Tha Raw Report: Tha F'n Edition

I am helping out Dan-e-o this week for this installment of "Tha Raw Report" after my colleague informed me that his computer is acting up (FYI, "computer issues" is O-Code for - "I have a woman coming over, cover me").

So I actually had to watch this week's "Raw" with a little bit more focus than I usually do. That means, no talking on the phone, no boring match snack breaks, and definitely no channel flipping to see what's going on with the Jays game.

To my surprise, this week's "Raw" did as good of a job building up their main event for this Sunday as I have seen in years. The Great American Bash really does have a "big event" feel to it with so much importance placed on the WWE Title match.

No matter what you think of John Cena or Bobby Lashley, their final segment stare down was intriguing and was the most effective use of television in a long time.

As well, having legends such as Ric Flair and Mick Foley provide their expert analysis and predictions for the Cena/Lashley match also adds an element of reality that is often lacking on WWE television. The biographical and career retrospectives make both Cena and Lashley relate to common fans and allow the people to sink their teeth into something real. Even in wrestling fans want angles and characters based on reality and not the imaginary world of sports entertainment.

"Raw" kicked off with what I thought was an excellent angle involving King Booker and Jerry Lawler. Teasing the Triple H return and then having Booker come out was outstanding and plants the seed for a feud upon Hunter's return. However, I really didn't like Lawler getting the upper-hand and laying out one of the shows main stars. King Booker should have beaten Lawler to within an inch of his life as it would have made him a stronger heel and ready for a program with HHH.

Santino Marella's career is over. Over. Done. No matter what Nancy Grace and Marc Mero say, Vince hates small guys and no one in WWE the size Marella will ever get a fair chance. Small guys will have "opportunities" to get over, but no real chance to become stars in the promotion. The four-way for the IC title shot was decent, but what the hell was with that weak ass finish? Shelton looked like he simply rolled back and allowed Hardy to pin him. Weak. Also, Jeff Hardy VS. Umaga? Who cares?

I thought it was crazy when I heard Abyss talk this past week on TNA's "iMPACT!" after he has been silent for over four years. But having Snitsky talk is just as insane. The silent ugly monster gimmick looked like it could get over after he had been languishing in the mid-card for a couple of years. Having him talk reminds people of the guy who punted babies into stands and had a foot fetish. I would love for Snitsky to have a manager, a Jim Mitchell type to tame this beast and do all the talking for him. Dan-e-o, I'm looking at you.

Speaking of promos, much better go around this week for the product of the American Dream's seed. Cody Rhodes held his own in his pre-match promo and showed the charisma that many knew he had. Why they would have Cody get squashed in his debut when this match could have drawn at a future PPV is anyone's guess. WWE did no favors to Cody having him lose in his debut in the fashion he did. Since his father is a big player backstage, I do suspect he will eventually get a fair chance, but it's very difficult to change the fan's perception once you have already seen someone lose in that manner.

At this point of watching "Raw" I grabbed a protein shake out of the fridge, the ones sold in convenient cans. I realized after drinking it that the can had written on it: "Best Before January 2007". Getting through the last bit of "Raw" might be difficult.

No side effects as of yet although I can't believe I just saw Jim Duggan and William Regal in such a stupid skit. I really hope WWE sells a lot of "DAMN" t-shirts, because having Ron Simmons on television is starting to mean less and less as the weeks go by. However, there was nothing fruity about William Regal's ability to brawl when he interfered in the Carlito VS. Sandman match. Any wrestlers who want to know how to properly do a run-in, watch how William Regal put the fists to Sandman. Regal's ability to make his brawling look real is a trait few in the business have.

What is not entertaining on the other hand is Kennedy's entrance. It's amazing how Kennedy's entrance has not evolved at all and his gimmick has grown tired because of it. Kennedy might be the guy WWE is sending out to defend their Wellness Policy because he is so well spoken, but that gift of gab has not translated into compelling promos. However, the inverted suplex off the middle rope for a finisher was AWESOME. Now if only he could apply that same creativity to his promos.

As I said in the beginning of the report, this episode of "Raw" was a the exact blueprint of a television show that sells PPV events. Angles were simple, strong, and intense. The focus of the show was placed in the top key matches and I absolutely suspect this Sunday's show to be not only a strong one in the ring, but one that might pop a strong buy rate.

It will be interesting to see where WWE's business stands after the recent media attention, but if there is a negative turn in business starting with the The Great American Bash it will not be because of weak television.

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