Tha "iMPACT!" Dispatch: Shit Happens

How fitting that last night's episode of "iMPACT!" opened with Robert Roode stating that "shit happens"? Right on, Robert. Shit does happen. And last night, shit happened for about an hour and forty minutes on my television. Thank God the main event was great, at least.

I believe TNA has completely eradicated any doubt that Senshi actually left. Originally the report said that he was granted an immediate release. Then, after he showed up on "iMPACT!" a few weeks later, the story became that TNA was granting him a release, but only after he compted in his last match at Final Resolution. Now, it is clear that TNA worked the audience both times.

Senshi paired with his Triple X partner, Elix Skipper, to take on MotorCity Machine Guns, who were continually put over as having been screwed at the pay-per-view last Sunday. Or, as Don West it, "they were outscrewed". Another commentary gold nugget from TNA's expert on nuggets.

Team 3D would come out later in the show to discuss the Final Resolution match, as well as issue another challenge to Sabin, Shelley, and Lethal. The rematch will take place at Against All Odds. As a side note, how sad is it that now anytime a wrestler throws down a challenge in TNA, it's immediately accompanied by "Here are the stipulations"?

Speaking of which, the stipulations for this particular match state that if the Guns and Lethal win, they will regain possession of the X Division Championship. However, if Team 3D wins, the X Division will cease to exist. Now, I know that TNA isn't going to rid their program of the X Division (as well as multiple superstars whom they would probably consider useless without it), but I keep getting the feeling that there is somebody in the back who legitimately has a grudge against this sort of division.

Chris Harris cannot get over in TNA, folks. At least, not without some time off and a total repackaging. His whiner gimmick is already stale, his look is bland, and at the moment he really offers nothing that would make me want him on my TV. So what does TNA do? Use him in the Mesias/Abyss feud, a feud that also has done little to grab my attention. Honestly, unless Abyss' secret is ODB's number, I really don't care.

Booker T and Robert Roode could possibly have one of the biggest money feuds of the entire year in any promotion. The tools are all there. Two great workers, a backstory to make people care, and a slow burn. Save the payoff match of this feud until Lockdown and it'll be unbelievably sweet. In the meantime, however, Robert Roode finally "fired" Traci last night. I'm not sure what this means for Traci in the near future; possibly a short feud with Ms. Banks (the stalker of recent weeks) some time off would be my best guess. I doubt she'll align herself with Booker T, since he already has a lovely maiden at his side.

AJ Styles is a seriously funny bastard trapped in an unfunny storyline. Now, next week "iMPACT!" will feature AJ Styles VS. Christian Cage VS. Samoa Joe in a triple threat match in which the winner will earn a title shot. However, if AJ wins, he can either take the title shot, or give Angle two months off and no title defenses until Lockdown.

As stated earlier, the main event was awesome, no pun intended. As much as TNA loves to give themselves hully over how innovative they are, I believe them when they say that they are reinventing women's wrestling. For the past few years, women's wrestling has bordered on being a joke in WWE. Now, with the Knockouts Division and great workers like TNA has, wrestling fans actually care about women's wrestling again.

Think about it. On "Raw" this week, we saw the women in a lingerie pillow fight. On "iMPACT!", we were treated to the payoff match to TNA's hottest and best build feud currently. Awesome Kong as the centerpiece of that division can help lead it to greatness. (Writer's note: badstepdaddy, that Kong pic is for you. I like to give back to those who loyally read my articles.)

On a side note, Gail Kim suffered a concussion in this match. Tha O Show would like to wish her a speedy and full recovery.

Tha results:
*MotorCity Machine Guns def. Triple X
*Judas Mesias def. Chris Harris
*Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt def. Voodoo Kin Mafia
*LAX def. Rock and Rave Infection (Jimmy Rave and Lance Hoyt)
*Tomko def. Sharkboy
*Awesome Kong def. Gail Kim to win TNA Knockouts Championship

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