FNF: Only One Way To Go

After last weeks above-average “SmackDown!” we knew that this week would revert back to sheer disappointment. The “SmackDown!” writers have absolutely no idea how to write for a heel GM or for that matter anyone at all. Way to go you big dummies.

To begin the show we have Miss Daisy and Hoke, played by Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long respectively. Then we get to see Mysterio cut a promo on her for moving on with Edge. To cap it all off we get Chavo and a quasi-face turn. He heels on Rey, but heels on Vickie. Talk about a tweener.

Well boys and girls, that’s just a small fraction of the complete and total blasphemy that is Friday Night “ShitDown!”

“SmackDown!” this week looked half decent on paper, but you can hardly believe what you’re reading on the E’s website anyway. Not only are we now forced to deal with the sub-par writing of the “SmackDown!” staff, but we’re forced to hear Coach on commentary. The writing my friends is on the wall, and if you can see the writing on the wall, you’re in the toilet.

Some had said, before JBL took over at the “SmackDown!” booth and talent got better as did the writing that “SmackDown!” was in danger of being cancelled. Then last years Draft happened, and it reverted back to nothingness. Just to check it, I death clocked “SmackDown” and it was scheduled to die last week. I guess the nail in the coffin was Jonathan Coachman joining Michael Cole in the booth. It was touched on during the O Show this week, but I’ll go a step further and say that these guys shouldn’t be together at a table unless it’s in catering.

As big of a fan as I was of the Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble program, I never thought that it would take a turn for the worst. Actually I did, but I truly hoped not. The only bright spot of this feud is Michelle McCool. Chuck Palumbo was the first person in history to fail out of the “Fatty Fronte School of Acting.” I didn’t know if the guy was constipated, or if he was having the big one. I was expecting him to ask Elizabeth if she heard it because he was coming to join her.

The worst part of all of it isn’t the fact that this angle has been done 100 times before, it’s the fact that Noble just stood at the top of the non-ramp and glared at Palumbo and it was enough to make him stop. Palumbo sold a look from Jamie Noble. John Cena can’t sell a legit shoulder injury, go figure. The payoff for this feud, if you can call it that once it gets there will probably be the smallest payoff since we found out Stevie Richards was the butch bitch that was following Victoria around. How many people remember Tomko ripping the wig off?

One of the biggest problems with this weeks “SmackDown!” was the fact that The Undertaker, who is quite possibly still the biggest draw in the WWE was used mid-card in a nothing match against Mark Henry and Matt Striker. How could that not be held off until a PPV? I know nobody wants to see Henry and Taker again on a PPV, which leads to an even bigger question. Why is the E still going with this? I know they’re trying to push Big Daddy V vs. Taker for later on, but should Henry be used as fuel to a bigger feud, and Taker at mid-card on "SmackDown!"?

The announcement was made that both The Undertaker and Batista have been placed into the Royal Rumble match, which leads to yet another question. Why does The Undertaker need to be placed into the Rumble again this year? He was last years winner, and unless the E plans on putting him over again, why waste our time and have Big Daddy V, Mark Henry, and Matt Striker eliminate him this year, wasting 3 or 4 spots in the Rumble? We don’t need the “same shit new year,” gimmick at this years Rumble. Buck the trend and do something new.

Another slight complaint about Michael Cole, as he was putting over the JBL/Y2J match, he said that he sat beside JBL for 2 years and never knew he was that vicious. JBL spent the duration of his run at the top on “SmackDown!” therefore all his vile and vicious actions occurred with Michael Cole at the announce table. It hasn’t been mentioned in a while, but the revisionist history from the WWE has to stop. It’s unnerving, and it’s insulting. I’m beginning to think that Dave Prazak, Jimmy Bower, and Lenny Leonard are my favorite announce combo, and all the rest are tied for least favorite.

The Rey and Chavo match was a solid match, and Edge on commentary completely saved it. Edge is single handedly making chicken salad out of the chicken shit that is “ShitDown!” The after the match beat down of Mysterio where Edge, Hawkins and Ryder took Rey out, and Edge repeatedly said "you can’t do it," reeks of a title change. It won’t happen, but Rey and Edge both selling it that way is going to suspend that disbelief. Just like Hardy and Orton, the one positive the E has going is that both championships appear to have the possibility of changing hands at the Rumble, even though they wont. I'll give the E an A+ on booking their top 2 title matches.

All in all, “SmackDown!” this week lived up to its potential, which isn’t much. The best parts of “SmackDown!” were Edge’s commentary, Mysterio selling the attack, and Michelle McCool. Right now the E is batting .234 and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get better anytime soon.

Quick results incase you missed it…
*Jamie Noble def. Chuck Palumbo
*Batista def. MVP via count out
*Undertaker def. Matt Striker and Mark Henry
*Hornswaggle def. Runjin Singh in an arm wrestling match
*Kane def. Domino
*Rey Mysterio def. Chavo

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