SummerSlam So-So

In what could never be called an amazing pay-per-view, last night's SummerSlam event wasn't too bad either. Unfortunately, that's not saying much considering that SS is commonly referred to as WWE's second biggest PPV of the year. We DID, however, get to see brand new WWE Diva and my future wife, Layla's bare ass! That alone was worth the price of the event, admit it! Seriously though, that's exactly what she was hired for, so kudos to WWE for utilizing their new talent appropriately. Excellent job.

And for those who weren't able to pick up on the sarcasm drenching the last couple of sentences...what was up with the LACK of talent used in this event?

Now, generally WWE will throw in at least one surprise match-up per pay-per-view event. Especially, in the case of this year's SummerSlam where there were only seven announced matches. My only surprise last night was that there were no surprise matches! More importantly, BOTH tag titles, the U.S. Championship, the Cruiserweight Championship, the Women's title and the SummerSlam 1992 headlining Intercontinental belt were all kept off the card last night. Way to push your 'champs' guys.

Either way, for the card being presented, in wasn't half bad. As predicted, Chavo Guerrero came out as the victor in his bout with Rey Mysterio. My initial reaction to the opening minutes of the match was that the two superstars were telling the story all wrong.

This was considered a 'grudge match' as both opponents were embroiled in a bitter rivalry concerning the beloved Eddie Guerrero. Why were they using wrestling holds and high-flying moves instead of pounding the shit out of each other in the opening stages? Isn't that what usually happens when you're REALLY vex with someone you're having a fight with?

Aside from that, I really liked the in-ring chemistry between the two and I thought they pulled off a decent match. I just knew Vicki Guerrero would play a role as well...and again, Chavo needed this victory to maintain even an inkling of what one can call a career. As far as predictions go, I'm one up on Donnie at this point.

The ECW title match goes second? Wow, the fans are really being made to believe that we should think a lot of this brand. Too bad Sabu had to face The Big Show because it was evident he would have pulled off a greater performance with someone who wasn't so slow. You could tell Sabu was having trouble working his style of match during a couple of botched spots. He never fails to deliver on providing of a few good O's though. The Big Show wins, however. I'm 1-1, Donnie's 0-2!

Now don't get me wrong. I wanted Hogan to win. I even wrote that I hoped Randy Orton would lose to a legdrop! But damn, can't Hogan think of ANY other way of winning a match? It's obvious I'm as big a Hulk Hogan mark as there is but this was basically a repeat performance of last year's SummerSlam main event with Shawn Michaels. Check that, it was a repeat performance of every Hogan victory ever! Unbelievable...but hey, Orton sucks so at least he deserved to lose, right?

Orton really is wack. As my brother pointed out, you would think that with his physique, he could actually pull off some moves. A.J. Styles he is NOT! Anyway, Hulkamania still lives and Dan-e-o is up 2-1 on predictions to Donnie's 0-3. HA!

Now in what I expected to be an O-fest, I found a fairly decent pop-worthy affair. Foley and Flair delivered...but not in the "you gotta see that match!!!" type of way one would have hoped for. Of course, they both bled like that time of the month (gross, I know...sorry guys) and there were some O-worthyness for sure (man, it really looked like Flair was trying to take out Foley's eye with the barbedwire bat at one point!) but...I guess I was kinda hoping to jump out of my seat at something.

In addition, in what Tha "O" Show and all its O-sters have been discussing for weeks, Flair and Foley are two of the best on the mic ever....you would have thought that in a match that INVOLVED a microphone, there would have been better dialogue. It was good, but not great. Line of the night: "I'll kill you too!" says Flair to Melina! Donnie was right though, Mick Foley is WWE's top jobber. I'm 2-2, but still up on Big Daddy's 1-3 score at this point.

Now here's where the PPV saves itself from the world of sucking ass. King Booker retains his title! At this point, I don't even care that the match ends in a lame ass DQ. King Booker retains his title! I don't even care that my prediction score is now at 2-3 (hey Don's at 1-4 at this point). King Booker retains his title! The always O-less, charisma lacking, no move having, muscle head Batista walks out of SummerSlam with no gold! King Booker retains his title! And all is right with the world.

DX and the McMahons perform the joke of a match it was pretty much expected to be. In a feud dominated by prank-pulling and tomfoolery (never thought I'd use that word in an article), this "contest" pretty much stayed true to the concept of this rivalry. A total of no less than ten guys (let's see if I got this right...five Spirit Squad members, Kennedy, Finlay, Regal, Umaga and The Big Show) yeah TEN guys rush the ring to but a beatdown on the TWO-membered D-Generation X...and the McMahons still can't beat them? Okay...

It's all good I guess, considering I'm back at .500 with a 3-3 prediction count while Big Daddy Donnie improves to 2-4, still with no chance of having a winning record for the evening. I was hoping for a few more O's especially from Shane "O" Mac...but I really liked the spot where HBK superkicked him while he attempted his "patented" Van Terminator.

Finally, Edge VS. Cena. I don't know if I've even seen Cena in a match that I thought was "good". Honestly, as in the case with my man, Book...I'm just glad Edge retained his title. No...I'm fuckin' thrilled Edge kept the belt! THANK GOD we don't have to watch John Cena rocking the gold. As mentioned before, Edge is a thousand times more entertaining and certainly deserving of keeping the strap longer than a "transitional champion".

So ends SummerSlam 2006. A so-so show at best. Dan-e-o finishes with a decent 4-3. Big Daddy Donnie ends with a 3-4 score. WWE fans are left hoping Unforgiven is better. (WE at Tha "O" Show sure hope so!).

Other O-ster results:
Signguy_shooter - 2-5
watch-wrestling.com - 5-2 (and wins the challenge he set up!)
Team Tom - 4-3

Share |