A Clusterf*ck Of Opinions

It's been a while. In fact, it's been so long, that Marty "Boogeyman" Wright has been both fired and rehired since the last time you heard from me. Maybe even more impressive than that, Mike "Corporal" Kirshner died, then came back to life! That doesn't mean that the Pro-Wrestling Pundit hasn't had his share of opinions.

When I'm done, you are gonna have a reason to remember that my name is Tim HaughT, and not Tim Haugh as the right bar would have you believe. It may not matter, though, because this may be the post that gets me FIRED from Tha O Show. O really?

Right before my last post, the "King of Kontroversy" Chris Kanyon's exclusive interview was all the rage. Funny how many people are throwing around the word controversy, nowadays. How is this for some controversy: The Rise and Fall of Kanyon!

Chris Kanyon first caught my eye as a part of the Men at Work tag team, wrestling frequently with partner Mark Starr on WCW Saturday Night. He would go on to portray the Ultra-Sweet Mortis, and the Much Less Sweet Positively Kanyon. He managed to be one of the more entertaining aspects of an abysmal WCW invasion of the WWE years later, but interspersed with every bit of Kanyon goodness (Being an offensive innovator, his triad team with Dallas Page and Bam Bam Bigelow)was a moment that overshadowed it (The Villano IV Incident, Being thrown off the triple cage).

Much like I said about Bret Hart when I wrote the article titled "Bret Screwed Bret" for this site in September, I will let the history books decide Chris Kanyon's legacy in professional wrestling. I can't help but wonder if that post led to my "O Show" colleagues asking Kanyon about the Montreal incident. Kanyon supposedly "dropped a bombshell" that Bret was in on it the whole time. This should be major wrestling news, right?

Well, perhaps it could have been. Unfortunately Kanyon was taking a downward spiral. Now, my fellow O Show columnist is arguably 3rd on the list for craziest wrestler behind Ultimate "Warrior Warrior" Warrior and my favorite wrestler of all time, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. I mean, Kanyon said himself that reporters didn't believe he'd really be on Stern. Why didn't they believe it? Cause Kanyon went Krazy!

Over this past summer Kanyon has come out to the wrestling community, both as a character and as a person. Hey, I'm cool. I have no problem with gay people. Kanyon then accused WWE of firing him based on his sexual preference. Ric Flair and others have publicly disputed the claim, which Kanyon blows off as them just toeing the company line. However, with the WWE having Sylvan still under contract, and having had Pat Patterson in a position of great power in the company, these accusations are a bit hard to believe.

I am not sure what Kanyon is thinking when he shows up at a WWE House show to rebel rouse. Kanyon drew the ire of Triple H amongst others, and drew scrutiny from a great number of WWE fans as he stormed to the ring. Just when you thought the guy was loopy as hell, he breaks the news that Bret was in on the Montreal Screwjob, and this very site has the audacity to say, "Don't believe it, listen to the interview!"

Well I am sorry O Show, but regardless of whether it is true or not, one of the biggest wrestling controversies ever will not rest with me on Chris Kanyon's word alone. Was Bret working Kanyon? Was Kanyon working us? Who knows?

It seems that for a few months at the end of the summer, Kanyon would do or say anything to get a job with the WWE. I think that the Mortis gimmick could still make some money, and Kanyon's in ring work could still be greatly appreciated by today's fans. Unfortunately, I think Kanyon pretty much made sure we'll never see it in the WWE. I wish Kanyon all the best. Hopefully when I remember the wrestler, I won't worry about any of this B.S. publicity, and just remember him as a true talent.

Say what you will about John Cena, and Dan-e-o and Big Daddy have about said it all ad nauseaum, but this dude draws crowds, sells merchandise, stays over, and makes for damn good TV. While I understand the mentality of those who oppose him, and while I detest the way he has been taken out of his entertaining rap character and made Steve Austin/Rock light, I can't think of anyone who has been more interesting since Summer.

Tha O Show cheered as Edge pulled Cena's "Punk Card." That's simply not what Edge's job is. Edge's job is to be the most hated heel in wrestling, while helping Cena's babyface crowd reaction. Regardless of all that, they were easily the most interesting World title program in months, possibly years. Unfortunately Edge is now in a very boring go nowhere storyline with Randy Orton and Degeneration X. While HBK and HHH are constantly making me groan, Cena has managed to entertain me with the likes of Johnny Nitro, Kevin Federline, Big Show, King Booker, and Umaga.

John Cena is a hard working man, and he is money in Vince's bank. It's as Ric Flair would say back in the day, "If you don't like it, learn to love it, cause it's the best thing going today." While Batista fizzled, Cena sizzled. John Cena deserves respect!

There was an article on this website about how Cena disrespected the NWA TNA X Division Title. While Cena made an appearance on Cold Pizza, Chicago White Sock A.J. Pfftmylastnameishardtospell comes out with his TNA X Division title. I can't even begin to imagine what would have happened 10 years ago in a similar situation. It was said that Cena stupidly and ignorantly commented that he saw the same belt in the gumball machine outside. I think you meant to say Cena cleverly and humorously commented.

What the hell do you think Steve Austin would have done in the attitude era had Karl Malone or David Arquette came out during his appearance with the WCW title. What about if Cyndi Lauper showed up next to Ric Flair with the WWF title during the Rock N' Wrestling Era. Cena handled himself like a champ by letting people get their pictures of him next to what is easily the ugliest belt in professional wrestling (Cena's may be a close second).

Big Daddy Donnie then went on to say that the X Division belt had gained more respect that the lunk of shit Cena carries. That lunk of shit is the WWE Championship Donnie, and it's the reason you are writing for a pro-wrestling blog. Criticizing Cena for not being a mark for TNA and the X Division is ludicrous. He is the biggest wrestling superstar in the world right now. Luckily the readers were quick to jump out and exclaim that while the X Division may be exciting, the majority of matches have little to no psychology, tell no story, and are spot on top of spot. While Cena is the bad guy for making one comment in jest, TNA is cutting promos and making angles based on WWE stuff: Rhyno, Angle, and the James Gang being the most outstanding examples. 20 years ago, a professional wrestler would have slapped a major league baseball player in the mouth for pulling a stunt like that.

Kurt Angle has joined NWA:TNA, and while offering one of the more intriguing programs in professional wrestling, being him against Samoa Joe, Angle's promo work on the show has NOT been good. In fact, I'd say it's been amatuer. Well, whether amatuer or professional, Kurt Angle is a huge coup for any wrestling promotion. I think they are rushing the Angle/Joe match horribly, and thus, f'ing up their money, but truth be told, TNA isn't making any money anyway. On the contrary they are losing Dixie Carter's money on the daily. Hopefully the addition of Angle and their move to primetime can turn the company around financially and offer a real alternative product to the WWE.

Speaking of Angle, who the F is Daniel Puder to keep running his mouth? Obviously this kid idolizes Tito Ortiz, and obviously this kid is trying to make a quick buck at the expense of an unfortunately unprofessional incident that happened years ago. I am not going to argue that Puder couldn't beat the living shit out of Angle in a real fight. I don't know the answer, nor do I care. In fact, I will go as far as to say that I could give two shits less about anything that happens in the world of mixed martial arts. I will say however, that when Kurt Angle brings a green ass rookie into a WWE ring, no matter what their fighting background is, to take liberties and put a huge moneymaking star of that company in a keylock is grossly unprofessional. Puder wants to make a living off of what can effectively be best described as a cheap shot.

While Kanyon, Angle, and Puder may not be receiving second chances with the WWE, Jeff Hardy surely is. Hardy returned to the WWE out of shape, but the fans hadn't forgot that for whatever reason, they love this walking acid trip. Up until Monday Night, Hardy effectively rolled over the Raw midcard consisting of Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Masters, and Johnny Nitro. He sucked all the steam out of a potential Super Crazy push, and even bigger than that, he made his souless brother look like an even bigger sack of shit.

I mean, if you were Matt Hardy a few weeks ago, you went to bed every night thinking of your dreams in the wrestling business, while in the midst of long losing streak. All the while, your drug addict brother is brought back and handed the WWE Intercontinental Title and your former girlfriend who cheated on you holds the WWE Women's Championship, and the former friend that porked her is the WWE Champion all at the same time.

As much as I hate fantasy booking, I will go ahead and state that while the first Survivor Series match of HHH, HBK, CM PUNK, Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy vs. Edge, Orton, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms, and Johnny Nitro is intriguing (who would think that WWE would actually put Punk, Knox, and Helms in that company at this point, the second match is much less interesting. Cena, Lashley, RVD, Sabu, and Kane vs. Show, Test, Finlay, Umaga, and MVP.

With the assumptions that Chavo vs. Benoit and Ken Kennedy vs. the Undertaker are a go for the PPV, I would have gone with Cena vs. Umaga one on one, with RVD, Sabu, Sandman, Dreamer, and Balls Mahoney vs. Big Show, Test, Hardcore Holly, Sylvester Terkay, and Matt Striker in an ECW Originals vs. Non-Originals match. I would then have Batista, Lashley, London, Kendrick and Kane vs. King Booker, Regal, Finlay, Tatanka, and MVP. To top off the card, from the Raw Brand I would have Piper, Regal, Carlito, and Cryme Tyme vs. Chris Masters, Shelton Benjamin, Kenny, Mikey, and Johnny of the Spirit Squad. That's just me.

I must say, it feels great having a night away from the grad school pressures and a chance to write about wrestling for the great O Show audience. Hopefully, Donnie and Dan-e-o will allow me to continue to write here, after my strong words about Kanyon and the TNA X Title incident. Also, we can't forget about my heart helping of love for WWE Champion John Cena.

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