Royal Fumble

Damn, did WWE ever drop the ball last night. You know, year after year, us wrestling fans mark out for the Royal Rumble event.

Same way we mark out for WrestleMania. Every year. No matter how bad the event may have been the previous year. Why? Because SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY WWE manages to keep us as fans.

After watching Royal Rumble last night, it really got me wondering why. I've been a wrestling fan for what feels like my entire life...and in that time, I've had MANY friends fall off the wrestling map. My own brother, who I grew up wrestling with - who by the way, was still willing to shell out $200 for front row seats to Unforgiven this past September - does not watch wrestling regularly anymore.

It seems some people get it and some people don't. And more often than not, these days, I have to ask...which one am I?

Basing my answer on last night's pay-per-view, perhaps I don't get it. I still watch wrestling. I still love it. I still think Royal Rumble is a great pay-per-view. And chances are, this time next year, I will be watching the event again while people like my brother will be doing better things with their time. But why?

Royal Rumble SUCKED last night! I honestly hate having to post negative articles on Tha O Show...but the lameness of last night's event cannot be ignored.

Where do any of the participants from the MNM/Hardys match go from here? The Hardys win again!? Mercury gets no revenge...and therefore no forseeable inkling of a push or angle to elevate his character in anyway. Nitro's quest to perhaps regain the IC strap looks dimmer. The Hardys seem to be an indestructible tag-team...except they're not really a tag-team on the same show so...they'll go on to do what? Same as they did before.

Have Matt toil in "SmackDown!" mid-card status and have Jeff continue to NOT defend his Intercontinental Championship on a regular basis. Forget that Tha O Show went 0 for 4 in predicting the outcome of this match...the finish just didn't make sense. And quite honestly, for an MNM/Hardys battle, the bout was mediocre at best.

To even discuss the so-called ECW Championship Match would be a waste of the next few lines of text you'll be reading. My apologies, in advance, to your eyes.

First off, as Big Daddy Donnie commented - there should have been a mention of once-ECW champ Bam Bam Bigelow...there wasn't. Come to think of it, has WWE even acknowledged his passing on TV yet?

Either way, a countout? And on a PPV?! Test walks away from the ring...so that Bobby Lashley can retain the ECW World Title...via a countout. Seriously, the booker of this match deserves a stiff chair shot. There aren't even supposed to be countouts in ECW! Let alone, lame ass non-extreme muscleheads who can barely put on a half-intriguing contest vying for this belt. Needless to say, this match was a shame and nowhere near worthy of representing Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Now, I knew Batista was going to hold on to the World Championship. I just knew it. Sorry Ben Boudreau, Big Daddy and I REALLY wanted a Kennedy win...but WWE creative hates us. You should have known better.

Kennedy put on a wrestling clinic in my opinion. Excellent moves, especially the reverse figure-four leg lock submission. It wasn't just his moves but his ring psychology was impressive as well. Pin-pointing a spot on Batista - in this case, working on the knee - is a perfect way to bring down a big man and show your technical prowess as well. Kennedy is definitely championship material. In the ring and on the mic - and I think that goes without saying.

But in John Cena-like fashion, the champion over on "SmackDown!" also can pull out a win by executing nothing more than his finisher. I hope Kennedy's push is not done and that he is still involved in the main event at WrestleMania like I predicted. But for a somewhat decent match, this finish also stunk.

Now, here we go. John Cena VS. Umaga. Do we even need to discuss it? I'm sure you O-sters can picture the heavy extended sigh I'm emitting as I write these lines. I knew from the opening bell that Cena would win this match. It was inevitable. I'm not sure how it makes sense to have all champions going into WrestleMania as babyfaces...but by the end of this match, it was more than clear that Royal Rumble was really Babyface Night in San Antonio.

At least the finish was better than the damn roll-up at New Year's Resolution. I suppose if there's anyway to keep Umaga down for a count of ten, it's to choke him out with the ring ropes. Umaga, at least, threw some O's our way including his splash through an announce table. And, of course, true to his nature, John Cena weaved in and out of selling his rib injuries.

What was the deal with Umaga jumping off of the second rope to crush Cena's ribs...twice...only to get stiffed on the third attempt (which Big Daddy accurately called before it happened)...to have Cena jump up like nothing happened, spring off two sets of ropes and hit the Samoan with a running shoulder-block?? Wow, do those ribs heal quickly! Watching Cena is truly painful.

Now I'm an Undertaker mark. Always have been. I predicted he would win the Rumble...nothing special on my part or anything...and he did. Great...Taker is back in the main event at Mania. I'm personally down with that. Big Daddy wanted HBK in there...tough titties bro.

Michaels really is awesome though. It was good to see HBK and Taker actually have a match when it was down to the two of them. Definition of a pro: match is done, Michaels has been tossed from the ring...he sits there and sells how upset he is on missing his chance to headline at WrestleMania. Great job.

Anyway, here's my problem. With the way things have been going lately...I'm pretty nervous about the potential outcome of WrestleMania 23. There have been countless times that O-sters and wrestling fans alike have made the claim that they will 'never' watch WWE or wrestling altogether again if such and such thing were to occur. 9 times out 9 - that's bullshit.

Here's something that would actually make me stick to such a statement...should I ever make it. If Batista stops The Undertaker's winning streak at WrestleMania this year...it will severely tarnish my love for wrestling forever. I mean it. I doubt I'll stop watching...I just know I won't enjoy it as much. Taker deserves not only another title run before retirement...but Batista deserves ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Let alone destroying a well-deserved legacy developed by a legend.

Batista is brutal. Period. Nothing proved this more than his pathetic attempt at commentary on "SmackDown!" the week before last. He is un-entertaining to the max. He is a sloppy worker and so unworthy of being a World Champion, it isn't funny. I cannot make it any more clear than this - if Batista defeats The Undertaker (or God forbid John Cena defeats The Undertaker!!) at WrestleMania 23, it will be the biggest kick to the balls to true wrestling fanatics (smarks or not) by WWE ever!

Donnie seemed to notice "RIP 14-0" written on Undertaker's gloves last night. Does this mean the streak is going to end? Would WWE actually make something that obvious to its viewers? Are we looking too far into this already? Are we about to completely shut down Tha O Show and swear off wrestling forever???

God, I hope not.

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