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4.15.2008

Tha Raw Report: No Cena No Problem

On a special broadcast from across the pond WWE had a few surprises in store for us. There was a title change, a heel turn, a twist at the end, but the best part of all, absolutely, positively no John Cena. You will get no bigger O from me. That much I guarantee you.

Alas, the show wasn’t without its fair share of no’s either. Jericho’s constant back and forth teasing of a heel turn is getting old, but it’ll be drawn out until Backlash, kind of anyway. Shawn Michaels' wardrobe change constantly and sometimes is bordering on Brokeback Mountain.

It was quite nice to see William Regal getting a pop, but it was even better to see him wrestle. I personally marked out for the little bit of European wrestling I got to see. Regal can flat go, and seeing the Regal-plex reminded me of just how good he is, and how much of a shame it is he never got to shine as a major singles player.

He got runs with the IC and European gold, but not the big belts. I was in the grouping of people that thought when “SmackDown!” was on it’s A show run he should have gotten either a run or a big feud with the World champ, no matter who it was.

The match he and Orton had proved two things. William Regal is a great worker, and Randy Orton is truly one of the most improved guys in the E. It also proved that a good match still has a place in the E no matter what they try to make you believe with John Cena and Batista.

We finally got to see a title change, and it’s one that I can honestly get behind. Mickie James took Beth Phoenix’s Women’s Championship after six months and one week. It was a great women’s match that didn’t occur in TNA. It was also nice to see some emotion shown after a title win.

Shoot or kayfabe, the tears weren’t a negative. It’s nice to see a championship mean something to someone. It was a bit overdone to have Maria and Ashley out on the ramp celebrating, and it was really overdone to have Todd Grisham come out. Post match interviews should happen backstage.

I guess adding Jericho to the Batista/Michaels program is going to break off into a Michaels/Jericho program. Another one, which will make for good matches, but I’m just wondering how many feuds will stem from Ric Flair’s retirement? I guess it says something for you that even when you’re gone guys still fight because of you.

The upcoming Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch breakup will do what other tag team splits only wish they could do. It will spawn two future single’s stars. Cade has it, Murdoch has it, it’s not your normal tag team that spawns one star and another fades into the darkness or another company.

The incest angle is going to continue apparently. If not wouldn’t they have scrapped it and packaged them differently. Katie Lea and Pirate, er, just Paul are still together, and according to reports, yes, Paul is still a 247 pounder. I do like the “curb stomp” finisher though.

The JBL/Triple H match was one that most people would foam at the mouth over. I’m sure given build and a PPV spot it could be spectacular, but on “Raw” it just screams guess what other member of the feud is going to interfere. It turned out to be Orton interfering not Cena which was a huge, huge positive.

JBL completely working the crowd and having Orton and H working them as well was completely brilliant. I loved the conclusion to the show. JBL standing tall with the belt at the end of the show helps build some steam for Backlash. Hopefully though, Orton will walk away from Backlash with the gold still around his waist, but I doubt it.

Onto the main event of the night, Santino (the one with the fro) and Carlito (the one with the Italian accent) are the new #1 contenders to the World Tag Team Champions. HYPE! The promo that Santino cut after the match had me standing and laughing and elicited a big fat OOOOOOOOOOO, not to mention it’s time for new tag team champs so that basically means that Santino Marella will be wearing gold.

King of the Ring has been announced for next week. You heard it here first, unless you went somewhere else that the eight guys announced are Big Show, Y2J, MVP, Batista, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Umaga and the guy who I’m guessing will be the eventual winner, CM Punk.

What better way to build steam for CM Punk than to have Punk win the “legendary” King of the Ring tournament? I guess though now we don’t get a draft lottery? Since KotR is a one night only thing how about Punk winning and then cashing in after Backlash? Wishful thinking I know, but I’m a Punk mark.

You know who else would be a damn good King of the Ring? Santino Marella. He could come out with a crown and a scepter and proclaim himself "King Santino," and he could tell everyone that he won the Ring's King tournament in one night. Dammit you can't tell me that wouldn't be gold.

Quick results in case you missed it…
*Carlito & Santino Marella def. London & Kendrick
*Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix to become Women’s Champion
*JTG def. Trevor Murdoch
*Randy Orton def. William Regal
*Chris Jericho def. Umaga
*Paul Burchill def. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
*Triple H def. JBL via Disqualification


23 comments: on "Tha Raw Report: No Cena No Problem"

the CAVEMAN said...

King of the Ring will be Triple H because he is the King of Kings (YAWN) and what way better to put the belt back on him (YAWN), since he apparently is pushing hard for it backstage, than by having the King of Kings and newly crowned King of the Ring who will then become Kings of all Kings worldwide, cause his ego and nose are that big, have the belt. It would be nice to see Punk win or even MVP or Y2J but this is the E and they only know how to drop balls and come up with shitty ideas.

Now as far as raw I saw one match and all I saw was the ending of the James/Phoenix Match. I was watching Baseball. Baseball isn't predictable like the E and it doesn't sell out its fans for little kids, Sell out its fans for money yes , but little kids no. Viva La Beisbol!!!!

The White Profit said...

The White Profit is white-hot with rage after last night. Got Trevor Murdoch, a true blue-collar white man, getting beat from some weak roll-up by a guy who talks about making money. Give me a break, man's spent the last six months sitting on his couch at home, he doesn't know about making that money.

Got Shawn Michaels coming out, you gotta be shitting me with that kind of attire. Man's a first ballot hall of famer, and he's being dragged out on national television looking like he just came off of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Don't tell me the E respects the caucasian men that put them on the map.

William Regal, there's another white boy ain't ever got his shine. Man can wrestle circles around the rest of the company, and what does he get? Gets piss in his tea and jobs out in his home country. I can see a Regal and Punk tag team real soon, call it "Oppressed Whiteys".

Thank God that Holly and Rhodes are still holdinbg those titles, showing how the white man does business. Now they're gonna take them off for some overrated Latino and a white guy being forced to pretend he's Italian. What's this damn business coming to. Don't tell me other races got it bad in this business, there's plenty of white boys being held down, and I'm not sitting around taking it in stride anymore.

This is The White Profit, the prophet whose words are money.

Anonymous said...

I was really glad to hear the King of the Ring was back, and that it would take place in one show instead of various shows with the finals being at a ppv like last time... but the people involved are very, very disappointing.... the King of the Ring was a tourny that would help push a guy from mid-card to main event and from curtain jerker to mid-carder, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, and Batista don't need to be involved, why not throw Matt Hardy, Kennedy, Santino, and Carlito in there instead? While I've always poped for King of the Ring, am pretty sure this one will blow.

BigDaddy said...

WHITE PROFIT!!

EMAIL ME!
bigdaddy@thaoshow.com

Andrew Gray said...

Few comments . . .

- I don't think the KOTR participants are final yet . . . Mr. Kennedy and Finlay are named in the preview and those photos have since been taken down from wwe.com

- Paul Burchill's foot stomp is dumb as a finisher

- White Profit . . . that was hilarious

- Pretty good Raw overall: no Cena and some solid matches: JBL-HHH, Jericho-Umaga, Carlito&Santino-Hooly&Rhodes, Regal-Orton . . . but I wish there would have been more build for Mickie and Beth's match

D.J.B. said...

So who will take the throne this year as WWE’s newest monarch? Will the Green Bay loudmouth back up his harsh words and be hailed as King Kennedy? Will Finlay brawl his way to becoming a Celtic King? Will CM Punk mount the throne with briefcase in hand? It’s anybody’s guess, but one thing is for certain: Superstars who enter this tournament will give everything they have to be honored with the glory and prestige of being crowned as King of the Ring.

That's now according to WWE.com...so thanks WWE.com for being complete jackasses with absolutely no ability to do anything. No wonder your web traffic drops you cocksucking mother fuckers.

Andrew Gray said...

SHOOOT!

Anonymous said...

imhot. people said jericho carried umaga in their match. any thoughts i got real hot at that statement

Jeter said...

In the famous words of the last great color-commentator sidekick Joel Gertner...

Well, well, well.

After watching old tape footage of the Four Horsemen (the groups that didn't include Sid or Mongo) to remind me what good wrestling is all about, i'm stil not impressed with what Uncle Vince is doing.

Granted, I haven't watched as much wrestling as I used to, I still keep my ear (and sometimes one eye at least) turned to what is going on...and jesus christ, it's the same shit for the most part as it was two or three years back. RAW still sucks, Smackdown isn't much better (albeit, it can be better than RAW some weeks), and ECW...well, that's all I need to say.

Starting with the most recent match I managed to watch all the way through, I thought Jericho/Umanga (as our beloved Brit puts it) was solid gold all the way through. If there was ever something fresh to start with, it's staring the E right in the face. Forget moving Umaga over to FNS, keep him on RAW and have him and Jericho start a program and string that along for a few PPV's at least.

Flair's retirement. I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole other than the fact that I know i'm not the only one that believes that Vinny Mac should've spent the Floyd Mayweather money on someone that can actually perform in the ring and get some guy named Sting to wrestle Flair. At least that's my take on it.

Cryme Tyme. How in the bloody hell did these guys get their job back? And with that not withstanding, are they going to finally be able to use their tag team title shot that they won a year or so ago? Or are they going to have to job out week after week and finally snatch it up again cause there aren't any other teams to go up against? Wait...why am I talking about tag team wrestling in the E? That shit doesn't exist.

My take on 'Mania. I was there and it was a waste of my $900 per seat. Only time I spent watching anything was Flair/Michaels, Edge/Taker, and people sitting up in orbit around the Citrus Bowl being lit up like Jeff Hardy's mobile home. What? Too soon? Okay, i'll wait to crack more jokes on that one.

Al Snow getting shit-canned because of OVW. Hey Vince, here's an idea...fire all of your ECW guys minus Malenko and Rhodes. Oh wait, you just moved Dusty to FCW. To make that product better. Well, it looks like FCW is now on television and it's name is ECW (on a side note, FCW actually does have a tv deal here in Florida on the local channels).

This just in. Eddie has turned over in his grave numerous times over this Edge/Vickie angle.

What's gonna happen with the "Vince's bastard son" angle? Let's hope they pick up where they left off and go the Mr. Kennedy...KENNEDY route.

Onward to TNA, and thank god I can keep my rants on them as short and poignant as possible.

The "Stone Cold" Shark Boy gimmick is not funny anymore. Hell son, it wasn't funny the first time. Despite what Steve Austin says himself, it just sucks period.

Wait a few weeks for Kurt and Karen to link back up on tv and then split again. Come on? Who writes this shit? Oh that's right...Russo, Mantel, and Jarrett.

Putting the belt on Joe was the second best thing the company could do aside from pushing the hell out of Awesome Kong.

Speaking of the AK...why doesn't TNA take the route they have been and copy another thing the E did several years ago with Chyna? Let her take a run towards the X Division title at least. Cause God knows that would actually bring some "O's" to everyone watching.

I hear I actually missed out on a good TNA ppv in Lockdown. Gonna have to find that on YouTube or Myspace and watch that. But probably could've gone without Frank Trigg. Guy is only famous for being put to sleep twice by Matt "Hey guys i'm an asshole" Hughes and not much else.

This "Super Eric" trash is about as stinky now as it was when it first came about. I hate it, I lose sleep over it, I want to kill myself over it. For fuck sake! At least the Charlie Haas luchadore "gimmick" is more entertaining than this shit.

Why does Don West still have a job? Why hasn't TNA gone out of their way to get someone who can try to be good to take Don's place? It hurts me now to even listen to iMPACT regardless or not if i'm in another room. At this rate, i'd rather watch old Nitro footage to hear Tony Schiavone call the shots.

Those are the words of a pissed off Texan. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Jeter said...

Almost forgot....JBL isn't gold on the mic anymore.

He's solid fucking platinum.

Anonymous said...

I HATE SUPER ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I HATE SUPER ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I HATE SUPER ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

D.J.B. said...

Somebody hates Super Eric guys. Be on alert.

Anonymous said...

So on the whole Kong thing (wrong column I know), I read an article from Lance Storm where he thought that she should wrestle Kurt, then recently read an article (Sun?) where Kurt thought he should wrestle her.
Just thought I'd mention it.

CJF said...

Back to Raw... how nasty-looking was Regal's botched suplex? Ouch for Orton's head; it seemed like he wouldn't be able to keep going for a few seconds there.

D.J.B. said...

That Regalplex was SICK. I don't know if it was botched, but yeah it was nasty looking. I've been wondering, how long has it been since Regal wrestled? When he was in the battle royal where he became Raw GM? I think that's it, but I'm not sure.

Anonymous said...

when he did the match with triple h and he was the last person

PFK said...

RAW rating was down again.

Time for the Fed to take the belt off Orton.

the CAVEMAN said...

the ratings have nothing to do with Orton who is gold as champ. I'm not a mark for him but he has impressed me and I like the title on him. I think he has finally come into his own. The ratings are down because they gearing everything for 6 yr olds and force feeding it to us. Seriously who likes Cena besides little kids and pubescent girls? If you constantly feed people shit they will eventually walk away and find a new place to eat. The writing and storylines suck ass, the people they want us to like suck ass. And long as you have old guys in the back afraid to lose their spots and keep the people everyone want to see down the product will suck. I would much rather be watching Santino, Carlito, Kennedy, Umaga, Orton, Punk, Cade, Murdoch, D.H. Smith, MVP,Hardy, Finlay, Edge, Burke, Benjamin, Striker and guys like that battle for the world titles than Cena, HHH, Michaels, JBL,and guys like that.

Shammy_D said...

Did anybody see the sign :

John Cena for 5 to 12 yr olds!!

GOLD!!!

Downtown said...

Did anyone see the ref throw the x after the regalplex on orton? he hit it twice, and directed it to the announcer table area so maybe it was a play... I havent heard anything from anyone online about it so i assume orton is fine... but goddamn that shit was nasty

D.J.B. said...

Ya Shammy I saw that sign. As a matter of fact if at the last minute I get to go to Raw KotR in Greenville I'm making one too.