Last night's debut of TNA's "iMPACT!" (and yes that is how TNA officially wants it to be spelled - check their website if you don't believe me) didn't have much of an impact (much quicker to type) on me.It felt WAY too produced. The matches and acting segments seemed rushed in an effort to perhaps get as much talent on screen as possible throughout the two hours they now have on Spike TV.
It simply wasn't TNA at its best. An X-Division title changed hands - for God's sake - in what can only be called a 'mini-match' that didn't live up to general X-Division title matches.
And I'm going to say it again. I HATE Mike Tenay and Don West!
I don't care what anybody says, these two are brutal.
First off, they are the KINGS of OBVIOUS. Like in the scrum between AMW and LAX where they oddly mention that Gail Kim has been out of action for over a month due to AMW putting a beatdown on her. Then, about two minutes later, Gail Kim shows up to interfere and exact some 'revenge' as Tenay and West pop like they're genuinely surprised that she's reappeared. "Look at this, it's Gail Kim, she's back!!"
I also HATE how Don West yells every sentence out until he runs out of breath and ends up trailing off at the end. They are also the KINGS of OVERDOING IT.
I also HATE how they come off disingenuous. They have no real range of emotion. They can go from screaming about something terrible that just happened to promoting the upcoming pay-per-view in the same tone. It feels way too...unreal.
I also HATE how they tend to call every single little thing that happens. I can actually picture Mike Tenay saying "Look at that! Sting is walking! He's putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again! He's approaching the ring and I'm quite sure, ladies and gentleman, he will be entering the ring!".
These guys are also the KINGS of the ANTI-CLIMATIC call. JR and King, they are not! Here's West's take on Rhino goaring Christian Cage through the steel cage:
"We'll have to see that again! What a finish! Rhino absolutely hits him with what he wanted to!"
What?
Tenay, seconds after Petey Williams stops LAX from burning the American flag, appears on screen in what looks looks like a pre-recorded segment. If it wasn't, he has a completely unnatural reaction - like he's already prepared his speech. He calmly congratulates Williams and calls him a "hero" for not succumbing to "peer pressure" by standing up to LAX and saving the flag from being burnt.
Peer pressure? What, was Petey at a highschool dance where some kids offered him weed? You know you're wack when...
Sorry O-sters. I didn't actually intend for the bulk of this article to be a Tenay and West bashing session...but I just couldn't help it. They actually make me NOT want to keep watching. I really think they're that bad.
These guys would NEVER get the commentator positions in WWE. And if TNA wants to remain competitive in their new prime time slot, they may want to reconsider the announce team.
Either way, I do have some other thoughts on "iMPACT!".
The Kevin Nash/Alex Shelley/Austin Starr bathroom court skits could have been funny, but came off being lame. Seriously, why was Kevin Nash butt-ass naked (save for his judge's cloak and wig) in a bathroom stall?
Voodoo Kin Mafia? In what is easily the dumbest name for a tag-team - especially the tag-team of Road Dogg and Billy Gunn, or BG James and Kip James, whatever - VKM is a direct diss to Vince McMahon. Also, their worked-shoot promo dissing DX was a bit over-the-top and it came off feeling forced. Especially when they jumped back and forth from being super-pissed to joking around.
And you know how the WWE boys will respond? By doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even acknowledging TNA's existence is WWE's M.O. and is also the biggest way to disrespect them.
Even Kurt Angle's TNA in-ring debut was just okay. I don't know, maybe I just won't feel the same about him since he's in a six-sided ring now. It's still weird to me. I'm hoping his match with Samoa Joe this Sunday at Genesis will change my mind.
I really didn't think that I'd be reviewing the new prime-time version of "iMPACT!" with such disrespect because I'm usually a fan of TNA's product. Now, I just hope it vastly improves over the course of the next few weeks to keep me a fan.
9 comments: on "Not So iMPACTful"
impact wasn't that bad, i will admit the announcers blow and have thought this for a long, long, long time... wouldn't hurt to maybe put nash behind the desk but maybe thats just me. something about the crowd going nuts and barely being able to hear that over west and tenney was getting extremely annoying.
the vkm is a horrid name, but not for nothing at least for a second there last night the james' seemed to have that old new age outlaw sparkle... and i don't know if them destroying the new raven squad was a knock of dx's squash fest of wwe's tag team division or not.
i think after almost a full year of raws that have damn near broken longtime viewers impact was a welcome sight, sure the x-division match wasn't the 5 star fest that it should have been (and i got a real laugh out of christian showing up saying something that had nothing to do with the match or anything and aj just going apeshit on him... think it was because someone made the comment that he was pissed someone was bleeding blood in his ring) and out of everyone in TNA to put Angle agaisnt their carbon copy of kane might not have been the best choice, and they're either extremely smart or stupid to have angle win clean over the number one contender at the ppv... either way it kicked ass compared to raw, just give them time to settle in.
I honestly don't think Tenay is that bad at the broadcast position. The only problem with this team is that they're both face. The quickest way for TNA to fix their broadcast announce conundrum would simply be to have West turn heel. That way, the commentary would be more than just Tenay and West repeating each other. In all honesty, though, it probably would be for the best if they did get somebody else as the color commentator. Kevin Nash was gold on commentary at Bound For Glory, he'd be a good fit at the color spot. Shane Douglas would have been okay too back when he wasn't doing anything. Hell, Jesse Ventura's not doing anything these days, plus he's got experience, so why not?
Now that I'm done with the commentary part, on with the rest.
Voodoo Kin Mafia is a seriously lame name, but then again, ever since Mr. Sopp came to TNA, the writers haven't come up with a single good angle for BG James. This angle won't get any farther than the last one did. The X Division match could have been an absolute classic, with three of the best X Division wrestlers in the company competing. Instead, it came off looking like a dark match. I think they botched the main event though. The point of giving Abyss title matches and main event spots is to give him a push. Why, then, are the writers having him lose to Angle? They should have just done the Joe run-in right as Abyss was in the ankle lock. There's just something about having him put over Angle days before main eventing a pay-per-view that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Yes, this iMPACT! was not nearly as good as any of the other ones they've broadcast, but I think that it's a learning experience. The first iMPACT! they ever had on Spike wasn't very good either, but they began to get better slowly. I suspect the same of the new prime time product.
...on a side note, I'm currently going for a degree in communications at college. Anybody think I should try and work my way up the ranks to replace either Tenay or West?
bullie276 i totally agree the show was best tv wrestling in last year i think tna is golden tenay is garbage they need joey scales partner he had in old ecw that guy was funny as hell and only thing i didnt like abt tna was nothing i loved it all i a huge mark of the tag team divison but tables match was lame but cage match was brutal good match and kurt was way smaller next to abyass
^^^kc starr ^^^^ myspace.com/kcstarr
Bullie276 hit the nail on the head... before i had the chance to... You guys really cannot be satisfied... It's one thing to be a critic, but ease up... You expect every highlight to ever have occured in wrestling history to happen every night... but it has to be something that has never happened before... somehow you've became spoiled
As far as Yawn Makeals goes... thats how Hunter/Paul's last name is pronounced... My gut tells me his former co-employee would know how to pronounce it... how rediculous would his name sound if it were pronounced (la-ve-skay)? I know silent letters are confusing for the illiterate, but the english language is a little tricky... then again i think lavesque is french (hmm)...
I can't disagree about West and Tenay... Though West can be amusing when he's coked up... I say fuck it, sure a Grade A+ commentary duo or trio would be great icing for the show... But is that what you tune in for? COMMENTARY?
Ah i hate so many of you, I could just keep writing this shit all night, but id rather go take a monster bonghit, turn on the dvr and watch iMPACT one more time..
oh well, I honestly feel some of you are splitting hairs here... maybe trying to make-up for your failures by maticulously critiquing the succesful...
Dude, commentary is half the story! Without a good call from ringside, the story gets lost. That's why JR is considered the best there is. His calls, whether a move or a run in or a backstage skit, make you feel the action that much more.
As for TNA, I've only ever seen one show and it sucked. No rhythm, no flow. I don't get the big deal about them.
As for the James boys thinking they made or saved DX. Aren't those two potheads? That explains their ranting. The only time they were cool was when they were in DX. Need proof? When else did you give a shit about them? BG James, you were Jarrett's lackey before DX. And Monty, You've had more gimmicks than I care to remember and they've all been shit.
Anyways, if you don't like the site anymore, go make your own. If they wanna shit on every show they watch, they're running this site. Don't like it, Go check out one of the other sites out there.
Isn't it ironic that the people saying the O Show is too critical are the same ones who always come on the O show and bitch about what they are reading.
good point, why should i come to this site if i hate so many elements of it? that makes about as much sense as watching a show and criticizing every detail?
All I gotta say is that Angles Entrance Music SUCKS!
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