Friday Night Fallout: Arm Wrestling Time

What up O-sters. It's good to be back, so I'm not going to waste any time, so lets get to it...it's time for "Friday Night Fallout"!

First off, just let me say this: "WE HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH AND A HALF TO SEE THE KRYSTAL-TEDDY WEDDING!" Good lord, I didn't think the E would put that much time into this retarded ass angle. Well, I guess they're doing it on the 21st of September since it's the season premier of "SmackDown!" on the CW, but DAMN! Another major negative from this whole opening show ordeal was that there were no Indian women accompanying Mushmouth and Skidmark Singh. Oh well, maybe next time Dan-e-o.


Has "SmackDown!" really gotten that bad on the booking side? Kane VS. Chris Masters, not three weeks after Kane was in a program to chase the World Championship for a while, may I ask why? As you may or may not know Court Bauer left the Double Double E after a dispute with Michael P.S. (piece o shit) Hayes. Sad thing is, not only does Donnie have some ties with Bauer, as does Robert Roode, but Bauer ain't the first cat to bounce on the E after bumping heads with the former Freebird. And apparently dude can't do dick on his own.

Okay, so Mark Henry is a monster, a Silverback, if you will. This point goes back to the booking. Something tells me that they didn't show a clip of him dominating Taker just for shits 'n' giggles. Do I smell Taker/Henry feud #2? Wait, as a matter of fact ain't that how Khali debuted? When Daivari was managing Angle and Henry, then Henry then Khali? Damn, it's all come full circle, and the sad part is, don't nobody gives a damn.

So my hillbillies Jesse and Festus are into clothing and style, but are they into wrestling by chance? Christ, they're more over than the Major Brothers, who aren't doing a damn thing now, but Jesse and Festus are only on TV for 30 seconds a week. There is definently a problem there, can anybody explain that? Let's take wagers on what their next promo will be, I'm putting $50 on dogfighting and referee gambling.

As the title denoted, the highlight of the night was the arm wrestling match. Well no, the whole Hardy/MVP thing. For some reason, both these dudes have stepped it up a notch or two. Two for Matt, one for Antonio Banks, er, MVP. Mr. 305 was pretty good with the stalling out on the arm wrestling, and I may be wrong, but was that the first time a stress ball has come into play in a wrestling ring? Anyway, those two guys made that arm wrestling "match" look legit. As a matter of fact it was more legit looking than Cena selling a broken back.

The way that Hardy won and the way MVP just couldn't believe it was much, much better than the usual flipping of the table B.S. The match that followed was pretty good too, and the ending sets up for a title switch to be major money. On the money note, I've got to disagree with Donnie. Matt Hardy could make that company money. He has in the tag team division, and like I've stated before, at any given "SmackDown!" show, you'll see lots of Hardy merch and several "Matt for Champ" signs.

I didn't think I was going to mention this, and I sort of wanted to have a positive vibe to this whole article. But after seeing the second Palumbo promo of the evening I had to wonder, did the WWE forget that Palumbo already had two or three appearances on "SmackDown!"? I mean, would it not have made more sense to hype the hell out of him before his debut? Instead they stick him on TV, have him beat Kenny Dykstra, then Jobber #543, then have JBL lay the verbal put over on him, then yank him and air his promo videos. Duh, hey retards, you dropped your helmet!

Major props to Jamie Noble. As the new Cruiserweighgent (that's Cruiserweight agent for those that don't get it), he's doing beautifully. The back gives him the finishes and he goes with it, and does he ever go with i!. Honest to God, the Cruiserweight matches are much better now, not to mention there is no longer a Gregory Helms or Chavo Guerrero to be the standard bearer for those guys.

The Noble/Hornswoggle program is incredibly entertaining. By the way, JBL could have been being funny, or making a serious point, but Khali is "over" 7 feet tall, and Hornswoggle is 4 feet tall. That's a difference of Max Mini. Who didn't love the pie to the face, or the fire extinguisher? Seriously, if you didn't tell me, and I'll put in action the process of revoking your sense of humor license.

Okay, so Kenny and Torrie have a feud? No, it's Victoria and Jimmy Wang Yang. No, that ain't right either. Oh yeah, it's Victoria VS. Torrie and Dykstra VS. Yang, so why clusterfuck the programs together like that? Seriously? I mean, I don't mind watching Victoria or Torrie at all, and I don't mind watching JWY work, but all together, and throwing in Kenny D...that's a tad too much.

Let me say this: while I love Michelle McCool and Mickie James, Cherry is pretty good herself. She's far underrated as far as the Divas go. Hell, she did what every rat, no...female in the business dreams or dreamed of. She kayfabe rode Space Mountain. Do you how many chicks 25 and up, especially in my area were going, "bitch I was there before you." To which the Naitch simply replied, "Woooo."

Apparently folks, Lenny and Squigy are much better than I originally thought. Sure, their match wasn't five stars, but to hold your own with Naitch, and pull off a good match with Batista, you're doing something. And to think, I labeled them as Jimmy Snuka Jr. and the other guy. Wow, never underestimate the power of the 1950's. Since they don't have a legit tag team opponent, what better way to put over the tag team champs than to have them face 18 World Championships?

Well guys, I kept it short and sweet, no whinings about signings, no total negativity, just plain and simple, to the point with pros and cons. I'm just messing with you Plunkett and Brown, but you boys need to listen to my boy Bobby McFerrin, and "Don't worry, be happy." Anyway, I say we all just get into a lighthearted wrestling mood and enjoy the good stuff and shit on the bad stuff. Just don't enjoy shitting on the bad stuff, and until next time, Oooooooooooo!

Quick results in case you missed it, and most of you probably did...
Kane d. Chris Masters
Mark Henry def. Jobber #657
Matt Hardy def. MVP in an arm wrestling match
Matt Hardy def. MVP via countout in a wrestling match
Jamie Noble def. Shannon Moore
JWY w/Torrie Wilson def. Kenny Dykstra w/VictOria
Ric Flair and Batista def. Deuce & Domino w/ Cherry

Share |