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11.27.2006

Sour Survivor Series

After a sweet set-up for Survivor Series on last week's edition of "Raw", last night's pay-per-view left a sour taste in my mouth. It may as well have been called Babyface Night In Philly because every single babyface on the card (except for The Undertaker) went over.

Not that having babyfaces win is all that bad - hell, we all know that is what MOST fans want - but the reasons for their wins and even how they won at Survivor Series is questionable, to say the least.

For the life of me, I can't understand the treatment of the talented young stars that are the Spirit Squad. They have, for too long, been nothing more than glorified jobbers. Ric Flair is a legend, and his accolades are known by all...but did he really need to be the sole survivor of his match? What is it going to take to get the Spirit Squad over?

Even when they were "tag-team champions" they didn't accumulate many decisive or push-enhancing victories. And I certainly hope that an accidental push out of the ring - as Johnny did to Kenny via Flair last night - is not what is going to lead to their break-up. I hope WWE creative gets more...well...creative with these guys soon.

Now any match with Chris Benoit in it is bound to be a good one. While not spectacular, I don't think his bout with Chavo Guerrero was all that bad. My problem with this match however was the logic behind the booking. It was a United States Championship match that wasn't about the United States Championship. Especially after JBL once put the strap over as the "most pretigious title" in wrestling, it's sad to see its importance diminish in light of Benoit's 'meddling in the Guerrero's business'.

Seriously, what business is it of Benoit's when it comes to the estate of Eddie Guerrero? Shouldn't Eddie's widow be handling it anyway? Furthermore, why is it that a year after Eddie's death are we still being subjected to Latino Heat-ladden storylines? And while I'm on the tip of dedicating an entire paragraph to questions...how come Chavo still can't perform a half-decent frog splash?

Here's the definition of a bad pay-per-view: The highlight of the night was NOT a match. Who would have thought that Lita's retirement match would simply be a platform to put over everyone's favourite new tag-team (or so it seems) Cryme Tyme? I have to admit...once again...that they were hilarious. A "Ho Sale"? Ha!

It still amazes me that fans at ringside (they couldn't have all been plants could they?) were legitimately pulling cash out of their pockets for such ridiculous items as Monistat (apparently for Lita's yeast infection!), a dildo and some panties. And let's not forget the cardboard box Cryme Tyme used to carry all of this stuff in...I think they copped about 25 bones for it! Funny stuff.

Lita, however, DOES deserve the respect she argued her character lacked as she truly is among the best in the history of WWE's female talent. I wish her success in her future endeavours now that she's retired. (I sound like WWE.com eh?).

I don't know what was a bigger surprise...how early in the PPV the DX match took place...or how lame the match was. How's this for completely burying the "brand" known as ECW?: Before the bell even rings to begin the match, Shawn Michaels super-kicks Mike Knox to knock him out for the first elimination. After which HBK jumps up to ask his team - almost apologetically - "Who was that?" and "Was he part of the match?".

I have to admit, I laughed - but felt very guilty doing it. How is the ECW brand going to survive (pun intended, I guess) with its superstars being given this type of treatment? Thank God the Philly crowd was so hot for CM Punk...you actually think Triple H planned on having him ask the fans "Are you ready?". I think not.

I'm a huge Undertaker mark. I have been since his debut at Survivor Series sixteen years ago. But I have no problem with him losing a match when appropriate. Last night's First Blood Match with Mr. Kennedy would have been one of those appropriate times to put over some young talent - something that Taker has proven he can do from time to time. But it didn't happen.

Sure, Kennedy ended up winning the match. But, to quote Big Daddy Donnie, "it was a bullshit win". MVP 'accidentally' nailing The Undertaker with a chair to make him bleed...in addition to earlier hiding Kennedy's internal bleeding...doesn't do much to push Kennedy as a legitimate contender. Firstly, it actually set up a feud between MVP and Kennedy. For what, I don't know. Who's the face and who's the heel here? Secondly, it wouldn't have 'hurt' The Undertaker's status to lose a match by bleeding first. Again, strange booking for an otherwise intriguing match.

Now, I'm not going to jump all over Cena here (although someone should - with a pair of spiked cleats on) but his match was an example of what's wrong with traditional Survivor Series matches. I'll be the first to admit I marked out when I discovered that these elmination bouts would be part of the event. They should be. But again, shotty booking only cheesify...yes cheesify the gimmick that is the Survivor Series elimination match.

I'm a firm believer that no one should be pinned in the match in a fashion that would not a occur in a regular one-on-one contest. No one should lose within two minutes of entering the ring or at least without having a finishing move being performed on him. This match just felt rushed...as did the earlier elimination matches. (I mean seriously...what's with Dusty Rhodes scoring a pinfall after an elbow drop?).

Within seconds, three or four guys would get rolled up or dropped for the 1-2-3 making them all look pathetic. Picture Sabu being defeated that easily in a one fall bout. (Oh yeah, it happened last week on "Raw" - word on the street is he's got major heat in the locker room and with the company...we'll see how this pans out).

And then, of course, the babyface winning parade continued with a Cena and Lashley victory. Man, the way they're pushing Big Bobby, should we expect him to be the next ECW champion? Eeesh!

Speaking of new champions, do I even have to explain my disappointment with last night's results? Donnie and I knew going into Survivor Series that the table had been set for Batista to win back the World Heavyweight Championship. The PPV took place in the arena he relinquished the title in. Plus, he had signed a 'decree' stating that this would be his last shot at Booker's gold.

And for some odd, unexplainable reason, fans cheer for him! I don't get it. Nothing he does is entertaining. He can't cut a promo to save his life. He doesn't have a single impressive in-ring move. I mean, even his Sit Down Power Bomb looks weak.

O, the "SmackDown!" Kingdom will never be the same. I just hope I haven't witnessed Booker's last title run. I, for one, am still a loyal subject.

I just hope I won't be subject to another event with as many puzzling finishes and occurances as this year's Survivor Series for a long time.


19 comments: on "Sour Survivor Series"

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for next year's Survivor Series. Montreal. You'll be all over that one.

Big Daddy Donnie said...

Hey Jerry Lawler...
KNOW YOUR DAMN PRODUCT....

Jerry repeatedly stated that he was pretty sure that Team D-Xtreme was the first in Survivor Series history to "pitch a shut out" and win without losing a single team member.

Off the top of my head I said - Bullshit. 'The Visionaries" in 1990! HELL, 1990! The second most famous Survivor Series EVER! The team of The Warlord, Power & Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) and team captain Rick Martel destroyed a team loaded with hall of famers: Shawn Michaels, Jake Roberts, Jimmy Snuka and Marty Janetty.

What's inexusible to me is, WWE announcers get the finish of each match before hand... so WHY THE HELL couldn't SOMEONE do their homework?

You're just as bad J.R. with your three dozen fuck ups on the mic last night...

J.R. has gotten very very sloppy.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how bad they killed Mike Knox. Sure, he's shit and all but as Simmons would say DAMMMN

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how bad SS was. I could barely keep awake for the title match. And then for Batista to win it. I thought HBK's in ring skit was pretty funny. The matches were rushed and really a big letdown. Wouldn't it have been better if Big Show and Lashley were the last two in their match? Wouldn't that have been some kind of build up to the next PPV? They should have Kennedy and MVP square off in a destroy the gimmick match. That is the ugliest ring gear I have ever seen. Oh and big props to ALL the announcers for fuckin up on the mic all night long. Thanks for the lost sleep.

Big Daddy Donnie said...

Can we PLEASE get Cryme Time to steal MVP's gear??

Anonymous said...

Reaction to Punk was awesome, but he didnt do much in the match

Anonymous said...

quick question... with team xtreme headed to ecw... who will hardy be dropping his ic belt too?

Anonymous said...

How come Carlito is getting the shaft lately? Wasn't he due for a main event push about 4 months ago?

Anybody else see the REAL FANS HATE CENA sign

Anonymous said...

Batista sucks just as bad as Cena. And now there's rumors running that it'll be Batista vs. Taker at WM 23. And Batista is gonna stop the streak.

Anonymous said...

How did Ron Simmons get eliminated?

Anonymous said...

he got counted out
so gay

Anonymous said...

NOBODY SHOULD STOP UNDERTAKERS WRESTLEMANIA STREAK

Anonymous said...

Hardy will drop his belt tonight

Anonymous said...

He is goin for the tag title4s which will be won probobly

Anonymous said...

He is goin for the tag title4s which will be won probobly

Anonymous said...

Why don't you marks just shut up and get back to enjoying wrestling already? Chrissakes, let's over analyze EVERYTHING so it's not fun anymore?

Anonymous said...

Whats with the big push you Osters make for Mike Knox. Its not a black mark against ECW... HE'S MIKE KNOX! He shouldnt be competing with any talent on any roster.

If you want to complain about ECW being buried bring up it's hasty, 1 week, PPV promotion which will automatically result in low returns (probably what some anti-ecw elites in creative are hoping for). Bring up how ECW "originals" are constantly squashed (Sabu, Dreamer, ect.) or relegated (ala Sandman) to bashing freaks. Or bring up their low pay and no promotion. ECW is the WWE's redheaded stepchild right now, and Mike Knox getting superkicked by a future hall-of-famer is the LEAST of your concerns!

Also Undertaker should never lose at Wrestlemania!

Anonymous said...

Also, how about that stiff spin kick by RVD on Finlay... I O'd

Dan-e-o said...

Hey Baron,

We've addressed all those things already. Big Daddy's article "ECW Talent Getting Screwed" was posted just a few days ago.

How about you read the site before you criticize it?