Crappy New Year!

New Year. Same old shit. What was I thinking actually predicting that John Cena would lose his title last night at New Year's Revolution? In truth, it was more of a hope than a prediction (it always is)...but damn did this pay-per-view ever end horribly!

In fairness, it was a pretty well-performed card. But what else would you expect when John F'n Cena is in the main event? Seriously, I would love it if anyone...ANYONE can explain to me how the roll-up ending to his title match with Umaga was a good finish!

A roll-up? A friggin' ROLL-UP?!

You mean to tell me that after months and months of compelling fans to believe that Umaga is an undefeated, unstoppable monster - who can send Kane off to "SmackDown!" and can squash Ric Flair on PPV without retribution (something Rated RKO couldn't get away with) - that he can be pinned by a simple lame-ass roll-up?

A kick to the stomach...and then a roll-up??? Has the point not yet been made clear people? John Cena is living, breathing, walking, talking wrestling garbage! In truth, I blame the writers as much as I do Cena for such a pitiful excuse for a main event title match.

I knew something was wrong when Umaga was dominating the match for so long. I knew, that in classic John Cena-fashion, he would pull out a bullshit out-of-nowhere victory...probably with his signature F.U. In this case, I would have actually preferred that! The roll-up finish was not only the most anti-climatic way to end a pay-per-view ever but also does NOTHING for both competitors.

For Cena - and let's talk 'character' here - it shows that he can't legitimately defeat Umaga. As well, the cheap roll-up pin was so heel-like, it didn't make any sense booking-wise. How did this finish help John Cena to maintain his mighty babyface overcome-the-odds status? I would imagine that even Cena fans would have to think that the match had a cheap-ass finish.

For Umaga - it destroys his undefeated streak in the lamest of ways. I suppose a simple roll-up is all that was necessary to pin the Samoan Bulldozer. Silly wrestlers...all this time they were actually trying to use wrestling ability to beat the man...what were they thinking?

The so-called main event was truly a disappointing end to an otherwise solid pay-per-view. As expected, Jeff Hardy and Johnny Nitro put on a hell of a match. I was shocked to see that it opened the card! How often does a Steel Cage Match BEGIN an event?

Either way, kudos to the two for coming up with some inventive never-seen-before spots. Nitro's off-the-top-of-the-cage Sunset Flip into a Power Bomb was beyond sick! A double "O" in my opinion. Anything that gets an "O" during its replay should be referred to as such.

Amazing finish as well. Very original idea to have Johnny Nitro attempt to push the cage door shut with his feet by hanging on the outside of the cage - only to have Jeff Hardy kick it open to send Nitro plummetting crotch first into the top of the door! Probably the match of the night.

The DX/Rated RKO match wasn't short of O's either. It looked clusterfuckish at certain points - especially when Randy Orton entered the ring to give a chair shot and then inexplicably retreated without delivering a blow.

And poor Triple H. After delivering a spinebuster, his right knee gave out seemingly tearing the very quadricep that was repaired five years ago! It also seemed that the finish was changed as a result. In what appeared to be a "no contest" decision - even though HBK did punch out the referee - the end of the match left me with a "what the?" type feeling.

Can't complain though. The post-match antics were insanely O-riffic. Trust Shawn Michaels to deliver the O of the night in the form of a flying elbow off the top rope to a bloodied Randy Orton on - what else? - the Spanish announce table.

The Tag Team Turmoil Match was a nice surprise. First, it helped remind the audience that contrary to what the DX/Rated RKO feud has communicated, the World Tag Team titles are still worth fighting for. Second, the match helped showcase some true tag-team talent...mainly in the form of Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin and Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch.

The World's Greatest Tag Team should have won though. What better way to prove they deserve their name than to go through four other teams (and since when is "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Super Crazy a tag-team?) to win a match? They were also the most talented team in the match...and God knows Haas and Benjamin could use something resembling a push!

Cryme Tyme winning a shot at the tag titles may be a little premature. They're funny and all...but honestly...not so hot in the ring. Is it just me or does JTG seem to know how to do nothing but get his ass kicked? Shad ALWAYS has to make the save, and the eventual pin. Sure, JTG lends some needless help with their finisher (which JR hasn't seemed to properly name yet - calling it a 'tandem neckbreaker' or something along those lines) but they don't seem title worthy just yet.

And what was up with Chris Masters defeating Carlito? Where oh where has Carlito's push gone? And what was up with having this match go second last on the card?

Victoria NOT winning the Women's title was also a surprise. But perhaps, even more surprising was having all of the "Raw" Divas (that's about five in total) become involved in this match. And I'm all for it. Not for the regular "it never hurts to see some titties" excuse I might usually throw out there - but because the angle makes sense.

Firstly, it's nice to see the female contingent of WWE actually have an angle to speak of at all. But second, to involve each lady that was on Victoria's hitlist in the decision is smart writing. Now a 'chase' for the title can still exist and a reasonable feud between the ladies can continue. It'll be interesting to see how WWE's new Divas play a role in it all.

I also like Kenny going over on Flair. Although I predicted otherwise, I believe this decision too makes sense. As Kenny said himself, he's 37 years Ric Flair's junior! AND as Jim Ross commented, four of Flair's 16 World Title reigns came before Kenny was even born!

Shouldn't Kenny be able to beat The Nature Boy three times in a row? It was a well-performed match (even though Kenny's Boston Crab was the worst I've ever seen) that won't take any lustre off of Flair's storied career. It will, however, helped propel Kenny's career just as the match should have.

Lastly, my guess is that Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donell impersonators will square off in a WWE ring tonight on "Raw". At least it'll be better than a John Cena match.

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