Wow! What a difference a week can make. This week's ECW... didn't bore me! I still miss the days when they would give me enough material to write a witty intro, but after last week's dibacle... I'm thankful to have anything to write at all.If only for the main event... John Morrison giving CM Punk his "15 Minutes of Fame". I love this gimmick, and if they keep Morrison as a "long-term" champion, I hope he keeps this gimmick going. I can't believe that I'm calling a match with a time limit a gimmick though.
When I was growing up, every match had a time limit. It added suspense, and a realistic feel. Like when I wrestled throughout my school days: 9 minutes, three minutes per period, and that was it.
Back to the main event. All in all...this was a good match. Great technical wrestling to start it off, a few good spots mid-way, and Morrison allowed Punk to be the face and shine.
But, leave it to me to point out what I didn't like...in numerical fashion.
#1. There was no reason for the guys to be focusing on the clock two minutes into the match.
#2. Sloppy, confused setup for certain spots.
#3. The amazingly toned, conditioned champion lost his wind only ten minutes in, leaving the finish to match...how do I put this? Slow and pathetic!
Dusty "Fucking" Rhodes could work a 60 minute match in his fat-ass heyday. So explain to me how this guy's tank is running empty 10 minutes into a 15 minute match. I'll tell who to point the finger at, and it's not Morrison. No, No! I blame the bookers and trainers. They have gotten so wrapped up in today's "drive-thru, self-checkout, here-today-gone-today" lifestyle, they've forgotten all about the art of the profession that pays their bills.
Anyways, onto the rest of the show.
Let's start with the only well delivered feud currently in ECW: The Boogeyman and Big Daddy V (featuring Matt Striker). This is the only story on ECW with the elements and ingredients to create interest.Boogeyman is rather over with the crowd. I know it has been said, but I need to reiterate: CHARACTERS SELL! And there is no one in the entire WWE roster, that has been signed in the past five years, that is more dedicated to their character than The Boogeyman. Do I have to mention (again) that the guy opted to not have his teeth replaced, after losing them in training, in order to further sell his character?
And once again, I must point out that it is the subtitles that help further a character. For example: the all black contacts, the muppet hair-piece, chewing worms and regurgitating them into your defeated opponents face! Hell, when Ted DiBiase beat you, you got a $100 bill in your mouth...this guy's feeding you nightcrawlers!
Onto things we can all agree on. Elijah Burke is great! I know it's a broken record...but the guy is so damn awesome. This week, YOUR Paragon of Virtue, YOUR Guiding Light chalked up another win over Tommy Dreamer (dawning the jobberific SummerSlam t-shirt) with the "Elijah Express". Hopefully, next week the writers will be able to help Burke move on to greater things.Tha Breakdown:
Boogeyman def. Jessie Guilmette
Elijah Burke def. Tommy Dreamer
The Miz def. Balls Mahoney in the same exact shitty match, botching the only spot in the match, with the exact same pre-match promo.
Backstage promo with Stevie Richards ending withan attack from Kevin Thorn
CM Punk def. John Morrison 14:55 into "15 Minutes of Fame" match, entitling him to a title shot at SummerSlam
14 comments: on "Tha TNE Throwaway"
Elijah Burke sure as hell isn't my anything. I was SO high on this guy with the New Breed, and I like him with Sylvester Turkay on SmackDown.
Now, there is nothing. Same spots, same match, same finishes. And what is with the Scott Hall entrance? Put some ooze on his tights, Christ already. Shake it up. Leave out or add a spot. I'm all for atheletes, and gimmicks, but what exactly is his gimmick now? Beads and he can talk? Fuck me dead.
Tommy has always been a jobberific shirt mark. Remember the WWE Psych Ward t-shirt? Yeah, every event since he's been in the company, the Get the F Out shirt, every shirt they've made he's worn.
Fuck the Miz. I thought maybe ECW would breathe new life into him, but they haven't they've sucked more out.
You want great? C.M. Punk. John Morrison's new music. The way he carries himself. Feathered hair. Feathered hair. Brooke. Layla. Kelly Kelly. This is the new shit as a wrestling opening theme. Those things are great. Last nights ECW was good. Jobber #743 that lost to the Boogeyman last night, was not. I like that you remembered his name, cause all I got was Jessie Geeeuhwhat? I thought he was advertising shaving cream. Which is funny cause I still use Barbasol. It's the only shaving cream that doesnt give razor burn to those with the coursest of facial hair.(Barbasol sign me to an endorsement deal)
The Boogeyman IS. I agree with you 99%. The only person who is more dedicated to their character is that ugly fucking Snitsky. Dude got his teeth DYED that brown color. Those are two dedicated muthahutchers. Props to them.
Here's a question . . . will they de-push CM Punk in order to save the "15 Minutes of Fame" gimmick? Because it can't continue if Morrison isn't champ. Let's hope not. This title reign has been a clusterfuck. Why they didn't just let Punk take it at Vengeance I'll never know. They put the belt on a guy who they obviously had no plans for at the time and were jsut making shit up on the fly. Then a few weeks into his reign, and as he may have been starting to become a believable champ, they change his gimmick and go from trying to have the title make him to having him make the title . . . and he just doesn't have what it takes. Winded after 10 minutes? Lifeless promos? Sad.
Here's hoping that Punk takes the title and dominates ECW until the next draft, when he can take the next step up to RAW or SD.
Amen, Metal God
DJB: Burke don't need a gimmick, just an amplified personality, which he has
Morrison's theme is even worse now, the only catchy part of it before was the opening low E bend... and they took that out! The first note, bar, word, effect, whatever of a wrestler's theme is key to the initial pop(ie "IF YA SMELL!!!, glass breaking for Stonecold, "Are You Ready?")
But the new ECW theme is much better... I hate Drowning Pool... We opened for theme before and talk about a bunch of talentless dicks...
Burke has an amped up personality? From what beads? Seriously, beads? Walking like Scott Hall? A stalling headstand elbow drop? A funny shaped head? Help me out man.
Tell me your memory spans further than 4 weeks. Go to ECW.com and watch some Elijah Burke video. Look at the big picture and you will see. I promise.
Your memory must last 4 posts. I used to be huge on Burke, but since the New Breed disbanded he has done nothing. Upon his debut he was paired with Turkay. I just don't find him entertaining on his own. He's a decent worker, but he has 1 style of match. I've seen it now for 6 months.
Hell, it took RVD several weeks to draw out a 4-star match. And that's with the addition of the 5 star frog splash.
Donnie says that Kennedy is "exposed" on RAW, I think that it would be damn near detrimental for Burke to go to RAW right now. Burke may get back to that point, but I don't know what it is, he either isn't what I thought he was, or just took a step back.
This conversation is really putting my "the two D.J.B.'s are really the same person" theory into serious jeopardy. I can't say I'm thrilled with Burke right now but I think he has it in him to be a top guy, but he's just sort of coasting right now - he'd get lost in the RAW shuffle faster than you can say "Who-ligans?" I think once Marcus Cor Von returns we may see them do more with him. Oh, and does anybody else think its weird that RVD is STILL listed as an ECW superstar on WWE.com?
Holy Shit! We are the two "DJB"s!
Dude that's freaky as shit, especially after the twins comment from way back. DAMN! I need to go eat some SPAM! I met a guy that fought in NAM! I work with a dude named SAM! Now, Metal God your theory is wrong so WHAM! I'm out of stupid things to say, so I'll say this: I am not Jeff Brown, and Jeff Brown is not D.J. Batchler, D.J. Batchler is the Notorious D.J.B, Jeff Brown is "Downtown" Jeff Brown, and aint neither one of us muhfuckers Downtown Julie Brown, so dog don't even bring that shit in it. Sad thing is, me and Jeff are both currently residing in the Northern Cackalack, BAM!
I will also say this since we are in the identity realm, Burke would get lost in the shuffle faster than a Diva Search contestants bag near Randy Orton when he had to shit. Burke could be a top guy, don't think I'm denying that, I'm denying that he's anywhere near it right now.
Speaking of Marcus Cor Von, there was a death in his family and apparently he's taking it very hard, so here's hoping Cor Von can come back and make ECW that much better again, thoughts and prayers are with him.
By the way, the reason none of this makes sense is because I've been awake for 38 hours worked 2 twelve hour shifts and am about to go do it again in 4 hours and I have an upset stomach.
We are neither one another, but we could be brothers from another mother
Brothers from another mother? I'll take it one step further, if neither is the other, who tells the difference between one another?
their mother
Bingo!
I actually feel myself getting dumber when I watch ECW. I love that whoever comes out wearing a shirt for the next PPV will lose ("The Funaki Effect!"). Why even print them? They are only good for 3 weeks.
Burke is my new Jesus. When I drop my lump in some broads sump' I dont scream "Jesus!" anymore. I scream, "Here comes the Elijah Express!" much tyo the delight of whores all over Hollywood. Burke is awesome. I wish he had more TV time. With Terkay he wasnt anything special. Dude barely even wrestled. When I finally got to see him go I was like, "How fucking long was this dude wasted on Smackdown?!"
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