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1.26.2009

Royal Rumble Recap

Courtesy of Killa Kev of AngryMarks.com:

We open the show with the recap of last weeks' WWE Raw, with Randy Orton attacking WWE Chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon, much to the shock of the WWE Universe.

We come out to Michael Cole and Jerry "the King" Lawler, who say that they do not know what the fate of Randy Orton will be, and that Mr. McMahon's condition is being guarded.

ECW Championship: champion "the All-American American" Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham introduce us to the first match as Hardy and Swagger are given their individual introductions. We get a lockup, Hardy puts Swagger in the corner, referee forces a break. Lock-up again, Swagger puts Hardy in the corner, goes for a big right, Hardy hits a right of his own, Swagger begs off to the opposite corner, tries to clotheslines Hardy out of the corner, Hardy ducks it and hits another right, Swagger rolls out fo the ring. Hardy follows and hits him again, head thrown into the apron, rolls swagger in. Swagger tries with big boot, Hardy blocks it, spins him around and nails a clotheslines. Hardy whips Swagger off the ropes, Swagger grabs the top rope and bails out. Referee stops Hardy from chasing.

Swagger takes his time getting back into the ring, we lock up, Swagger shoots for a waistlock, Hardy tries to block him, Swagger takes him down and puts him on his stomach, Swagger with a hammerlock on the mat. Fans start chanting "Har-dy! Har-dy! Har-dy!". Hardy gets to his feet, armbar, Swagger kicks him in the stomach, armbar takedown into a hammerlock. Hardy back on his feet, Swatter holds on until Hardy nails him with a reverse elbow, ducks a clothesline, tries for the Twist of Fate, Swagger escapes to the corner, Hardy with a dropkick to the face, pulls up Swagger, bulldog out of the corner, Hardy covers, 1-2-kickout.

Hardy whips Swagger into the corner, Swagger reverses and charges, Hardy with an elbow, tries to go up to the top turnbuckle, Swagger with an European Uppercut that sends Hardy over the top to the outside. Swagger throws Hardy back in, puts him in the corner, fires off rights, Hardy fires back, but Swagger wraps Hardy's arm over the top rope and rings it. Hardy gets back to his feet, they trade punches, Swagger with a big boot to Hardy's injured arm, cover, 1-2-kickout.

Swagger with the keylock from behind, picks up Hardy by the injured arm and slams him to the mat. Fans start a "Lets go Har-dy!" chant as he gets back to his feet, punches a few times, Swagger hangs on to the arm, wrenches it again, Hardy with a clothesline to break it. Swagger tries to pick up Hardy, gets kicked in the head, Hardy with a pair of clotheslines with the left arm, clothesline, cover and a two count. Swagger is thrown in the corner, Hardy charges, connects, bulldog out of the corner, cover, 1-2-kickout by Swagger.

Hardy goes to the middle turnbuckle, rallies the fans, favoring the right arm, delivers an elbow drop on Swagger, cover... 1... 2... kickout. Hardy is calling for the Twist o Fate, Swagger blocks it, connects with a belly-to-belly suplex, cover 1-2-kickout! Swagger tries for a suplex, Hardy blocks it, tries for his own, is block, Swagger converts it to a front face slam, cover, 1-2-kickout. Hardy drags himself up by the corner, Swagger headbutts him in the top turnbuckle, sits him up on top, clubs Hardy in the back, climbs up, hems up the injured right arm again, Hardy punches away and Swagger falls to his back. Hardy turns around... MOONSAULT! HOOKS THE LEG 1-2-KICKOUT! Big kickout for Swagger

Hardy tries for the Twist of Fate, Swagger blocks, throws Hardy in the corner, Hardy catches himself, tries for the Side Effect, again Swagger throws him into the corner, Hardy catches the ringpost. Swagger picks up Hardy and nails him with the big gutwrench suplex, covers... 1... 2... 3.

WINNER and STILL ECW Champion, Jack Swagger. So my predictions go 0-for-1 as Swagger retains, not surprising though, I could see this going either way. We replay and see that Hardy's shoulder and head catches that ringpost, he was once again out cold. Swagger picks up his ECW Championship belt and ... well... swaggers off. And with good reason.

We go backstage to see Randy Orton walking into the arena earlier in the night, everybody avoiding him.

WWE Women's Championship: champion "the Glamazon" Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella) vs. Melina Perez

We start off with a lockup, break, lockup again, Phoenix with a side headlock, shoves Perez into the ropes, Perez with a shoulderblock. Perez bounces off the ropes again, Phoenix with her own shoulder block. Phoenix whips Perez off the ropes, Perez with a headscissor takeover into an armbar. Phoenix stands up, picks up Perez with the arm that is in the armbar, and slams her in the corner. Phoenix charges, Perez with an elbow to stop it, Perez tries for another headscissors, Phoenix holds on, Perez rolls up to her head, Phoenix throws her down.

Phoenix is favoring her right arm, but delivers a big asssplash in the corner to Perez. She pulls Perez out of the corner an applies a vicious legbar, Perez crawls to the bottom rope, Phoenix pulls her back and OMG BENDS HER LEG OVER AND SLAMS HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT! Referee breaks it and checks on Perez. Phoenix is laughing in the ring, kicks Perez in the back of the head. Perez kicks Phoenix in the head from the mat, bounces off the ropes, Phoenix hits her with a side slam. Phoenix puts Perez on the top turnbuckle, picks her up in a Gorilla Press slam, but Perez wiggles out, hits a jawjacker, punches, Phoenix tries to return it but is blocked, Perez reels off a few more punches, slides under Phoenix's legs as Phoenix goes for a wild clothesline, double leg takedown into a roll-up, two-count.

Perez trips Phoenix into the ropes, nails her in the back with both knees, hairmare to the mat, cover by Perez, 1-2-kickout. Perez tries to whip Phoenix into the corner, reversal, Phoenix charges, Phoenix puts up the knees, goes up top, hits a Thesz Press off the top, cover, two count. Phoenix whips Perez off the ropes, catches her for a wheelbarrow slam, Perez holds on, rolls her up 1-2-3!

WINNER and NEW WWE Women's Champion, Melina Perez! Damn I go 0-for-2 as Perez becomes a 3-time WWE Women's Champion! Phoenix is in absolute shock as Santino Marella checks on her. The Glamazon's five-month reign is now over. We replay the highlights and then go to Melina Perez walking back up the ramp, celebrating her win.

We go into a retrospective of the JBL/HBK/Cena issue. Backstage John Layfield tells Shawn Michaels to ignore what John Cena said, because if he helps Layfield, then Layfield just won't pay him the money he owes Michaels, he'll pay it TONIGHT! And if that wasn't enough, he says that he PROMISES Michaels that he will have a spot in the Royal Rumble to compete for a spot at WrestleMania. "You don't have to be conflicted," says Layfield. Michaels turns around as Layfield walks off, looks at himself in the mirror. He turns around and comes face-to-face with the Undertaker, who looks down and says, "Sometimes... you have to go through hell to get to heaven." Layfield barks out, "Let's go, Shawn!". Micahels departs.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: champion John Cena vs. John Layfield (w/ Shawn Michaels)

Wow, that's one HELL of a bomb that was just dropped on us! Layfield and Michaels come down to the ring first, but the fans are already chanting "Ce-na! Ce-na!" and... THA CHAMP IS HERE! Cena rolls out, salutes the crowd, BELT AROUND HIS WAIST! (OLD SCHOOLS!) and Cena goes right to the ring.

We get the bell and both men circle the ring, we lock up, no Cena with the armbar and drags Layfield down to the mat in a side headlock. Layfield breaks it and applies his own side headlock on Cena on the mat. Cena works up to his feet, whips Layfield off the ropes, Layfield with a shoulder tackle, floatover, Cena with the leapfrog and a reverse elbow, cover, two countout, and Layfield rolls out to consult with Michaels, giving him some directions, gets back into the ring.

Lock-up again, Layfield throws Cena into the corner, punches, big boot, referee breaks. Layfield picks up Cena, puts him in the corner, whips him out, Cena reverses, bounces off the ropes and catches Layfield with the bulldog out of the corner, cover, two count. Cena with the Blockbuster off the ropes, covers, two count, Layfield rolls out again. Cena chases after him, Layfield tries to clothesline Cena, Cena ducks it, Cena comes face-to-face with Michaels, Cena stops, Layfield clubs Cena from behind, throws him head-first into the top of the ring steps, throws Cena back in, cover, hooks the leg, two count.

Layfield whips Cena off the ropes, clothesline, cover, two count. Layfield lays in about a dozen big elbow drops to the chest, covers, two count. Layfield sits up Cena, steps over the right arm an then applies a reverse chinlock. Cena breaks it after getting to his feet, bounces off the ropes, Layfield catches him with a big side slam, covers, hooks the leg, two count. Cena pulls himself up by the ropes to the outside apron, Layfield runs up and shoulder blocks him, knocks Cena to the floor. Layfield finally gets out of the ring, picks up Cena off the floor, Cena fights him, Layfield throws Cena shoulder-first into the ring steps. Referee starts a new count. Layfield picks up Cena, rolls him back in the ring, cover, hooks the leg, 1... 2... kickout.

Layfield picks up Cena and puts him in the corner, carefully measures out a trio of right fists until the referee breaks it. Cena is picked up and put on the top turnbuckle, Layfield with two more big right hands, adjusts Cena, delivers another. Layfield goes up and tries for a Superplex, Cena tries to fight it, drills Layfield with six straight rights before Layfield falls to his back. Cena stands up on the top turnbuckle, goes for the legdrop and connects with the back of Layfield's head. Cena slowly crawls over, hooks the leg... 1... 2... kickout!

Both men stagger to their feet, Cena charges Layfield in the corner, Layfield puts the boot up to stop it. Layfield bounces off the rope and tries for the Clothesline from Hell, but Cena catches him with a drop toehold, drills with some punches, headbutts him into two corners, delivers a pair of shoulder tackles and a side slam... he pauses and signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle! YOU CAN'T SEE ME... brush it off... BOOM! Cena connects with Layfield. Cena goes for the Throwback, Layfield with an elbow to the face, staggers off to the corner, Cena charges, Layfield with a reverse elbow. Layfield bounces off the ropes for the Clothesline from Hell again, Cena again with the drop toehold right into the STF! Layfield struggles for the ropes... Michaels has his hands on the rope, Cena breaks his hold and kicks the ropes, fusses at Michaels. Layfield attacks Cena from behind and throws him outside. Cena stares down Michaels, gets back in the ring, turns around and Layfield finally catches Cena with the Clothesline from Hell! He covers! 1-2-KICKOUT! Cena with the amazing kickout!

Layfield takes his time, gets to his feet, staring at Michaels. Layfield turns around and picks up Cena, talks some smack, but Cena picks up JBL in the Throwback again, Layfield wiggles out, goes for the big boot, Cena ducks it and Layfield connects with the referee Mike Chiota's head! All men fall down, exhausted! Michaels then steps into the ring, looks over everybody... Layfield gets to his feet first... Cena gets to his feet... Michaels is itching to fire... Layfield tells Michaels to do it... and Michaels hits Layfield! Layfield is out cold! Cena can't even believe what he just saw, but he likes it! Cena with arms akimbo, nods his head in approval... MICHAELS SUPERKICKS CENA!

Michaels looks over the damage, then drags Layfield's body on top of Cena's. Michaels steps out of the ring and walks away, the fans booing him heavily. Nobody in the ring is moving. The fans start shouting "CE-NA! CE-NA! CE-NA!" as another referee runs down... makes the count... 1... 2... CENA GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Layfield slowly picks himself up... grabs Cena by the wrist, goes for the Clothesline from Hell again, but Cena ducks it, THE THROWBACK! Cena hits the Throwback! Cover 1-2-3!

WINNER and STILL WWE World Heavyweight Champion, JOHN CENA! Wow, SHOCK THE WORLD indeed! That's it, all my predictions are officially OUT OF THE FUCKING WINDOW! We replay all the highlights, then see Cena walking up the ramp, Layfield is still out cold in the ring.

WWE Championship: champion Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

We then to Jim Ross and Tazz, who segue us into the overview of the Hardy vs. Edge feud. Justin Roberts with the introduction as Hardy comes out, dressed in the Killer Klownface makeup, gets in the ring... but then Smackdown General Manager Vickie Guerrero comes out and announces that she is changing this bout to NO DISQUALIFICATION! So, without further ado, out comes Edge... and Chavo Guerrero. Justin Roberts re-introduces the match to us.

Hardy bumrushes Edge before the bell rings, drives him right into the corner and kicks him down, throws him head-first into the opposite corner, punches, whips to another corner, charges, clothesline. Hardy whips Edge off the ropes, big clothesline, whips Edge off the ropes again, Edge wisely grabs the top rope and bails. Hardy gives him chase around the ring, Edge slides back in, Hardy stops and grabs a chair, leaps up on the apron, Edge catches him with a boot to the head. Hardy is thrown head-first into the top turnbuckle before Edge pulls him back in the ring, throws him in the corner, connects with a punch. Edge throws Hardy to the opposite corner, charges, Hardy floats over, connects with a clothesline on Edge, pulls him out, dropkick to the back of the head, covers and a two count.

Hardy beats down Edge, throws him in the corner, charges, Edge with a boot up, then clubs Hardy in the back, throws him into a corner head-first, then whips him off the ropes, Hardy slides out of the ring and dares Edge to follow. Edge tries for a baseball slide, Hardy side-steps it, gets back in the ring and delivers his own baseball slide on Edge to the outside. Hardy tries for a top rope plancha, Edge runs off, Hardy floats over to the apron safely then hits a cross-body block to the outside. Hardy throws Edge into the ring, Chavo Guerrero runs over, grabs Hardy by the boot, Chavo backs off. Hardy tries to leap over the top rope into the ring, Edge stands up and boots Hardy in the head.

Hardy tries to get back into the ring, Edge with a baseball slide dropkick right into the face. Edge goes out and throws Hardy into the security wall head-first. Edge picks up Hardy head-first, drags him over to the announcer's tables and slams him head-first into each table. Edge throws Hardy back into the ring and raises his arms in celebration. Ege with an elbow drop on Hardy's chest, covers, hooks the leg, two count. Edge sets up for something, charges at Hardy and kicks him solidly in the ribs. Edge picks up Hardy throws him in the corner, punches, whips him to the opposite corner, connects with the Spear, Hardy crumples. Edge is limping slightly, taking his time, picks up Hardy, drills him in the head, whips him to the opposite corner, charges for the Spear again, Hardy with a Sunset Flip over, covers, two count! Edge gets up and connects with a short arm clothesline, covers, two count.

Edge takes down Hardy with a reverse waistlock, Hardy gets to his feet, elbows out, Edge grabs a handful of greasy hair and pulls him back down to the mat. He pulls Hardy up, Hardy fires off with rights, goes for a kick, Edge catches it, Hardy with the reverse mule kick. Hardy goes to the top turnbuckle, Edge cuts him off with punches, climbs up, they trade punches, Hardy knocks Edge to the mat, goes up top, leaps, Edge catches him right in the chest with a dropkick. Edge crawls over, rolls Hardy overs, hooks the leg, 1... 2... kickout. Edge gets to his feet, sneers, goes out of the ring, grabs a chair, grabs a second chair... is it going to be a One Man Conchairto? Not yet because Hardy gets to his feet and spears Edge THROUGH the chairs off the apron! Edge falls to the floor, Hardy falls to his back in the ring.

Hardy gets to his feet, top rope plancha! Hardy throws Edge back in the ring, Edge blocks him though, they fight on the apron, TWIST OF FATE on the apron! Hardy gets to his feet first, returns Edge's favor by throwing him head-first into all the announcer's table, then clears off the Raw announcer's table! Then he pulls out a ladder from under the ring! Hardy sets it up! Hardy picks up Edge and lays him out on the table. Hardy climbs up the ladder... Chavo Guerrero climbs up the other side, immediately gets off, Edge rolls off the table, Hardy connects with a splash off the ladder onto Guerrero! He throws Edge shoulder-first into the steel ringpost! He throws Guerrero head-first into the ring steps, lays out Guerrero on the table leaps... CONNECTS WITH THE SPLASH!

Hardy recovers, spears Edge on the outside, throws him back in... Hardy goes up... another lateral press! Cover! 1-2-KICKOUT! Hardy picks up Edge, Irish Whip, reversal by Edge and Hardy eats the boot from Edge! Edge takes his time, removes the top turnbuckle padding from a corner. Edge picks up Hardy by the hair, throws him to the corner, Hardy blocks it, WHISPER 'O THE WIND! Hardy covers.. 1... 2... kickout! Hardy calls for the Twist of Fate, executes, Edge blocks it, DDT! Edge covers, 1-2-KICKOUT!

Edge grabs Hardy, drags him to a corner, Edge climbs to the middle turnbuckle, goes for a legdrop, Hardy goes to block it, Edge stops himself, but Hardy grabs the leg, pulls him over with an inside cradle, 1-2-kickout! Edge takes a boot to the midsection from Hardy, Hardy with the facebuster suplex! Hardy was going up top, Edge started to run, Hardy gets down and dropkicks hi in the ass! Edge crawls over to the corner, Hardy charges, goes for the dropkick, Edge grabs him and nails him with the Snake Eyes in the corner, Hardy eats the exposed turnbuckle! Edge rolls him up, 1... 2... kickout.

Edge recovers in the corner... calling for Hardy to get up... goes for the Spear... and walks right into the Twist of Fate! Hardy pulls it out from nowhere! Hardy scrambles to the apron outside, drags himself up the turnbuckles... WWE General Manger Vickie Guerrero runs down, grabs his legs... Hardy kicks her off the apron! Hardy connects with the Swanton Bomb! Cover, 1... 2... VICKIE GUERRERO pulls the referee out of the ring! Referee argues with Guerrero... MATT HARDY RUNS DOWN AND THROWS VICKIE IN THE RING!

Matt Hardy gets in the ring, grabs a chair, tells Vickie that Edge is going to taste revenge! He hands the chair to Jeff, tells him to take him out, but then stops him... Matt goes out of the ring, grabs another chair... will Edge taste the Two-Man Conchairto? NO! They go to swing, Matt nails Jeff in the head! NOOO! Jeff looks down on Matt, Edge crawls over to cover... and the referee reluctantly counts out the pin.

WINNER and NEW WWE Champion, EDGE! Matt Hardy quickly walks off as we run the highlights, come back as Edge is leaving, and see the referees and EMTs attending to Jeff, who is just recovering. They eventually roll him out of the ring and help him to the back.

We go backstage with Todd Grisham interviewing Randy Orton, asks him if he can confirm the rumor that Orton will face legal ramifications for his actions on Raw. Orton says that the McMahons have not told him anything, so as far as he knows he is still in the Royal Rumble. Chris Jericho interrupts and asks for a moment. Jericho tells Orton that he knows everybody is on Orton's back about what happened, but he doesn't blame Orton what happened. He said that the Vince McMahon that showed up on Raw was the Mr. McMahon of old, this Mr. McMahon is one that panders to the fans and his daughter. "You didn't kill Mr. McMahon, Mr. McMahon was already dead!" Orton asks Jericho if he's saying this to suck up and get on his good side or try to psyche him out for the Royal Rumble. Jericho says that he is just telling Orton the truth... and that he also knows that the McMahons are vengeful, and that this will be Orton's last night as a WWE employee. "Good luck, Randy!" says Jericho as he walks off.

THE WWE ROYAL RUMBLE MAIN EVENT!

This is the last match of the night... two men will start, and one man enters every 90 seconds! It will be GOOD 'OL JR and JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER with the announcing duties for the next hour. Introducing the first participant... REY MYSTERIO, JR! Once again Mysterio enters at #1, the position he won from in 2006 and went on to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship! His opening opponent... WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION JOHN MORRISON!

Both men get in the middle of the ring, Morrison piefaces Mysterio, Mysterio fires with kicks to the legs, Morrison with a knee to the chest, whips Mysterio off the ropes, Mysterio slides under, kick to the legs, kick to the face, Morrison goes for a wheelbarrow slam, but then tries to throw Mysterio off the top rope, Mysterio hangs onto the top rope, then grabs the bottom rope. Mysterio hangs on as Morrison kicks on him, Mysterio fights him off, leapfrogs back into the ring, cross body block, bounces off the ropes, headscissor takeover on Morrison, Morrison charges, Mysterio tries to throw him over, Morrison grabs the rope, Mysterio beats on him, baseball slide dropkick, Morrison still hangs on, clock counts down... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

CARLITO COLON IS #3. Colon runs in, beats on both men, takes out Morrison, Mysterio tries for the headscissors, Carlito faceplants him. Morrison tries to throws Carlito over the top, Carlito hangs on, springboards back in off the ropes and nails Morrison. Carlito tries to throw Mysterio over, Mysterio escapes. Morrison clobbers Carlito from behind, tries to kick Mysterio out of the ring, pulls him back in, European Uppercut. Carlito throws Morrison in the corner, boots him down... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

MONTEL VONTAVEOUS PORTER IS #4. MVP runs in and starts delivering reverse elbows to everybody. Fans are chanting hard for MVP as he plants Morrison with a slam, bounces off the ropes, Mysterio tries to clothesline him, Mysterio with an armdrag! Carlito attacks from behind, MVP with a facebuster to the knee. Morrison attacks, MVP whips him to the corner, whips him out, Morrison reverses it, goes for the Snapshot, Mysterio dropkicks him. MVP hits the Driveby on Morrison. Mysterio tries to throws MVP over the top, MVP blocks it. Mysterio grabs the ropes and headscissors MVP... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

THE GREAT KHALI IS #5. Khali gets in and chops everybody, slams Morrison to the mat. Mysterio leaps off the top turnbuckle, gets chopped down mid-air. Carlito tries for the Backstabber, and just falls off. Khali chokeslams Carlito... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

VLADIMIR KOZLOV IS #6. Kozlov attacks Khali, Khali goes for the Vice, Kozlov kicks him off and clotheslines Khali out. THE GREAT KHALI IS ELIMINATED! Morrison attacks Kozlov from behind, he gets headbutted. MVP puts Kozlov in the corner, lays in punches, charges with the boot, Kozlov sidesteps him then throws him out. MVP IS ELIMINATED. Kozlov throws Carlito over the top, Carlito blocks, throws a shoulder block, springboards in, Kozlov catches him mid air, slams him to the mat and eliminates him. CARLITO COLON IS ELIMINATED. Rey Mysteiro and John Morrison are the only men left as Kozlov headbutts Mystero in the chest... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

TRIPLE H IS #7 (and I got him in the AngryMarks Rumble Contest!) Both men stare each other down and trade blows, Kozlov whips Triple H off the ropes, Trips ducks two clotheslines but eats the battering ram. Kozlov throws him in the corner, charges, Triple H blocks it, Facebuster, Kozlov is sent over the top. VLADIMIR KOZLOV IS ELIMINATED. John Morrison recovers, attacks Triple H from behind, whips him off the ropes, reversal, Morrison ducks a clothesline but eats a high knee... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

RANDY ORTON IS #8. Triple H is throwing Morrison over the top, but hangs on as Trips is distracted by Orton's entrance. They start slugging on each other, Orton gets the upper hand, whips Trips, reversal, re-reversal by Orton and catches Triple H with a DDT! Orton is calling for the RKO, attacks, Triple H blocks it, goes for the Pedigree, Morrison with the Snapshop off the ropes on Triple H, Mysterio with a leapfrog on Orton, Morrison attacks but gets a drop toehold from Mysterio, then a 6-1-9! All men are now down... Triple H gets up to his feet, picks up Morrison, headbutts him in the corner... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

CRYME TYME IS #9... well, one of them is! Both come out, they decide to flip a coin, JTG wins the toss with a double-sided coin! JTG gets in and cleans house, throws Triple H in the corner, tries to throw him over the top, Trip stops him, punches him into the corner. Orton puts Mysterio on his shoulders, tries to throw him out, Mysterio grabs a leg to block, pulling Orton over with him, Orton bent over backwards, they finally break, Orton drills him in the head, holds on. Triple H and JTG team up to try to eliminate Morrison... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

TED DIBIASE, JR IS #10. DiBiase drills Mysterio, Morrison and JTG in the head, Orton is trying to eliminate Triple H. JTG and Morrison team up to take out DiBiase, then turn on each other. DiBiase clotheslines both over the top, but they hang onto the ropes, then start kicking each other, they both roll back into the ring, DiBiase tries to throw Mysterio out, Mysterio hangs on, pulls out DiBiase who hangs onto the bottom rope. Orton and Triple H are choking each other in the corner. Mysterio with a baseball slid eon DiBiase in the corner. JTG and Morrison beating on each other... 5... 4... 3... 2... PYRO!

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN! CHRIS JERICHO IS #11. Jericho tries to throw Orton out immediately, gets him over the top, Orton hangs on. Jericho with a bulldog on Jericho, tries for the Lionsault, Trips rolls out but Jericho lands on his feet, goes for the Walls of Jericho, Trips rolls out, picks up Jericho, throws him over the top, Jericho holds on, Triple H kicking him. Mysterio comes over to thy to push him out of the ring. Triple H gives up and goes to JTG... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

MIKE KNOX IS #12. Knox immediately gets in, kicks Mysterio in the head, attacks JTG, turns back to Mysterio in the corner. Orton & DiBiase team up in the corner, try for JTG, Orton grabs his legs and DiBiase kicks him. Knox tries to throw Mysterio over the top, Triple H cuts him off. whips Knox off the ropes, he runs into Morrison, Triple H drills him in the head, headbutts Triple H in the corner. Morrison and Orton are fighting in the corner, JTG grabs the leg, tries to throw Orton out... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

MIKE "THE MIZ" MIZANIN IS #13. Morrison attacks JTG, then DiBiase, then back to JTG, hitting him with the reverse Russian legsweep. Jericho tries to suplex Mysterio out of the ring. Morrison with the clothesline on Triple H then Mysterio in the corner. Orton eats a kick to the kidneys from Miz, then teams with Morrison for a gutwrench bomb. Orton with an RKO on Morrison, then on Miz, then on JTG, Triple H runs up and kicks Orton and delivers the Pedigree! Morrison gets picks up by Triple H, throws into Miz, and both men go out. MIKE MIZANIN AND JOHN MORRISON ARE ELIMINATED! 5... 4... 3... 2... 1

FIT FINLAY IS #14. Atomic bomb on Jericho by Finlay, then one for Triple H, Finlay with a seated senton off the ropes on Triple H. Mysterio tries to eliminate Jericho, holds on, Finlay clubs Jericho in the head. Finlay picks up Triple H and tries to throw him out, Mike Knox breaks it up. Finlay with a headbutt and uppercut, followed by a clothesline on Finlay. Finlay kicks JTG in the jaw in the corner. Finlay goes to DiBiase, Orton breaks it up... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

CODY RHODES IS #15. With Legacy all together now, they first focus on JTG, then on Triple H. Finlay tries to break it up, he takes a beat down. Then they turn to Mike Knox... Mysterio tries for the seated senton off the top rope, Orton catches him with an RKO. Knox recovers and throws Rhodes in the corner, charges, Rhodes gets a boot up. DiBiase comes over and tries t help Rhodes eliminate Knox. JTG and Jericho are slugging each other ... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

LIGHTS GO OUT! THE UNDERTAKER IS #16! All the action in the ring stops as Undertaker gets in and takes everybody apart one at a time! Fans are chanting "TAKER! TAKER! TAKER!" Undertaker grabs JTG and throws him out. JTG IS ELIMINATED. Undertaker throws Trips int he corner, punches, grabs Cody Rhodes, tries to whip him into Triple H in the corner, Trips moves, Rhodes eats the corner, then a Snake Eyes! 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

GOLDUST IS #17. Goldust and DiBiase go right for each other, Cody Rhodes runs up and pulls him off, and they go face to face. Rhodes with a right hand slap, then a punch, Goldust picks up Rhodes on his shoulders, throws him out, Rhodes saves himself. DiBiase attacks, Goldust fights him off, Cody shoulder blocks in, whips Goldust off the ropes, Goldust with a uppercut, throws Rhodes out again, Rhodes hangs on, DiBiase comes in, gets punched, Orton with the RKO on Goldust! he then grabs Cody and tells him to take out his brother, Rhodes grabs a handful of tights and throws him over. GOLDUST IS ELIMINATED. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

CM PUNK IS #18. Punk attacks Jericho, knee in the corner, goes after Rhodes, DiBiase grabs him, everybody is eating knees and feet from Punk! Bulldog on Jericho, Triple H kicks Punk in the gut, goes for the Pedigree, Punk goes for the GTS... PUNK NAILS TRIPLE H WITH THE GTS! Orton and Rhodes are trying to throw Orton out. Punk eats a big boot from Undertaker. Jericho is hanging on for dear life. Mysterio has Mike Knox in the corner laying in punches, Knox throws him over, Mysterio hangs on. Undertaker is being beaten by Finlay in the corner... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

MARK HENRY IS #19. Henry gets in and starts throwing headbutts, whips Undertaker off the ropes and takes him down with a clothesline. Knox charges Mysterio in the corner, Mysterio ducks it. Henry is stepping on Punk's chest in the corner, Triple H breaks it up, tries for a cross body block, Triple H takes a Worlds Strongest Slam. Punk tries to leap onto Henry from the turnbuckle, Henry catches him, tosses him out, Punk holds on... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

SHELTON BENJAMIN IS #20. Benjamin and Mysterio go at it, Shelton with a big Gorilla Press Slam on Mysterio. Jericho and Punk are fighting each other on the top rope, Shelton runs up and nails them both with a DDT. He tries to attacks Mark Henry, Henry throws a punch, Shelton blocks it and kicks Henry in the nuts! Triple H tries to eliminate Punk, he holds on. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

WILLIAM REGAL IS #21. Henry picks up Mysterio and tries to throw him out, Mysterio hangs on. Regal with a suplex on Punk then stomps him in the back of the head. Undertaker and Shelton in the corner, UT throwing elbows. MARK HENRY IS ELIMINATED BY REY MYSTERIO, who pulled down the top rope as he charged him. Triple H is on the ropes, being eliminated by Rhodes and DiBiase, but they can't finish the job. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

KOFI KINGSTON IS #22. Kingston goes for DiBiase, dropkicks on him, dropkicks on Knox, uppercut on Triple H, Russian Legsweep on Knox, followed by the legdrop! Jericho takes Kingston out with a clothesline. Finlay clubs Rhodes from behind. Undertaker and Knox pair off in the corner, Undertaker is busted open. Mysterio tries to eliminated DiBiase, who is calling for Rhodes to help, which he does. Benjamin tries to hit the Playmaker on Undertaker, Undertaker stops it and boots him out. SHELTON BENJAMIN IS ELIMINATED. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

KANE IS #23. Kane goes for the Legacy, uppercut to Knox, boots to DiBiase and Rhodes, side slam on Orton. Kane and Undertaker stare down in the middle of the ring.... look down on DiBiase, they pick him up for a double choke slam! The Brothers of Destruction, ladies and gentleman! They split up to attack others. Mysterio and Knox are back at it in one corner, CM Punk throws William Regal out, WILLIAM REGAL IS ELIMINATED. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

K-KWIK ... ER, R-TRUTH IS #24. Action is slowing down as lots of people are crowded in corners fighting. Triple H grabs R-Truth, whips him off the ropes, R-Truth with the corkscrew elbow. Jericho breaks up their fight to attack R-Truth. Kofi Kingston and Randy Orton try to eliminate Kane, Mysterio comes over to break it up. Kingtston and Mysterio pair off in the corner. Undertaker and Kane take turns with uppercuts on Kane. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

ROB VAN DAM IS #25!!!! Van Dam lays out everybody with kicks and punches, I had a bunch of stuff written but I accidentally refreshed my browser and lost it.

THE BRIAN KENDRICK IS #26. Kendrick runs in and eliminates Kingston KOFI KINGSTON IS ELIMINATED. Triple H throws Kendrick out. BRIAN KENDRICK IS ELIMINATED.

DOLPH ZIGGLER IS #27. He runs in and introduces himself to Kane, who throws him out. DOLPH ZIGGLER IS ELIMINATED. Orton is trying to eliminate RVD, but fails. Finlay attacks Orton. Undertaker attacking Triple H in the corner with headbutts and kicks... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

SANTINO MARELLA IS #28. SANTINO MARELLA IS ELIMINATED BY KANE just as soon as he slid in the ring! A NEW ROYAL RUMBLE RECORD!! Kane with the Snake Eyes on CM Punk in the corner. Undertaker and Triple H still slugging away, Jericho runs over and puts Undertaker in the corner with knees, tries to climb on top, Undertaker grabs him but Jericho plugs away with punches. Rhodes and DiBiase trying to eliminated RVD in the corner. Kane tries to eliminate Triple H, he hangs on. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

"HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN IS #29. HOOOOOO!! Duggan throws out rights, attacks the Undertaker AND KNOCKS HIM DA FUCK OUT! KANE IS HEADBUTTED BY DUGGAN! Duggan is throwing elbows and kicks and fists on everybody! RVD eats a punch! Rhodes eats a punch! HOOOOO!!! The crowd is behind him now! Jericho thries to eliminate Triple H, Duggan makes the save! Jericho recovers and clotheslines Mike Knox in the corner. Duggan tries to eliminate Kane, gives up, attacks Knox. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

THE BIG SHOW IS #30. He comes in and faces off with Undertaker, but Kane comes in and pops him. Jim Duggan comes in for some action, but gets tossed. JIM DUGGAN IS ELIMINATED. Big Show chops R-Truth a few times and throws him out. R-TRUTH IS ELIMINATED. CM Punk is on the apron, Big SHow knocks him out. CM PUNK IS ELIMINATED. REY MYSTERIO AND MIKE KNOX ELIMINATE EACH OTHER, no Randy Orton comes over and helps. Hornswaggle gets in and tries to help Fit Finlay, but he's eliminated by Knox. FIT FINLAY IS ELIMINATED. Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Kane. RVD kicks Big Show in the legs, Big Show nails him with body punches in the corner. Orton tries to eliminate Triple H, he hangs on, but Orton nails him with the DDT with his feet hanging over the ropes.

Big Show and Undertaker are face-to-face again. Big Show with a swing, Undertaker ducks it, they trade punches, Undertaker blocking all the punches, Jericho attacks Big Show from behind. RVD hits the splash on somebody, but Jericho turns around and dumps him out. ROB VAN DAM IS ELIMINATED. Jericho turns around and walks right into Undertaker, Taker with some punches, whips Jericho off the ropes, Jericho with the Codebreaker sends Taker reeling to the ropes, Jericho charges with a clothesline, Taker pulls down the ropes. CHRIS JERICHO IS ELIMINATED!

Randy Orton and Kane are fighting near the ropes, DiBiase and Rhodes run over to fight him off, KANE IS ELIMINATED. Triple H and Big Show square off in the corner, The Legacy attack Undertaker. Trips bounces off the ropes, Big Show chokeslams him. Undertaker being choked in the corner by The Legacy. They whip him to the opposite corner, but Undertaker recovers, clotheslines DiBiase and Rhodes, chokeslam on Orton, then DiBiase, then Rhodes! Undertaker turns around and is face-to-face with Big Show again.

Undertaker pulls down the straps, Big Show puts up his fists, swings, miss, swings, miss, they're trading punches, Taker whipped into the corner, Big Show charges, Taker puts up the boots, runs the ropes and clotheslines Big Show! Bug he doesn't stay down, Undertaker with a big boot to the face, Big Show goes over but he holds onto the ropes! He gets up, Undertaker with big rights, Big Show is reeling, Orton tries to take advantage with an RKO on Undertaker, but gets swatted! Big Show reaches out and grabs Undertaker in a choke hold, Undertaker grabs his own choke hold, they trade punches, Orton runs up and RKO on Big Show. BIG SHOW IS ELIMINATED! Rhodes and DiBiase run up and knocks Undertaker off the apron. UNDERTAKER IS ELIMINATED! Big Show gets in his face, they start trading blows and they go off into the crowd to fight.

Triple H is now facing down The Legacy, and they attack like a pack of jackals! Orton and DiBiase hold up Triple H as Orton beats him in the head. He tells them to pick him up again, each man takes an arm as Triple H fights them. Orton slaps Trips in the face, grabs the jaw, talks some smack, goes for an RKO but Triple H is able to shove him off! Rhodes whips Triple H off the ropes, eats a facebuster. DiBiase runs over SPINEBUSTER! Pedigree for Rhodes, NO Orton breaks it up, but Triple H backdrops him over the top!

Orton hangs on, but Triple H quickly grabs Rhodes by the tights and throws him over. CODY RHODES IS ELIMINATED! TED DIBIASE IS ELIMINATED JUST THE SAME! Randy Orton gets back in the ring, grabs a hand full of Triple H's tights and over The Game goes as well.

YOUR 2009 WWE ROYAL RUMBLE WINNER... "THE LEGEND KILLER" RANDY ORTON! DiBiase and Rhodes get back in the ring to celebrate with Orton, we run the highlights, but we now know that Randy Orton will headline the main event at WrestleMania 25 for any WWE title he wants! Orton climbs the turnbuckles as the pyros go off, Orton points to the WrestleMania 25 sign!


2 comments: on "Royal Rumble Recap"

Anonymous said...

great formating for the rumble match, delighted orton has won the rumble its the obvious choice has he has shit loadsa momentum at the min hes pretty much on fire!

shame jbl didnt get the strap tho but all in all pretty gd ppv i also love strikers commentary he like rogan really is a mark for his chosen proffesion and noes his shit!

Christopher Casúr said...

If Umaga is due for a push when he comes back, why in God's name did they put a picture of him tapping to the Bitchlock on the poster?

Oh, that's right, it's John Cena, and anything involving John Cena is allowed to not make any sense. Like the fact that he won even though Michaels' interference would have been the perfect springboard to build to an HBK/JBL main at WrestleMania.