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4.23.2007

Tha Hitman Sharpshoots

Recently, I wrote an article about Orton's newest backstage heatseeking with WWE. It was an unbiased article, and as such, featured none of my own thoughts or reactions to the incident. I would like to do that now.

Also, some of you may remember way back in the day, one of my first ever comments was a Jim Rome-like shoot of Scott Steiner. I am bringing back that format in a new column that, in addition to my TNA review, I will be writing weekly. So, with that in mind, here is the first edition of "Tha Hitman Sharpshoots". And just to give it that Jim Rome banter-ish feel, I'm going to talk about a few other things as well.

An Or-ton of trouble

Now, I'm all one for partying every now and then. God knows that I can't preach to anybody about temperance without being an out-and-out hypocrite. However, those liquor commercials always make sure to mention "please drink responsibly" for a reason. Because when you don't, you end up passed out in a cheap hotel somewhere in Europe with a room that had more monetary damages than the original cost of constructing the room itself.

I would think that after so many warnings about his conduct backstage, that Orton would finally get his act together. After all, the last time he got in trouble, he jobbed to Hulk Hogan at SummerSlam and then got buried for months on end before finally being used as what could best be described as a "throw-in" to Edge's hate-on for Degeneration X.

He managed to keep his nose clean for a little while,and even got himself a nice little slot in Money In The Bank at WrestleMania 23. Follow that up with being tossed into the main event at Backlash, where he very likely may have gone over, and it seems like everything is back on track.

I'm not sure what makes this more idiotic - the fact that he did this to begin with, or the fact that he did it shortly before a main event match, where he could have very easily and believably gone over. Is it just me, or does it seem like every time he's about to get the gold put around his waist, he decides to go and screw it up? If I didn't know better, I'd say he doesn't want to be the champion and is going to whatever length necessary to make sure he doesn't get the gold around his waist again.

Quite frankly, as propesterous as that may sound, and as farfetched of a conspiracy theory it may be, Orton certainly hasn't done anything to disprove me. And if this is true, Randy needs to take the advice of the E's slogan right around the time of his debut and "Get The 'F' Out."

Gimmicks Galore

So just days after TNA produced a stellar Lockdown where the only matches fans shit on were the gimmick matches, we have all learned that apparently TNA doesn't listen to their fans. And thanks to that, we now have a Texas Deathmatch to look forward to at the upcoming Sacrifice pay-per-view.

This tells me one of two things. Either Vince Russo and Dutch Mantel have both suffered severe brain aneurysms sometime several months back, or TNA has zero faith that any of their midcard talent can perform and make a match hot on their own.

I'm hoping it's the first one, since the latter is so ridiculous that I almost want to buy a TNA shirt just so I can burn it in effigy. Then again, me supporting them by buying their merchandise may just make them think that I agree with what they're trying to give me as a product.

You want to give me a gimmick match? How about a match where you just let the two guys wrestle and show their stuff? I've even got a great idea for a name for the gimmick match - a "Wrestling Match". Wow. I can't believe it's come to the point where a promotion puts out more stip matches than actual matches.

WW-Ego

Earlier this week, WWE cut ties with one of their developmental partners, Deep South Wrestling. Great. Just what we need - another company for the E to blacklist. Following the folding of WCW and ECW, tell me how many superstars that worked for those promotions during their dying days held the championship in the E. I can only think of three - Booker T, Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio, who I shouldn't even count considering Eddie Guerrero's death was the reason he was given the belt. And those two promotions had superstars with tons of mainstream TV exposure.

Now think about guys like TJ Wilson, Colt Cabana and Ace Steel. Most marks don't even know who they are, and their involvement in DSW may be what keeps them off of TV permanently. Vince is an egomaniac before a businessman, and I highly doubt he cares about burying talent if it means he can throw his weight around and further establish himself as the biggest, baddest thing in wrestling. Yeah, way to go Vince. You'd screw over monstrously talented guys just so you can massage your ego. You're really a sight to behold. No wonder so many people hold you in low regard.

J.C. - F.U.!

Last Monday night on "Raw", we were treated to one of the most entertaining sights in quite some time. Who didn't enjoy watching Michaels drop on the deck and flop like a fish when Mr. No-Sell himself, John Cena, delivered an F-U to him? To me, it's a much-needed breath of fresh air for a wrestler to finally make it clear to the people backstage that Cena should not be in the spot he's in. And if anybody's going to do it, Shawn Michaels is the guy. Shawn Michaels is a man who can sell like nobody's business, but also has a track record of overselling in order to disrespect his opponent.

Add the fact that Michaels is one of the few people in the back that could get away with it. There's no way Michaels would lose his job, or face any repurcussions at all, for that matter, over showing up "The Champ" like that.

Michaels is financially set for life, and if he ever were to part ways with the E, he could wrestle for indies, he could wrestle for TNA, he could even retire if he wanted to. On the flip side, while Michaels doesn't need WWE, WWE needs Michaels. Whenever he's asked to do something, he does it. Montreal hated him for 10 years for something he did simply because he was told to do it. He was told to put Cena over at WrestleMania 23, and he did it.

Now, he's seemingly being asked to job to Cena again. And he's inevitably going to do it. But guess what, folks? He's not going to put him over. Instead, he's going to oversell and make Cena look like the chump that he is. Michaels is a smart man for doing so - Cena shouldn't be a top face, nor should the E be trying to push him as the number one guy in wrestling. Thank God that at least someone from "Raw" is still capable of logical reasoning.

That's it for this week, O-sters. Be sure to check out this article, it will be appearing weekly. Also, if anyone has anything they want me to rant about, hit me up at my email address, listed in the side bar. I am out.


11 comments: on "Tha Hitman Sharpshoots"

Anonymous said...

So this Hitman sharpshoots. I think the irony in this article is too awesome to miss. You are the hitman brian, and you are sharpshooting, and you talk about Montreal hating Michaels for 10 years for putting a sharpshooter on THE HITMAN. Fuckin awesome. Fuckin awesome. Yes I know I said it twice. Because it needed.

Good article, but I have one question, when can I find one of these wrestling matches? I'd love to see that kind of gimmick. It's a very underused underrated gimmick. I think it might actually sell, and grab peoples interest.

Anonymous said...

Love the article dude. Good voice, goods points, you're definitly the Jim Rome of wrestling. I liked it alot.

Anonymous said...

Are you honestly trying to state that Michaels has always done what was asked of him? Really? He never dropped a title because he didn't want to do a job? He didn't give up the title just before Wrestlemania 13 because he didn't want to job to Bret? While it's true Michaels seems to have turned a new leaf and does the job whenever he is asked to now ... since he came back, he was hardly known for being a company man before Wrestlemania 14. Are you honestly stating that he simply did what he was asked to do in Montreal? He was not only in on the plan, he was part of the team that came up with it.

I will be the first to admit that Michaels is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. I will be the first to admit that he has been nothing but a boon to the WWE since he came back. I will be the first to admit that he seems to be willing to job to anyone that he is asked to ... nowadays. But don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining by stating that he did that when he was younger, or that he was completely innocent at Montreal.

Anonymous said...

I won't speak for Brian, but dude, Michaels does what is asked of him. He may cause a stink about it, or show his derrier, but Shawn Michaels does business, the facts are the facts. So many people have taken credit for Montreal you don't know who came up with it. I dont, Brian doesn't, Dan-e-o doesnt and Donnie doesnt. Only Kanyon knows it was a work. Nobody knows except Shawn, Russo, Mcmahon and Hart maybe. Thats it. If I were to piss on your head, I'd say, dude check it out, I'm pissing on your head. I wouldn't say it's raining, and I don't think Brian would either. Politics are politics, but Michaels does business.

Anonymous said...

I guess that makes sense ... Shawn Michaels gives up the IC title instead of jobbing to Dean Douglas, he gives up the Heavyweight belt instead of jobbing to Bret Hart ... I guess the only times he did the job wasn't to either a former partner, a member of the Kliq or someone who was going to drop the belt back to him within two or three months. Yep Shawn Michaels was a great company man.

Nowadays, he is a company man ... but he sure wasn't before his injury.

And didn't Michaels state for himself in his book that he helped plan the screw job?

Anonymous said...

yawn mackles says "pwned!".

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't piss on anybody's head, period.

Schmoooooo, you make a very good point. However, I never made the claim that he's done it his whole career; I know better than that. But over the past few years, he has gained a strong reputation for punking out his opponents by overselling if he feels like they deserve it. That was the period I was referring to.

As far as the Montreal incident, we may never know who was really behind it, but WWE books are so damn kayfabed that I wouldn't believe anything said in them.

Anonymous said...

About the Montreal incident Russo claimed it was his idea, Michaels claimed it was his(I've read his book twice), Mcmahon claimed it was his idea so Shawn "didn't" take the heat, and like Plunkett said WWE books are so kayfabed it isn't funny, take Hulk Hogan's book for example, it was the best fiction book I've ever read. Michaels maybe isn't the best company man of all time, but HE DID BUSINESS. Whether or not it was the consensus opinion of who they wanted him to, he still did business. Honestly would you job to Dean Douglas? Would you want that permanent stain on your record? Douglas couldn't carry Michaels balls. Douglas was trash and nobody liked him. Not to mention that Michaels was truly beaten to hell the night before. Kayfabe or not, it is supposedly true. The only time Shane Douglas was over was when he threw down the NWA belt, and that lasted what a year? I won't turn this into Douglas bashing time, but I think that one is justified like it or not. Who knows we disagree, I think Michaels does good business, and yes moreso now than then, but Michaels can only be as guilty as all those around him.

Anonymous said...

Very good article Hitman, like the name Hitman by the way since he is one of my all- time favroite wrestlers and i use it was my ring name on video games.
I think maybe deep down Orton is scared to be champ cause maybe is afraid he is going to let the company down or that he will only have the belt for a month or two like last time. Only Orton really knows.

Downtown said...

Orton has been the champ... though short-lived... bu ti know you already know that

Orton's shenanigans are just part of what I like about the guy...

I still think they will shoot with all of this... what do they care about the guy partying? as long as he does his job and pays the damages... it doesnt matter... their wrestlers, not congressmen, or radio talkshow hosts

with all this partying, look for Orton to be a part of the new Horsemen

Anonymous said...

I don't mind Orton living a rock n' roll life styles as long was he isn't high or drunk while working in the ring and he puts on a good show.