Well, it's Thursday morning (Editor's note: Sorry for the delay), Orton's a rock star, my mark-ass friends are calling me and telling me that this week's "Raw" was the best they had watched in years, and Snitsky's hygiene is so repulsive...(((How repulsive is it?)))
Snitsky's hygiene is so repulsive, even the British were openly offended.
That's right folks.
I'm not selling CD's here, I'm not selling FU's or arm wrenches. I'm giving you...this week's TNE Throwaway.
All I ask in return is that you skim through it, leave a comment, and...please tell me how much you loved that nasty POUNCE Marcus Cor Von put on the piece of garbage I call Sabu.
I don't know what it is. Do I hate Sabu that much? Yes...an emphatic yes! Wasn't he wearing a "neckbrace"? And did he sell anything related to that "neck injury"? Hell no! Dude, whats up with all the springboard moves? I've seen your three mat moves...let's face it, Mick Foley could out wrestle you. But, you're a hell of a spot-monkey and don't let anybody try and take that from you.
I figured I'd start this week's column with the main event, ECW Originals VS. The New Breed in a 8 man elimination match, then I'll spend the rest of the article "shitting" on the rest of the show.The majority of the show was based around this one match, and rightfully so. This feud has been going on since the turn of the year. There's been tons of O's along the way, and most importantly, the smark-friendly CM Punk has became the centerpoint of this entire angle.
I didn't catch last week's show, but from what I read and watched videos of were confirmation that there was going to be immediate turmoil in the New Breed. This week, Punk and Burke were conflicting over who's in control...who calls the shots...who exactly is "Alpha Male"...I think you see where I'm going with this.
I think I liked CM Punk last night; his banter with the guys seemed natural and that kick to the back of Elijah Burke's head was sick, along with the GTS...I still won't be sure about his existence with the E's style of wrestling, until I see him in a high-profile one on one match.
As far as the match in itself, sick-bumps-O-plenty...
-Elijah Burke running into Tommy Dreamer's fist and just buckling at the knees. So stiff.
-Sandman with the missed "Rolling Rock" (a very delayed "Swanton Bomb").
-Dreamer (I think) took that DDT at a 45 degree angled face-plant and the, slightly early, Elijah Express.
But I have to ask a favor...If anyone can find me a clip of that and could e-mail it, that'd be greatly appreciated: jbrown27103@gmail.com
For those that didn't watch it...it came down to Burke and RVD...Punk kicks Burke in the back of the head, gives him the GTS and befuddles my brain. Is he reallyafter "control" of the New Breed? Is he teaming with the ECW Originals? A poll on ECW's website offers the choice of "Defect to either 'Raw' or "SmackDown!'"; in reference to what the fans think CM Punk's next move should be.On to the rest of the show...
Oh, here's a surprise...Lashley and Umaga...What's that? Vince McMahon is out there looking like a moron...Riveting.
This program ran its course at WrestleMania 23, why did it have to continue? Umaga is OK...Lashley is eh...Put'em together and you get a mediocre product, but more mind-numbing than listening to Quentin Tarantino talk about himself.
I'm tired of seeing it, and writing about it. Nothing new has came of this and the outcome is already phoned in. If something good comes of this program, I'll buy a Dan-e-o CD. Hell, I'll buy the entire catalog. I'm just ribbin' ya Dan-e-o.
And what would an episode of Tuesday Night Extreme be without a "Balls Squash", courtesy of the grossest dude on TV...Snitsky. I hate it. Balls can't even job, why is he flopping backwards from a kick to the side of the head? Lame.
All in all, Tuesday Night Extreme (ECW) is what it has been...the only appeal to the show comes from the bumps and the spots...But, if that's what they're going for, they've nailed it.
12 comments: on "Tha TNE Throwaway"
Hate to say it, but the original ECW was almost entirely a spot-fest too.
Here's what I like about TNE. They've only got an hour to work with every week, but they're expected to contribute very little to the monthly pay-per-views.
Therefore, they can do things like have one feud be the focal point of the show, and be able to correctly draw it out. Just like in the old days (shut up, Donnie) of the E, when they could draw feuds out for well over a year, TNE has that freedom more than any other brand of pro wrestling.
That reason is why December To Dismember sucked so bad. With only an hour to work with, they could only build and promote so many matches, so they had to use already over talent from other shows to build interest, and throw in some random matches as well.
Balls Mahoney, before becoming a wrestler, used to work in the shoe department of a big and tall outdoors store. He got fired though, because he didn't know how to sell a big boot (thanks, Mick). Nice Snitsky rib, by the way. For entertainment purposes, I hereby declare a "Snitksy is so (insert adjective here) that..." contest.
Snitsky is so ugly...
(((How ugly is he?)))
He's so ugly that when he walks into Haunted Houses, they give him a job application.
TNE was good as always, and Sabu takes a Pounce like nobodies business. Trust, I never thought the day would come when I defended Sabu, but his character is a no-sell. Remember the old ECW, dude taped body parts back on to keep going. There wasn't/isn't a more hardcore guy.
ECW was as I've said excellent last night, it included everything you need in a show, plus we got to get alot of focus put on what is making ECW the #2 show right now.
How bout the bump Estrada took?
I have the show taped, but don't know how I could send it to you. But yeah Dreamer took a DDT that was insane. It wasn't as spotty as the old ECW, but I'll give you that there were plenty of O-rific spots last night.
anyone that taped up his fuckin arm because it was torn from barbwire has my respect forever, dont rag on sabu
Tape and narcotics were the cure-all in the original ECW.
The old ECW was a different monster, whatever the cureall was, it worked. Sabu also worked Taz with his jaw taped to his head, it looked funny, but you knew he was hurt.
Dont get me wrong... Sabu is a HARDCORE MF'er... but he's not much of a WRESTLER... his barbed wire match with Abyss (about a year back) was SICK... and i recall one he had with Raven that was just as good... (those are just recent matches that i popped for)
he will go down as one the greatest if not the greatest "Hardcore Wrestling" legends ever... but that match tuesday night was booked as just a 4 v 4 elimination match... no where in it were there any hardcore stipulations... but everybody's gotta get their shit in
Brian: The original ECW was a much better Spot-fest than TNE
But there was great wrestling amidst the programs too... not a lot... but it was there
You gotta remember that the origanal ECW had pure wrestling matches too. Saturn, Benoit, Jericho, and Malenko all came from ECW. I do love the crazy spots they have though, that's why I daily watch my ECW "Bloodiest Matches" DVD.
oh, trust I remember the greats that came through... but remember alot of those guys done just that... pass through... there were still times when the ECW roster wasn't really weak, but they lacked in the technical department at times
I agree. Alot of the guys worked for a year and hit WCW. I can't really think off the top of my head of too many long term workers they had who possesed great technical skills.
Completely unrelated to TNE but I just ran across this article on my "dirt provider" page pwmania.com
"Jason Sensation, who had a short-lived gig in WWE in 1998 doing vocal impersonations of the wrestlers, is doing a series of interviews running down the company. On 'The O Show', they claim he "plans to discuss on future audio commentaries times he had sexually assaulted by agents in WWF." "
just thought I would pass it along
Major O show pub, hell yeah. Anyway, the ECW DVD's are all good, they have no choice to be. The Abyss vs. Sabu barbed wire brawl from TNA was off the fuckin charts. I love how Sabu and Abyss teased hitting the ropes only to realize that it was barbed wire and stopped. But no, Sabu is no great WRESTLER, which is why I give him shit, but like I said I never thought I'd defend him, but he has improved to a degree, because no matter how tough he is, the hardcore spots are a little harder for him to do. He can put on a match with few hardcore spots if any and still be as passible as Sandman.
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