Jason Sensation Shoots From The Heart

Some may say that I only talk about myself and my own experiences rather than the day to day happenings in wrestling but I look at it like this. Everyone else is talking about everything else, so I figure, hey, why not talk about Jason Sensation...nobody else is.

With that being said, here's my long awaited next column (Jason Procrastination)...

People who have heard my shoots often ask me where all my recent anger is coming from and why I'm speaking out now instead of six or seven years ago.

I think my outbursts stem from a combination of the realization that I will never again work for WWE and much more importantly, the death of my beloved mother last July.

After I lost my mother, I realized that I was too late to give her the happy ending I always dreamt of giving her. I could have done so much to help my mom and her life if my wrestling career had survived as I had planned.

My family, especially mother and father have done so much throughout my entire life to encourage and establish my fascination with wrestling and the gift I was blessed with: to impersonate wrestlers. They made sure I got to go to every Maple Leaf Gardens house show throughout the 80's and 90's.

I had every wrestling doll and all the wrestling merchandise known to man. My brother John (a.k.a. Johnny Bludclot) and I were allowed to turn our basement into a wrestling dungeon that we wrestled in every day. My sister Laura called talk shows to get me on impersonating wrestlers. My dad payed for me to go to broadcasting school and make a video demo for WWE. And my mom always use to tell me "My dream for you Jason, is that you become the next Mean Gene".

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that I owed it to my family to make a living in the WWE. It was my dream and I put all my eggs in one basket and they all had a hand and a sacrifice in helping me become Jason Sensation. When my mother died, I realized once and for all that I would never be making a decent enough WWE living to better her life. It's too late now. She's gone.

So now I've wanted to yell and scream at all those who assisted with my demise in mainstream wrestling whether it be Carl DeMarco, Michael Hayes or Kevin Kelly and everyone in between.

However, I have recently come to uthe nbearable realization now, that no matter what I want to shoot about, no matter what I want to get off my chest, no matter who I think is to blame for ruining my career in WWE, I will never be able to go back in time and make my mother's final years happy.

With that being said, instead of shooting out anger and frustration that is only hurting me in the long run, I want to share a poem I wrote for my mother three days after she passed away...

A THANK YOU FOR MY MOTHER

Thank you Mom, for carrying me for 9 months in your womb,
And thanks for the blood sweat & tears that you shed as you lay in that hospital
room.

Thank you for bringing me into this world & doing all you possibly could,
To love, protect & care for me, as a baby & throughout childhood.

Thank you for my brothers & sisters, who are all my best friends today.
And thank you for keeping my Daddy alive, when death almost took him away.

Thanks for the warmth in your cuddles & hugs & for all the "yucky kisses".
And thanks for the never ending feasts you prepared, you always made food so
delicious.

Thank you for making every birthday & Christmas an unforgettable celebration.
You were always providing for those that you loved & never stopped or had time for
vacation.

And what about the times you had hurt me? "I just can't remember" you'd say.
Now I can't remember one thing you did wrong, you made all that pain go away.

Most of all I want to say Thank You Mom, for the wonderful woman you were.
Though constantly faced with heartache & pain, you kept the faith & the will to
endure.

When you finally broke down & couldn't fight tears, you wouldn't let anyone see.
You'd dust yourself off & get back on your feet & be there to wipe my tears for me.

You possessed such a beautiful, wonderful heart filled with endless love & grace.
You had a big gorgeous smile that lit up the room & brought out the beauty in your
face.

You had a beautiful voice & sang beautiful songs, that play in my mind every day.
You're the "Funny Face", "Coal Minor's Daughter", "The Happiest Girl in the whole
U.S.A."

As a good Samaritan, you filled your life with constant & endless good deeds.
Everyone knew, they could all come to you to provide for whatever they need.

You gave & you gave & you gave & you gave till there was nothing else left to give.
And when it was time for us to give back to you, regretfully, not many did.

You had the most enchanting heart full of good, you loved everyone in your life.
And spread your love out equally as Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Wife.

Now that your gone, it's so hard to go on, knowing you won't be here anymore.
To wipe my tears, end my fears & pick me up when I fall on the floor.

But if I open my heart I can feel you with me & you're no longer in any pain.
You're happy & free along with Old Granny, Uncle Mike & Auntie Elaine.

Your spirit & soul are with God up in Heaven, though your body lay to rest in a
coffin.
We love you so much & will miss you always, but Cathy, You Won't Be Forgotten.

The legacy of goodness that you left behind, will live on & never cease.
Through generations of your descendants, while you lay to rest in peace...

Love Jason

In Memory of Catherine Russell Travers 1945 - 2006

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