shoving each other.

Ray takes advantage of the distraction and takes them both down, but Ray showboats before punching Storm in the head, not seeing Roode set up for a dropkick off the turnbuckle. Roode with a quick pin attempt. Storm whips Roode into Ray, Ray puts up a boot, punches down Storm. Roode hangs onto Ray's foot as Ray goes up to the top turnbuckle. Storm climbs up and snaps off a hurracanrana on Ray, Storm follows up with a big splash off the top, cover, 1... 2... kickout!

Beer Money take turns clubbing Ray in the head, bounce off the ropes together, but Devon trips Storm and pulls him out of the ring, Ray hits the Bubba Bomb on Roode, cover, two count. Storm fights of Devon, gets into the ring tries to spit some beer in Ray's face, but Ray ducks it and it gets in Storms face instead. Team 3D try to set up for the 3D on Roode, but Storm runs in with a chair and nails Devon in the back, drawing the DQ.

WINNERS: Team 3D, by DQ - Beer Money retain the title. "WOAH WOAH WOAH!" shouts Jim Cornette as he runs out. "This match was your idea, and people want to see a winner and a loser! Referee, we're going to restart this match, and this time it's NO DISQUALIFICATION!"

Referee restarts the match as Team 3D take out Beer Money from behind, throw Storm into the ring, hit the 3D, 1... 2... Roode pulls the referee out of the ring. Roode shoves the ref down then pulls Storm out of the ring and slings him over his shoulder. He comes over and grabs the title, but it looks like Don West actually hands them the titles! Tenay bitches about it, West says he thought the belts were falling off the desk and was trying to catch them! Jim Cornette runs off after them, referee starts a 10-count and counts the champs out.

WINNERS: Team 3D, by count-out - Beer Money retains the titles. Team 3D are upset, they come over to the announcers desk to find out what happened there, and Tenay sells West up the river, blaming him for the belts escaping! West tries to defend himself, and then tells Team 3D they should have focused more on keeping the action inside the ring. Brother Ray tells West to watch himself.

TNA X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP - Ultimate X Match: champion Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal vs. Quentin "Consequences" Creed vs. Suicide

Everybody is introduced seperately. As Suicide makes his intro from swinging into the ring from the rafters, everybody quickly takes him out and throws him out of the ring. The Motor City Machienguns quickly double-team on Creed and Lethal. Shelley starts to climb up for the belt, Suicide comes back in and throws Sabin out of the ring, then pulls Shelley off the trusses. Lethal runs in and attacks Suicide, Suicide throws him all around.

Unfortunately I had a phone call come in that I had to take, so I missed everybody else getting a shot, I come back just in time to see Suicide clear the ring, try to hit a bulldog on Sabin, Shelley cuts him off with a boot to the head, but Machismo takes him out with a kick to the head from the outside. Machismo trie sto dive on Shelley, Shelley throws him to the mat. Sabin goes for a suicide dive on Machismo. Suicide tries to follow up, but Shelley was hiding in wait for him and kills him with a kick to the head. Machismo, Shelly and Sabin duke it out on the floor, Creed tries to climb up, Suicide cuts him off, puts him on his shoulders, then hits a front rolling slam into everybody's bodies outside, using Creed as a weapon! Not bad!

Suicide gets back in teh ring, scales up the rigging, climbs across the ropes. Lethal quickly leaps up on the ropes and dropkicks Suicide. Creed tries to hang off the X, but the MMGs run in to break it up, and they split off again. Suicide takes another crack across the cables, Lethal pulls him down and hits the Lethal Combination. Lethal bosts up Creed so he can snag onto the belt, but then Sabin sets himself up as a platform and Shelley launches himself off of it to dropkick Creed off the cables. Sabin & Shelley team up to climb across the cables, but Letha pulls Shelley off, Sabin goes for a splash on Creed in the ring, Creed gets the knees up.

Suicide takes another crack at climbing up the trusses, Creed cuts him off, Shelley coms over, Lethal comes over and we get a 4-man Tower of Doom, Suicide hangs onto the top cable to avoid crashing down, but he's hung up. Lethal gets up there quickly and pulls Suicide Down with a powerbomb. After a rest hold, Creed and Sabin go at it again, Sabin with a suplex on Creed. Lethal gets in and delivers a dropkick to Suicide, Shelley with a splash on Suicide, Lethal with a front-face slam on Shelley, Sabin with a tornado DDT on Lethal, Creed with a pump handle slam on Sabin, Shelley with a Brainbuster on Creed. Now everybody is dead again.

Shelley recovers first, climbs up the scaffolding, Lethal attacks, climbs up and goes for the superplex. Sabin runs up and hits a belly-to-back suplex on Lethal. Suicide climbs up, Creed cuts him off and throws him down. Shelley gets a headlock on Creed, Sabin runs over and puts him in the position for a powerbomb, and then Shelley grabs the head and pulls of the Sliced Bread on Creed at the same time! But Shelley's knee is hurt and he's down. Sabin tries for a Cradle Shock on Suicide, but he fights off and drops him, then drops Shelley as he tries to climb up the other side. Shelley dispatches him and scales up the trusses, Suicide follows him up on the other side, but gets hung up. Creed runs up and takes out Shelley with a fireman's carry.

Lethal climbs up on one side, Sabin on the other side, Creed meets them all in the middle and they start kicking. Suicide gets free, scales up the truss, LEAPS ACROSS THE TOP OF THE CABLES AND KNOCKS THEM ALL OFF! Suicide hangs on to the middle of the X, grabs the belt and drops to the mat.

Winner AND NEW TNA X DIVISION CHAMPION - SUICIDE! Not as good of an Ultimate X match as year's past, but WOW BEST FUCKING FINISH EVER!!! We run the finish a few times, then go to the back where Jeremy Borash interviews Sting. Sting says that he's focused on the title defense tonight, and says that Kurt Angle can determine whatever match he wants tonight, he doesn't care. Borash asks Sting about what involvement Foley & Jarrett will have. Sting says that he knows Foley will make sure it stays a one-on-one match, and Jarrett will count the pinfall.

UNFORTUNATELY, A SMALL PROBLEM WITH THE SERVER CAUSED ME TO LOSE MY WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING RECAP OF THE MAIN EVENT!

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: champion Sting d. Kurt Angle. There really wasn't much to the match anyhow, all the action came right down to the end: Angle tries to clothesline Sting, Sting ducks him, Angle takes out Jarrett. Sting gets the Scorpion Deathlock on Angle, but Foley was checking on Jarrett and didn't see Angle tap out. Foley tries for a schoolboy on Sting, gets a two count, starts arguing with Foley about it, kicks him in the nuts.

Angle grabs a chair, tries to take out Sting with it, Foley takes the chair away, tries to swing on Angle, Angle ducks and Foley swipes Sting with the chair. Angle nails Foley with the chair, turns around to pin Sting, Jarrett counts to 2-and-a-half as Sting kicks out. Angle argues with Jarrett, spits in his face and punches him. Jarrett punches him back, spins him around, Sting hits him with the DDT, covers, 1-2-3.

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