Extreme Edition

I'm not really sure how I felt about last night's ECW. I mean, they didn't really do anything so horribly wrong that I'm going to unleash a stream of profanity, but while it was good, it seemed like the entire show and the matches were just a sequence of going through the motions.

For example, the show starts off with Kane taking on Elijah Burke. Kane's not involved in any angle leading into WrestleMania, nor is Elijah Burke, so this just screams random. A decent enough match between two solid workers, though.

By the way, Black Prophet, since I know this is coming up...Glen Jacobs was born in Madrid, so the Big Hispanic Machine is no less of a minority than Burke. Hell, Dan-e-o is technically whiter than Kane.

James Curtis is apparently now sporting a Psycho Sid-esque gimmick, with short blonde hair, short trunks, and a leather vest. However, even with a new look, he's still jobber meat, and he got squashed by Kofi Kingston last night. I don't see Kofi lasting very long in WWE. He can work, and he can pull off his gimmick, but there's really nowhere to go for him on ECW, and if they're exclusively featuring him on Tuesday nights, eventually the writers will push him to the wayside.

CM Punk is hilarious. If you missed it, he was talking to Jesse about Festus, and noted "I have an uncle who gets that same look every Thanksgiving. It's usually after three bottles of wine, though." Moments after that promo, the aforementioned trio took on MNM 2.0 and Shelton Benjamin. Festus pinned The Miz to build up the tag team title match on Friday.

As I've said multiple times over the past few months, I'm sincerely hoping that Jesse and Festus get a decent run with the tag belts. It would be the shot in the arm that the tag team division on "SmackDown!" has sorely needed since The Hooliganz got moved to "Raw". I'm pulling for them to go over on Friday night (I haven't looked at spoilers yet, obviously), but unfortunately for me, I won't see it if they do, as I will be at HSBC Arena, most likely scrapping with some drunk Maple Leafs fans. Goddamn bear-huggers.

Following up that insensitive comment (editor's note: put away the pitchforks and shotguns, I didn't actually mean it, kayfabe's a wonderful thing) I would like to add a personal note here and mention that it's fucking sweet to cover the shows that nobody cares about. Because nobody cares about the show, nobody reads the article, so I never get heat for saying crude things. To prove my point...Frank, I want to chop you until you bleed like a menstruating hemophiliac.

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, back to ECW. Colin Delaney's gimmick right now is dope. WWE has run underdog angles in the past, with varying levels of success, but this may be the best underdog angle ever. This guy's such an underdog, they haven't even given him an entrance. No music, no video, nothing.

It's refreshing, especially considering the last time they ran an angle like this. Spanky wasn't under contract, yet somehow he kept finding ways backstage, and he had entrance music and an entrance video. It was one of those things that I didn't think about at the time, but looking back, it didn't make any sense.

Not to mention, I am O'ing for his in-ring work. He's always selling, and what little offense he's allowed to get in, he executes in a believable manner. One such example was near the end of his match with Chavo Guerrero last night (a match in which, if he won, he would be signed to a contract). With Delaney down, Chavo Guerrero went for a frog splash. At the last second, Delaney moved out of the way, and Chavo missed.

Now, if this were a Cena match, Johnny would be up, dancing about, and pumping up his shoes in preparation for his oh-so-technially-sound STFU. Delaney, however, limply crawls over to Chavo and slowly turns him over for a quick pin attempt. Is it a big high spot that makes you "O"? No. But does it make sense? Of course! If you're beat up and fighting for your dream, you're going to do the same damn thing. Try to get a quick pinfall every chance you get. Smart on the part of Delaney. Props to him, I hope he's around for a long time to come.

The Results:
Kane def. Elijah Burke
Kofi Kingston def. James Curtis
CM Punk, Jesse & Festus def. Shelton Benjamin, John Morrison & The Miz
Chavo Guerrero def. Colin Delaney

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