WOW! Vince McMahon truly is the most vengeful man I have ever seen. McMahon, for years, has had the reputation of being overly defensive and constantly feeling like everyone is against him. However, blatantly ripping on congress and the media is beyond vindictive, it is downright petty. It's amazing that in Vince's mind, a government that wants to help clean up the business you supposedly love is the villain.In the days leading up to Vince's return on "Raw" we had heard all kinds of rumors as to what he would be saying. The car explosion angle was brought up and ended when Vince claimed he had staged his own death. I think the angle should have been laid to rest and I don't think anyone would blame WWE for dropping this storyline. For a company that drops angles constantly, not mentioning the car explosion would have been okay with me.
And what the hell was with Vince's haircut?
Vince's return to "Raw" wasn't totally a vain attempt to take shots at the government or media. The addition of William Regal as the new GM of "Raw" is awesome. However, after just having seen a battle royal on "SmackDown!" a few weeks ago, I wasn't exactly popping to see another. On top of that, having the heel hide for most of the match and then steal the win is an angle that has been done numerous times and is a sign of a writing staff with no fresh ideas. Repetitiveness is just plain lazy and is symptomatic of having too much television time. More on that later.
The ridiculous writing continued when John Cena came out for "Cena's Cabana". I actually didn't mind the segment and thought John made the best of some lame jokes and a corny angle. I think Cena has much more range as a serious babyface then he is allowed to show and an intense verbal assault would have been more fitting after getting an apple spit in your face.Is anyone else really liking the song "Whine Up" as the official theme of Summerslam?
The epic feud between King Booker and Jerome Lawler continued this week with a match between the two veterans. I guess life could be worse then selling the offense from an old man, but I still think King Booker should have won clean and not needed interference to win his match. This now sets up a ceremony next week on "Raw" where Lawler will crown King Booker and I really couldn't care less. Having King Booker cut promos on Triple H for five weeks would be much more entertaining than this.
After Big Daddy claimed last week on Tha O Show that he wasn't smelling Kennedy's shit any longer and thought the Green Bay native was exposed for being one-dimensional, Kennedy comes out and says very little. The promo started out having a lot of promise with Kennedy doing some good facials and posing a question to the fans, but just saying your name five plus times as you go into commercial is just boring. After injuring one of the top stars in the company you would think Kennedy would have more to say.
Kennedy's promo really does show a glaring problem in the writing of WWE television recently. REPETITIVENESS. Whether it's a Kennedy promo, a battle royal with a heel hiding to win, Ron Simmons saying "Damn!", or the classic "face to face" behind podiums between the stars of the main event, everything has been done! And when the writing staff comes up with something new, we get "WWE Dating Game". The segment would have died without Jim Duggan dressed up like Ron Jeremy and Santino Marella playing a solid heel.Umaga has now officially turned babyface. I thought the turn was well done and unlike my partners in crime, I think the timing of the turn isn't all that bad. As we've seen in TNA, having a monster babyface like Abyss could work if you align him with a character like Sting to speak on his behalf. Though marrying Cena and Umaga as a babyface duo is only temporary, I hope a mid-card babyface can be elevated to that roll full-time. Although the fans didn't give Umaga the thundering pop that is customary when someone turns face, I think there is potential if all things are handled properly.
There is a joke among people in television that when characters get pregnant, it is a sign that the show is desperate to keep its audience. I knew something was going to happen after the news came down that last week's "Raw" was the lowest rated of the past ten years. Even after Nielsen Media reported that a "glitch" caused an incorrect rating to be released, the wheels were already in motion at WWE Headquarters to come back this week with something big.
Vince McMahon has a long lost child. Yep, the "Genetic Jackhammer" has spread his seed if you wiiiiiiiill. But who did Vince father? Is this person a baby or did this happen years ago and this illegitimate spawn is all grown up? Hell, this would be a great way to bring up Ontario indy star Shawn Spears from OVW. Make him a McMahon!Dan-e-o will be back next week as your bro was still recovering from his crazy weekend at Caribana. However you better believe Dan-e-o will have lots to say about "Raw" this week on Tha O Show.
12 comments: on "Tha Raw Report: Tha F'N Return"
Kennedy will turn out to be McMahon's other son.
I would've dug Kennedy's promo had when they came back from commercial, he was still in the ring repeating his name. Torturing the crowd for a good 3-4 minutes. But he didn't so it flopped.
Was it just me or was that the WEIRDEST Raw ever?
Really weird...I'm not even sure what to think. I'm in a state of shock at this point.
If Kennedy turned out to be Vince's other kid it'd be hilarious. Imagine him and Shane trying to one up each other for his affection. I can't wait.
I wonder if they will find Kennedy's biological mother who made the claim to be Mae Young...
That Raw wouldve been the perfect time for a 2 hour and 5 minute shit break. Vince coming back and acting babyface wouldve been more interesting. Just for the fact that he would turn heel after the fans refused to accept the new Vince. Okay. You know what? Fuck it. I cant even ramble about how bad the show was.
In the back of most's minds, I think we all expected Regal to win at the beginning of the match. After the commercial break I asking "Where's Regal?", I assumed he got tossed out.
The battle royal did give a little more exposure to Sandman. Who, by all reasoning, would be expected to be buried. The crowd popped pretty hard when they thought he won. Him as GM would've been an original, fresh idea. Hell, Maven was Raw GM for a night.
Regal's dope, but his win was so damn predictable. Which leads to, YAWN!
I gotta say I had to try really hard to not mark out when it looked like the Sandman won. Even though regal is one of my favorites, I was a little disappointed to see him win, but I did like how well they hid the fact that he was playing possum. I don't think I'd mind seeing them feud over the spot, but I doubt it will happen.
I thought Vince WAS acting babyface, talking about getting his family back together, knocking Coach down a few pegs, etc.
No mention of the cameo by Irwin R. Schyster? Very well done. And I liked Cena taking over the Cabana, for all the cheesiness, but even my wife predicted he would be facing Umaga in the main event. I still don't buy him is a babyface, though.
Hey - wouldn't it have been funny if they had Umaga win the GM spot, hand hima mic, and all of a sudden he spoke perfect, eloquent English? It worked for Maria in the Bischoff trial.
I was calling next weeks main event, before last night's main event ever started... I'm sick of this predictability... shock me dammit!
Last nights RAW...I fell asleep. So I woke up at 4:30 this morning and watched it. Damn, that extra 1:45 of sleep would've been nice, but what did I get? JOHN CENA INTERVIEWING JOHN MOTHER FUCKING CENA.
Frank, we're cool and all, but the Cena love must stop. I respect his desire, charisma, ambition and his work ETHIC, but I loathe his "mic skills," his moveset, his "overness" and his puppetness. As a serious babyface he grows stale after a minute. As a comedic face he grows stale before he pics up the mic. As a heel he aint bad, not great, but not like he is now either.
The only thing of that segment that I got excited about was when he pulled out the banana. Sadly, the banana killed the excitement. I was praying he was reaching in the pocket for a bag of planters and was going to tell 'Lito to, "choke on deez nuts."
Who didn't know Regal was going to win? That was set in stone on RAW weeks ago. I hate the hiding gimmick, but I believe it was done much better than the past ones. At least the camera didn't zoom in on him while he was "hurt" on the outside.
Another thing about Regal, his accent is cool and adds to his character, but Chris, learn how to say certain words. Cuhlito didn't bother me, the Eeeenglish often leave out letters and add to the end. But what the fuck is an UmAngah? He said it perfectly in an old interview.
Before you begin comparing that to Bookers in and out of character accent, don't! It's completely different, nothing about UmAngah adds to the character. Unless they play him off as slightly retarded.
I'm praying Kennedy is the offspring. He was initially supposed to get the rub from this angle, but now I don't know. They scrapped damn near everything. Don't be surprised if Daniel Rodimer, now Dan Rodman is the guy. I hate Dan Rodman, I dont know him and have never seen him work, but apparently from EVERY SINGLE report I've read, and move for move report I've read he sucks more than David Arquette. Sad fact, Arquette didn't want to wrestle.
You know who is high on Rodman? Stephanie, Vince and JOHN CENA. Do you know why? Cause he's 6'8" or so.
Here's to the big-men bodybuilders of wrestling with ZERO ability: GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
And that's whether or not it is Dan Rodman or what the fuck ever his name is gets the nod. It should be Kennedy, the segments with him, Shane, Stephanie, Linda, Vince and Triple H(dont think it wont happen if this is the guy) could be incredible, that and he deserves it.
The IRS cameo was cool, and especially since it wasn't overdone. DAMN! SPAM! SCRAM! and NAM! Wow, come on Ron, I hope they are paying you a shitload for that.
On the final note, to the WWE writers: GO DIE.
Apparently O Show Road Stories Alumni Sterling James Keenan did a job or two to Val Venis either last night or over the weekend, just thought I'd share that with you all. Read it in an email from a friend then found it on an online dirtsheet.
Ben Boudreau says...
If I were Vince McMahon I would be straight up pissed off at both the media and Congress. I think he has more than enough reason to be.
As far as digging up the old death angle, I think it was less a continuation of the angle and more a brief explanation as to why he's still alive in an attempt to move forward to this new illegitimate child storyline. Which I dig.
I love Regal as the GM though it is predictable. I literally thought he got thrown out during the commercial break and Sandman had won. What a push that would've been for the hardcore icon.
I'm digging a few things about this past "Raw" such as the new heelish Santino Marella and the new babyface Umaga.
I do agree, however, that "Raw" has been rather lackluster over the past few months. Even with Khali as champ, "SmackDown!" continues to be the "A Show" in my opinion.
Vince might be pissed, but the last thing he should be doing is taking shots at Congress.
They live for that shit.
Vince McMahon is Vince McMahon. Asshole, bastard, son of a bitch, redneck, brilliant, arrogant, ballsy. There are millions of words for him. Whether you like it or not, Vince taking shots at the govt is downright ballsy. He doesn't give a shit anymore, and that's respectable.
You're right PFK, they do live for that, so you know what Vince should do? Run for President. Not seriously, but like Hogan did back around 99 when he announced his candidcay.
Ben SmackDown isn't the A show anymore. ECW/TNA are tied for that. RAW is at the bottom.
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